Hi everyone! 
I feel a bit of a fraud posting here as I don't really know if I'm poly (or even if it's a thing you are, rather than a thing you do?). I didn't realise there was a name for my situation until fairly recently, but I've been doing a lot of Googling and ended up here ... where I've already found heaps of interesting and helpful information (thank you!). So now that I've finally plucked up the courage to register, here I am!
It's probably easiest if I start by briefly introducing everyone:
Me - 29F, heterosexual
P - 31M, bisexual, my boyfriend of 10 years and committed life partner
R - 36M, heterosexual, my boyfriend of 6 months
C - 29F, bisexual, my close friend and P's girlfriend of 5 months
P and I jointly own a house and a whole menagerie of pets. We were monogamous for nine years (apart from a year when we were members of a swingers' club), until last summer when we began relationships with R and C. Both had been our close friends for many years - I've known C since we were at school and she's probably my closest female friend. R had also been a good friend for a long time, and I had always found him attractive, but he was in a long-term relationship until about a year ago.
We've experienced a few challenges along the way, which I'll save for another post, but the short version is that R is now living with us. (C owns her own house in another city.)
I suppose I've always been quite open-minded in my relationships (more so than most of my friends, at least, some of whom are very traditional). I was in an open relationship before I met P, although it didn't work very well, and a few times I was aware of having romantic feelings for more than one person at once. Unfortunately I always dismissed any idea of pursuing this and ended relationships if I found myself developing feelings for someone else. After I acknowledged the possibility of enjoying more than one person simultaneously, I assumed this was a purely sexual thing (hence the swinging, and a few proposed threesomes, only one of which ever went ahead). But I was never able to separate sex from emotions ... in fact, now I think about it, my last three relationships started as one-night stands and 'evolved' from there! At this point I can say without reservation that I love both P and R and am totally committed to both of them.
Some of the things I'd be keen to discuss with more experienced poly people are:
- 'Getting the balance right' between partners, especially in a cohabiting context
- Managing jealousy (although this is less of an issue for us now)
- The dynamics of a quad, if that's the right term, and what might happen if the setup changes (P, R and I are in this for the long haul, but for C it's more of a temporary arrangement)
- Whether to tell friends and family
Good to meet you all, and I look forward to sharing experiences and (hopefully) getting some advice from people who understand!
I feel a bit of a fraud posting here as I don't really know if I'm poly (or even if it's a thing you are, rather than a thing you do?). I didn't realise there was a name for my situation until fairly recently, but I've been doing a lot of Googling and ended up here ... where I've already found heaps of interesting and helpful information (thank you!). So now that I've finally plucked up the courage to register, here I am!
It's probably easiest if I start by briefly introducing everyone:
Me - 29F, heterosexual
P - 31M, bisexual, my boyfriend of 10 years and committed life partner
R - 36M, heterosexual, my boyfriend of 6 months
C - 29F, bisexual, my close friend and P's girlfriend of 5 months
P and I jointly own a house and a whole menagerie of pets. We were monogamous for nine years (apart from a year when we were members of a swingers' club), until last summer when we began relationships with R and C. Both had been our close friends for many years - I've known C since we were at school and she's probably my closest female friend. R had also been a good friend for a long time, and I had always found him attractive, but he was in a long-term relationship until about a year ago.
We've experienced a few challenges along the way, which I'll save for another post, but the short version is that R is now living with us. (C owns her own house in another city.)
I suppose I've always been quite open-minded in my relationships (more so than most of my friends, at least, some of whom are very traditional). I was in an open relationship before I met P, although it didn't work very well, and a few times I was aware of having romantic feelings for more than one person at once. Unfortunately I always dismissed any idea of pursuing this and ended relationships if I found myself developing feelings for someone else. After I acknowledged the possibility of enjoying more than one person simultaneously, I assumed this was a purely sexual thing (hence the swinging, and a few proposed threesomes, only one of which ever went ahead). But I was never able to separate sex from emotions ... in fact, now I think about it, my last three relationships started as one-night stands and 'evolved' from there! At this point I can say without reservation that I love both P and R and am totally committed to both of them.
Some of the things I'd be keen to discuss with more experienced poly people are:
- 'Getting the balance right' between partners, especially in a cohabiting context
- Managing jealousy (although this is less of an issue for us now)
- The dynamics of a quad, if that's the right term, and what might happen if the setup changes (P, R and I are in this for the long haul, but for C it's more of a temporary arrangement)
- Whether to tell friends and family
Good to meet you all, and I look forward to sharing experiences and (hopefully) getting some advice from people who understand!
