JacobCarlson
New member
My apologies for the long response.
My wife and I have been married for five years and together for 10. For the past year and a half she has been having a secret partner she has kept from me. On many levels they are involved with the possibility of a new business together, working in the same building, and talking constantly.
For a few years my wife has felt I neglected to communicate well and I have since November of last year made significant strides to remedy that. Last year she started talking to another man around June and speaking about separation. I have been very in touch with myself and open to her about my feelings and we have had some very wonderful times together since November. However, our marriage was doing poorly and I became very suspicious of the two of them and her secrecy until April of this year. In April of this year I found out by going through her phone they were in love by reading a few text messages between them. She informed me that was all it was at the time and she just found out her feelings recently that month. Again early September I found they have been sleeping together since last year around June. I have been lied to and deceived by her for over year time again as I have confronted her verbally about their relationship over the past year.
Since April my wife has claimed she is now polyamorous. The benefits of her relationship with this person are high due to the business, feelings, and her current job.
I have since questioned her claim as polyamorous on many levels and we have spoken about it heavily over the past few months. Her desire to have both of us it strong, yet having an open relationship with either of us who are currently monogamous is wearing all of us down. I am well informed for myself over the past few months about polyamory and I can't fathom the possibility of us both being in her life because I am still being lied to, I have lost lots of trust for both of them, and I have been told I was hidden from this to protect me. Even after I found out several different times about details more and more, over and over, I have still been told by both of them more lies. Still my wife has not fully disclosed things to me about their relationship.
I had built myself to the point before I knew about the sexual part of the relationship to work towards being accepting of polyamory but was crushed to find out I was still being lied to. My wife has told me she wishes she never told me the truth.
I am feeling like I am in a toxic marriage with a person who really has just found someone better for her current needs. On the other hand, she tells me I am her number one priority. Am I just naïve to stay in this relationship that is continuing to go on or is there actually a chance at stable and happy road ahead? Is my wife really poly or has she just tried to justify this all because I found out?
My wife and I have been married for five years and together for 10. For the past year and a half she has been having a secret partner she has kept from me. On many levels they are involved with the possibility of a new business together, working in the same building, and talking constantly.
For a few years my wife has felt I neglected to communicate well and I have since November of last year made significant strides to remedy that. Last year she started talking to another man around June and speaking about separation. I have been very in touch with myself and open to her about my feelings and we have had some very wonderful times together since November. However, our marriage was doing poorly and I became very suspicious of the two of them and her secrecy until April of this year. In April of this year I found out by going through her phone they were in love by reading a few text messages between them. She informed me that was all it was at the time and she just found out her feelings recently that month. Again early September I found they have been sleeping together since last year around June. I have been lied to and deceived by her for over year time again as I have confronted her verbally about their relationship over the past year.
Since April my wife has claimed she is now polyamorous. The benefits of her relationship with this person are high due to the business, feelings, and her current job.
I have since questioned her claim as polyamorous on many levels and we have spoken about it heavily over the past few months. Her desire to have both of us it strong, yet having an open relationship with either of us who are currently monogamous is wearing all of us down. I am well informed for myself over the past few months about polyamory and I can't fathom the possibility of us both being in her life because I am still being lied to, I have lost lots of trust for both of them, and I have been told I was hidden from this to protect me. Even after I found out several different times about details more and more, over and over, I have still been told by both of them more lies. Still my wife has not fully disclosed things to me about their relationship.
I had built myself to the point before I knew about the sexual part of the relationship to work towards being accepting of polyamory but was crushed to find out I was still being lied to. My wife has told me she wishes she never told me the truth.
I am feeling like I am in a toxic marriage with a person who really has just found someone better for her current needs. On the other hand, she tells me I am her number one priority. Am I just naïve to stay in this relationship that is continuing to go on or is there actually a chance at stable and happy road ahead? Is my wife really poly or has she just tried to justify this all because I found out?