Jeremy and Devin in Minnesota

J

JeremyandDevin

New member
Hey Guys,

My partner and I are way new to the whole poly lifestyle. I am a 20 year old, young professional in the Minneapolis area and my partner works in retail and the food and beverage industry. We just found a potential third boyfriend that we are both very much interested in. Anyway I just, wanted to introduce myself, and if anyone has any advise on how to have a healthy poly relationship with this new person. Please let me know. I am open to discussion and assistance to make my life the way I'd like it. Thanks!
 
Welcome to the Forums.

Welcome Jeremy & Devin. I hope you find all you desire and those you seek.

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(image is a Hello with butterflies on the ends - description for Nim)

Just Me,
Tim
 
Welcome to the group. This board is full of wonderful people that are full of insight and advice.
 
Advise

Let's start with the advice then. Im excited as well as scared as to how this relationship could go down the tubes. My partner and i ahve been together for about two years now, and the guy we have met is a bit younger than we are but only by two years. We haven't made it official with him, but he is aware of our intentions to share our love with him in a poly type of relationship. I honestly need to know, the do's and dont's on this and any advise you can do. Thanks to all of you for the warm welcome!
 
For one thing, two years is not really "a bit younger" unless you are 18 and he is 16. My husband is two years younger than I am and I consider us the same age.
 
true

I guess thats a good point. I am 20 almost 21 and my partner is 20. Our potential new partner is 18. The number thing really isnt an issue from what I can see, its maturity. This guy is pretty mature for his age but I still worry about his relationship history, he has none. He hasn't ever had a "bf" so his issue is that. lol I really don't know where I am going with this.
 
This will just be another welcome to the forums post, and a big welcome to you as we are in the same neck of the woods. :) Mpls is currently our home as well.

So welcome to the forums and I hope you find what you are looking for.
 
JeremyandDevin said:
Anyway I just, wanted to introduce myself, and if anyone has any advise on how to have a healthy poly relationship with this new person. Please let me know. I am open to discussion and assistance to make my life the way I'd like it. Thanks!
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The basic stuff is always simple: Love one another. It can be that simple. Really, it can. So I won't get unbasic just now. Who needs it? Love one another. Do so well.

Welcome!
 
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Thank me by loving one another. It's the healing balm of the world.
 
It's hard to just blast out dos and don'ts without knowing the individuals and challenges involved in any particular situation.

The one universal DO of polyamory seems to be "communicate communicate communicate". Open communication makes almost any relationship better, but in newly polyamorous relationships the communications breakdowns lead to people tending to fill in the blanks with the worst they can imagine.

So I guess that's another DO. DO communicate this to your partners: "I am going to try to assume you have good intentions and think this will all go better if you both do the same for me." And then actually do that: assume good intentions until something conclusive happens that proves bad intentions.

And I guess that leads to the one DON'T that I can think of. DON'T be in a relationship with anyone who has bad intentions.

:)
 
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