Polyamory
I forget who the hell I am anymore, what I stand for, believe in, want, care for, etc. I feel like an empty shell. A shadow of my former self, watching my current self spiral into self destruction, helpless to stop the travesty unfolding before my fucking eyes.
I'm lost, lost like I was 2 years ago. Then I met a girl and everything came into clarity. Now she's gone and everything is out of focus. I see the way I treat people now and I just stopped caring. I smoke marijuana a hell of a lot more than I used to, now for completely different reasons. I lost interest in everything. I don't play games as much as I used to. I stopped playing guitar, stopped being social, stopped trying to make friends. I lost my religion. I don't know what I believe anymore. Nothing is true. Everything has turned out to be a lie.
I mean, shit, I act like I normally do, but inside I know I'm dead. I think about trying to move on, trying to find a new woman to bring into my life, but it's hard to be confident when you never had any self confidence in the first place. God, I wish my people never became modernized and we still hunted buffalo with sticks and arrows. God, it would be so much easier being a Cherokee in a white man's world if it was still like that. But alas, I can't be so lucky.
How does one rediscover oneself?
I'm lost, lost like I was 2 years ago. Then I met a girl and everything came into clarity. Now she's gone and everything is out of focus. I see the way I treat people now and I just stopped caring. I smoke marijuana a hell of a lot more than I used to, now for completely different reasons. I lost interest in everything. I don't play games as much as I used to. I stopped playing guitar, stopped being social, stopped trying to make friends. I lost my religion. I don't know what I believe anymore. Nothing is true. Everything has turned out to be a lie.
I mean, shit, I act like I normally do, but inside I know I'm dead. I think about trying to move on, trying to find a new woman to bring into my life, but it's hard to be confident when you never had any self confidence in the first place. God, I wish my people never became modernized and we still hunted buffalo with sticks and arrows. God, it would be so much easier being a Cherokee in a white man's world if it was still like that. But alas, I can't be so lucky.
How does one rediscover oneself?