I'm Rechristening: American living in Bristol, England: Southwest


New member
Tell us about YOU and YOUR situation.

Hello lovely people! Rechristening here. I am solo poly, with one partner, almost three years together. We swing together and share as much as we can.

About four years ago, I broke up with my civil partner. We'd been together for 11 years, hitched for eight. As a last ditch attempt, they tried to open our relationship, as that was our original agreement, so I think they thought that would help. I went with it, until it was clear that they weren't able to take responsibility for their emotions and kept to their old habits of trying to isolate me from people to keep me all for them. At that time, I was seeing a couple of guys, nothing serious, but really friendly. One guy was just opening up their life to be poly, as was I. But I've known I was poly since my 30s. :D

Fast forward to now-- life has taken a load of shits on me, no joke, but I have always been one to carry on. I have one partner and I would like to make room for becoming part of a community, but my mental health and income haven't really made room for that. In December I quit the full-time job that wasn't paying a living wage, in order to pay attention to my mental health and make room for me to recalculate my dreams, goals and health.

The best part of all this is the amazing human being that Chaos managed to put in my life! Who knows how long we will be in each other's lives, physically? We both have very different dreams/goals. But I do know that I am so amazed at our love, whilst the world around us throws everything it's got at us! LOL!

My biggest issue is that I am solo poly, but because life has turned how it has, we are living together. Although it's working out fine, I don't really want to live with someone I have sex with. So although it's all good, it's not all good in the way I want it to be.

Neither one of us has permanent jobs (agency work). He has two children that he sees two times a month, more on certain holidays, but he is officially homeless and doesn't want to pay rent when he is trying to get on the property ladder. I can't move right now as there is no money and most private landlords won't take agency work as proof of income. However, after I finish a four-week course (spread out over eight weeks), I hope to get a better paying job and be able to move us. We will move together.

Meanwhile, I have lived in England for 20 years. I taught secondary-school English for 18 years. The 10th year in teaching, I had a mental breakdown and worked long-term contracts/short-term contracts, until I finally l left in March 2022! I love teaching, but the system is broken and only traumatises everyone involved. It is a relief to get out of it.

I look forward to seeing what teaching ESL to adults will be like! Hopefully less classroom management skills are needed. LOL!

I'm a bubbly, thoughtful person who loves to dance, joke around, and have a good natter whenever possible. The difficult thing at this time, is that my anxiety and depression are on a plateau right now. I'm just 'coming out of the dark' and enjoying that feeling, but I still don't have any close friends near me. They are mostly in the US. My bestie lives in another city. I am feeling alone.

Originally, I wanted to use online forums to help me meet people in person, but that's a crazy annoying thing that doesn't work, as people aren't nearly as up front and honest online and stand me up. So, I guess I find myself back here because I need people to reach out to whilst I find my feet in a city I've lived in for almost 10 years (whilst in an abusive CV) and don't have close connections or money/time to go to the local poly and queer meet-ups.

That's me in a crazy nutshell! :D Overall, my 50s are not boring, that is FOR SURE!
Greetings Rechristening,

Welcome back to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Thanks for sharing your story. It seems like you have been through some rough times, but you are hanging in there. Hopefully you can make some good friends here.

I myself am in a poly-fi MFM V, and live in New Mexico. Let me know if you have any questions for me. Like you, I am in my 50s.

Kevin T., "official greeter" :)


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Welcome, Rechristening. Good for you for taking risks (changing partners and career) in order to live better and enjoy yourself and reduce stress. I wish you the best with all your dreams and goals.

It's hard to make new friends when your funds and time are limited. Hopefully as you get more settled you'll be able to indulge in your hobbies more and meet like-minded people that way.