Family-centric is not an uncommon relationship model, whether you're talking poly or mono, and except for the Alaska and not locking doors bit, it all sounded quite familiar to me. I can't imagine having a serious relationship with anyone who did not fit in well with my family. TGIB has said something similar when I've expressed concerns over who he may choose to date in the future (his past track record in choosing partners who respect him and treat him well is not good, if you're wondering why I was concerned). We are a family, and though it is NOT required to date or have sex with either of my partners in order to have the option for both with me, being able to get along with everyone reasonably well and spend time with the group IS.
I would say your situation and outlook are unique, nycindie, rather than LR's.
Yes, I could be seen as being in the minority of poly, being solo, but I know there are lots of other solos with very similar views, wants, and practices to mine. I guess I wasn't clear, though, about why I think LR's situation is unique. It's not the focus on children and family - that I get. If I were a parent or step-parent, I'd be focused on family, too. I know lots of polyfolk have families and make their families a priority. I know many polyfolk don't introduce their children to lovers until the relationship seems solid and established. Those things all make quite a lot of sense, and I don't think that's unusual.
I do think LR's tight-knit community where people can come and go into her home IS unusual. That she lives with her husband and boyfriend, and each of them are on different schedules, all co-parenting their children, but don't like really hearing about her relationship with the other, while one is LR's dom and the other is LR's sub, is also unusual. I also think that her policy of establishing friendships first and making sure someone is part of her inner family circle before
entertaining any sort of romantic involvement is very unusual. As I understand it, she doesn't "date" per se, someone she doesn't know and have a tight friendship with already. That is mainly what I see as not applying to most people. The way LR "dates" seems more European in style than American. I may be wrong, but I think most poly people in No. America, including partnered ones, will go out on dates with people they are just meeting in person for the first time, to see if there is a possibility for romance. Sure, it might be a while before they meet the family, that is not the element I think would not apply to most poly people.
I admit, though - LR's approach and outlook seems so extroverted to me, so maybe I see it as odd just because I am very much an introvert!
Sorry, LR, if it sounded like I was critical. I just didn't see how your situation, which I think is unusual, really applies to this thread where the OP was talking about couples who demand that a lover be romantically involved with both of them. I guess you were just talking about familial/social involvement. And it seemed you kept repeating yourself over and over abut your situation and approach in this and other threads - but maybe some people just weren't getting what you were saying. And also, sorry for writing about you in the third person, it's just that once I started, wasn't sure how to transition!