I've recently identified myself as polyamory

[Katlynn]

Hi,

So, a short introduction. I'm Katlynn, 20 years old female, and recently identified myself as polyamory.

It was a tough decision for me to make, as I have never really question myself about it. I didn't even know about polyamory 3 years ago. All I knew was that I have a bad tendency to fall in love with other people, whether I currently was in a relationship or not.

I know they're not just crushes, because I also had many of those, and I know they'll pass after a month or so. I'd genuinely fall in love, with another person, and still have feelings for whoever I was dating at the time.

I am also extremely committed to my partner, and I pride myself on the deep bonds I develop in my romantic relationships that few teenagers seem to care about nowadays.

So, after a lot of thinking, I decided that I'm most likely polyamory. It's been 3-4 months since then.

My currently boyfriend, who I've been dating for 6 months, knew about this. I told him as soon as I know it myself, since I did not want to go through the heartbreaks that I did with my exes because of the mere fact that I'm polyamory and they're monogamy. And he's okay with that, even though he's monogamy himself.

This is my first try at trying to actually be a polyamorist, so I really appreciate any advice that you can give, as in how to make it work, and how to start things, and what to think about.

Thank you,

 

[Bluebird]

I suggest reading the book More Than Two.

 

[SmileTexas]

Just because your boyfriend says he is okay with it, it doesn't mean there won't be friction. Be ready. You should ask him if any of your behaviors make him uncomfortable. Sleepovers, talking about or texting your other partner too much and changes in sexual habits tend to be common problems. Good luck, stay safe and use protection.

 

[kdt26417]

Hi Katlynn,

I think you are lucky and wise to become aware of polyamory (and the polyamorous nature in you) so young. It gives you much more time to learn how to make polyamory work in your life, and believe me there's a great deal to learn. Good for you for letting your boyfriend know as soon as you knew yourself ... Honesty and transparency are cornerstones of successful polyamory.

Bluebird's recommendation of "More than Two" (by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert) is excellent. "Opening Up" (by Tristan Taormino) is a good read too. And "The Ethical Slut" (by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy) has been a poly mainstay for a long time.

Moving on to state the obvious, this forum is a valuable resource as well. I encourage you to delve into the many threads we have, see what calls to you, and let us know of any questions you have. I think it's important to interact with the folks on Polyamory.com because that way you get a wide, diverse range of wisdom, perspective, and experience.

You, too, will become an indispensable part of that wisdom, perspective, and experience. I am glad you are with us.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.