Group chats

Does your polycule have a group chat?

  • Yes and we all live together

    Votes: 1 8.3%
  • No and we all live together

    Votes: 2 16.7%
  • Some of us do

    Votes: 3 25.0%
  • Yes and we don't live together

    Votes: 3 25.0%
  • No and we don't live together

    Votes: 3 25.0%

  • Total voters


Staff member
Hi everyone

I see this come up a lot and am simply curious as to its prevalence for polycules. Feel free to add some discussion, too, like, do you also use group chats with family?
Nope. Hubby and Boy don't really communicate unless it's about gifts for me or when we're all hanging out. Any issues are discussed with me since I'm the one they're in a relationship with. If it's something that concerns the other, then I discuss the pertinent details.
Yes. Almost everyday, we live together.

Initially, communication between partners went through me. It was a hard position for me to be in because I tend to be defensive for both of them. I encouraged my partners begin communicating with each other and they did so successfully. Now that we cohabitate, group discussions are a very normal and natural part of our routine.

Even meetings such as parent teacher conferences are done as a group because we are all co-parenting my child.
Last edited:
Damn, I meant using an app like Messenger or WhatsApp.
Brother-Husband and Snowbunny sometimes text each other. I rarely text outside the very perfunctory, "Okay." In response to Snowbunny texting me, and she rarely does that. I don't have a smartphone.
Damn, I meant using an app like Messenger or WhatsApp.
That's what I assumed when I voted. I've done group chats with a partner and meta before. I voted no and we do not live together. Experience has taught me that I only want to do group chats if the hinge has good hinge skills and if I get along well with my meta. Ironically, for me, group chats have only gone well for me if we are all female. I've learned not to do group chats with metas on Blue's side the hard way. His hinge skills have improved but I prefer parallel with little interaction on his side which is a 180 from my ideal KTP.... but my life is much more peaceful this way.
iMessage, sometimes.

Because we all talk in person everyday there is not much to text about short of brainstorming about activities, travel, & purchases….

It’s not a very common activity and usually happens while we are all in the same room to send each other links, pictures, websites, ect…
Last edited:
I am on a LOT of group chats, actually. There's one with Knight and Joan - partially there for household logistics type discussion, partially just for amusing memes and daily chatter. Artist isn't in on that one just because it DID start as logistics, and still is on some levels. I'm also in group chats for the friends that come to dinner on Sundays and a somewhat larger group of friends who either used to be in the Sunday dinner crowd and moved away or are otherwise closely associated (Joan and Artist are also included in these groups). And there's yet another chat with some close friends I made on another polyamory discussion group. I mention the two that aren't obviously polycules because honestly, in a lot of ways each of those groups of people - the Sunday crowd and the polygroupchat - act as almost emotional polycules in many ways, even if we aren't romantically connected - probably chosen family is a better term.
We use Gchat (Google Chat). Works great. Here's a sample just from this morning when everyone is working. lol
Not in a 'cule yet, but Discord would also be another option. I like it because it doesn't take up too many resources on either the computer or the phone. It was developed for gamers on account of that.
I was in a group chat with a wife and husband. But that was before I started a relationship with the wife.

The group chat went silent. She tried to keep it going by updating with posts to stir conversation.

But the issue was that my friendship with the husband became strained to the point we no longer spoke to each other.