Hello Everyone!


New member
My screen name is SuperDave924, but for practical purposes, just Dave. ;-). I am the spouse of another newcomer, Suzanne. We recently ended what turned into our first polyamorous relationship. What started out as an attempt to add another couple as sexual partners to our relationship, turned into a wonderful, loving, two+ year experience. Although it is over, we hold our former partners in the highest regard.

At this point, we are trying to examine the details of what has happened. When we met what would become our secondaries, the concept of polyamory was foreign to us. As things progressed, we tried to figure out a name for what we were doing. Friends with benefits sounded a little too, shall we say, sitcom-ish. In the end, the term polyfidelity seemed to be the most fitting.

Going forward, we've decided that model (another married couple with exclusivity) fits our needs best. For the most part, it feels like we're spinning our wheels searching for that elusive match. That being said, we'll stick too it, and in the meantime, learn as much as we can. :)

Thank you to you all for providing such a fantastic, supportive resource.
Greetings Dave,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Glad to have you and Suzanne both here! You seem like wonderful people who have taken your time to learn about poly and do it right.

I can offer you links and tips for searching for that right couple for you. We do have a Dating & Friendships subforum on this site, could help you find local people in your area.

Polyamory.com is a great resource for learning all kinds of things about polyamory, so tap right in and let us know if you have any questions.

Good to have you here.
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)


There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
Thanks, Kevin.

Thanks for the welcome. I'm thoroughly impressed with the job you do. It's great to see such dedication. Suzanne and I feel very fortunate to come across such a great community.
Sounds awesome what you want. Know, however, that the chances of you finding a couple, where you and the other wife, and she and the other husband, both love each other equally, is almost impossible.

Inevitably, relationships will progress at different rates. Think of it sensibly. If you fall for a married woman, is it really realistic that your wife would just happen to fall for the husband? What if breakups happen? If you break up with the wife, but your wife is in love with the husband, would you make her leave him?

Quads such as you describe work excellently in swinging. But you may want to keep your options open when it comes to real love and emotions. It's okay to focus mostly on other married people, though. Maybe you date a married woman, and she dates a married man (not married to your girlfriend).

Of course...that won't prevent either of you from possibly falling in love with a single person. But it'll limit that as a possibility.
Thanks for your insight.

You are absolutely correct. Although we are obviously a little naive, it would be foolish to think that everything will be equal. Whatever the relationships ultimately look like, it is almost guaranteed that they will have progressed at different paces, and possibly end up in different places. After all, Suzanne and I are very different people, with different needs. The possibility that we'll end up with unrelated partners is always present. This is something we've considered, and will continually discuss. We've chosen our ideal situation as a goal, and a starting point. However, real life has an uncanny knack for throwing curve balls, and we'll do our best to stay flexible.

Thanks again for your encouragement and advice. I'm sure we'll be needing someone to lean on in the future.
We're open to anything that develops organically and openly. While another married couple is our ideal, we're not opposed to other scenarios. Yes, our preferences have changed course from where we started, however, the gravitational pull for me, has remained the same, to give ourselves and each other the freedom to experience LIFE and, yes, love beyond our own. Whether it's a crazy, fun one night stand or a deep, committed, loving relationship.

Which is just one reason I find all of these discussions so fascinating. A good reminder that possibilities are endless, and while it's good to have goals, keep your options open, you may be surprised!

Thanks for your thoughts, we appreciate it!