I need some advice

UNICORN324

New member
RED = Long Term BF
BLUE = New BF

Hi all,

So i was holding back a lil before doing this but i said i may aswell ask now.

So SEX is what this is about. So for my 1-1 encounters be it with red or blue or who ever it is great and both me and who ever the other person may be enjoy it. Between me and BLUE sex is very fun and exciting and i feel each time is new for us.
With RED sex has always been big part of who we are as being very horny people and each time i do best to try better myself from last time and i know how to make him feel really good!

There is 1 main issue:

The big thing is and has been discussed between both BLUE & RED they have both said if we ever have a 3sum 1 of them cant see me fucking the other person as they get jealous.

Red said anything else sexual is fine just cant see me inside someone else. We both had agreed that we want to experience and have group fun. now he already has had some of this experience and of of them while we were dating but not in the same place so i couldn't join, but my issue is if i do what am i suppose to do sit and watch if i can't fuck other people but i cant let them fuck you. (btw i made him aware it hurts me to see it but i want him to enjoy it so i let him)

BLUE (same main issue of seeing me inside someone) more wants the whole experience with me and doesn't want to share but he knows there is a guy that i will be having sex with that i asked the guy if BLUE could join. This guy and BLUE are already friends and apparently had asked BLUE to have sex before at the time he didn't. BLUE has said that when it comes to sex with another guy he will do it because I'm there and do it for me.

I cant force it cause i want us all to enjoy this moment between Me, RED & BLUE

So im wondering does anyone has tips that may help us get to a point where sex and jealousy wont mix ??
 

GalaGirl

Well-known member
With Red, sounds like he can deal with some making out but no penetration.

You feel hurt to watch him penetrate others in a group sex context but want him to enjoy so do it anyway. ( So basically hurt yourself?)

Blue doesn't especially want to share group sex, but will do it "for you."

None of that sounds like enthusiastic, joyful consent to me. Mostly "doing it for the other person" or something like "proving I love you by doing stuff I'm not really into" or something. Rather than honoring your own selves or your own values.

I guess I'm wondering why go there then? Group sex is not a requirement in polyamory. I think the simplest way to avoid group sex issues with people who aren't really into group sex? Is to skip sharing the group sex with them then.

If you are in an open relationship and want this experience? It's ok if your threesome experience doesn't include either Red or Blue. And you seek threesome partners who are actually going to be into it.

Galagirl
 

UNICORN324

New member
With Red, sounds like he can deal with some making out but no penetration.
well RED is bottom so he can handle it all but he just can see me pentrate anyone but yet he can take it no questions asked
You feel hurt to watch him penetrate others in a group sex context but want him to enjoy so do it anyway. ( So basically hurt yourself?)
i guess that is the way to see it
 

FallenAngelina

Well-known member
The big thing is and has been discussed between both BLUE & RED they have both said if we ever have a 3sum 1 of them cant see me fucking the other person as they get jealous.
I don't understand. Why would you want to have a threesome with partners who don't want to see this? I dunno, I've been around all manner of group sex and in my world, if someone says they can't handle seeing me in this setting, then I don't press the issue with them. It's walking into a hornet nest when I can just walk past it.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

For me, groups and threesomes are options, not requirements, so I'm fine with forgoing it altogether if a partner isn't joyful about participating. Is group sex a requirement for you or is it an option?
 

Coveny

New member
I would first agree with Galagirl on "why go there". I've mainly seen this sort of thread from male Vs, and I generally advise against it as it fucks up one or both of the relationships. Maybe guys can handle it better, but doing something sexually for someone that you don't want to do needs to be handled very carefully. The males in question sound straight, and not even bi-curious.

Lastly, maybe this is uncouth for these forums but logistically speaking you deal with the same issues MFM 3somes have of taking turns or mouth and genitals. With FMF 3somes the ladies don't have to look at each other, but doing the finger trap means the guys have to look at each other. So I think jealousy and homophobia are gonna be heightened.

If however, you are dead set on going down this path I would recommend starting slow. Give them both handjobs where they don't have to look at each other if they can cum that way. Maybe put of a curtain or do some type of glory hole set up where they can maintain the illusion that they are alone. I would be very careful about Red's feelings though as it sounds like Blue is going to have an easier time with it and Red may feel bad because he can't move forward as quickly as Blue down the 3some path. To be fair though any time you try to make someone do something sexually they don't want to do it doesn't generally end well, and when you add multiple personalities, goals, and desires to the mix the likelihood of hurt feelings increases dramatically. So I'll tell you like I would tell those guys. Is it really worth blowing up one of your relationships just to get your fantasy?
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
I'm so confused lol.

This is 3 guys who want to have a threeway, but 2 of them (Red and Blue) don't want to see your dick going into the other guy's ass? So, would just kissing and hand jobs and bjs and frottage be OK? Keep it to "outercourse," so to speak?

Sometimes in the heat of the moment, people's feelings can change. One or both of your partners could get all horned up and go, "Oh OK, I am fine if you fuck the other guy." And so you do, only to have him or them regret it the next day.
 
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