Well I think your attitude is right and very honest. Take it slow, and give yourself time to acclimatize.
. . . I don't know what our marriage means anymore, I had a fantasy about us being special and that it was us against the world. That fantasy isn't exactly gone, but I'm having a hard time overlaying it on poly - where the two of us simply can't complete her. I feel like we are meant for each other, and I don't want to give that up.
But how does love and relationships fit in here? Because when one person tries to open up a mono relationship, it is because there is something they need.We are all whole human beings, and if we feel incomplete, no other person can fix that for us. It's an illusion that only can change from the inside.
But how does love and relationships fit in here? Because when one person tries to open up a mono relationship, it is because there is something they need.
That quite frankly wasn't how it felt. I read in a different thread where the partner said something like - 'I love you, I want to be with you, but if I have to choose between you and freedom I will choose freedom'. M said last night that's how she felt too. It's shocking how much she would give up for this - we have two kids, she isn't in a position to support herself and few of her family and friends would understand.Well "need" and "want" sometimes break down into a semantic discussion. I think the point in this is that M realized that a poly life would be a good thing for her ... and by extension, for her and you as well.
Thanks - this means a lot.That is an amazing gift for a spouse to give, and I commend you for "leaping that chasm." It's not supported by society at large (yet), so it takes a great deal of introspection and inner strength to be okay with this whole "poly" thing.