Leaf on the Wind


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So tired and crabby today. I went to bed early but apparently didn't sleep well. All I want to do is go home and recharge, but instead I have to be at work, doing nothing, because my boss hasn't given me anything to do yet. Oh and later this week starts the busy cycle again.

There's nothing quite like being bored at work when you know that you'll be insanely busy in two days... but there's nothing you can do about it right now.

I have plans tonight that I want to cancel. I can't wait for it to be 10:30 so I can crawl into bed with Guitarist. I have tomorrow off work but I so much stuff to do errand-wise that I'm booked from 8:30 am to 10:30 pm, and only the last part involves quality time with someone I care about. Sigh.


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I was supposed to visit Purr yesterday, but I ended up being sick instead, so we've rescheduled to Friday. I made the mistake of hugging my niece when I saw her on Monday. Monday night she was ghastly ill, so it wasn't exactly unexpected. I'm still not exactly feeling well this morning, but I'm going to be the only person in the office, so I'm going in. If I didn't, I'd just be pushing the mountain of work that's going to be sitting on my desk off toward Thanksgiving and other days I'd really rather not be stressed out.


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Also, holy shit: you can be poly in Fallout 4. Guitarist told me this morning that he'd heard something to that effect on Jimquisition.

Now seems like a good time to admit that my lack of blogging lately has been partially attributable to lots of sitting in front of the Xbox. Somewhere between Guitarist, Purr, NaNoWriMo, gaming, and two blogs, something has to give. For most of this month it was gaming, but now blogging is taking a turn. :cool:


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What a long day. Woke up to Guitarist being around the house because it’s his weekend. Not that I dislike that, just that it’s not my usual morning quiet alone time. It’s nice to see him, even if it me feel like I’m ‘on’ a little earlier than normal. Went to work. Worked a long time. Went to the bookstore and hammered out 2,000 words before going to my father’s birthday dinner. My older sister was down from upstate, so it was nice. I adore my nephew, even if he’s getting way too tall and is very much a teenager now.

He was super excited that I’m writing another book and wanted to know what it was about. He also wanted to know if it had a love plot. I was like, well yes, the girl that’s rescued falls in love with the captain’s daughter who rescues her. He was all, 'like lesbians?' in an incredulous but not hurtful way. I can imagine that he doesn’t read very many books with a same-sex love story. I was like, well not technically, the one girl is bisexual. And that was about the end of that conversation.

I felt like I handled it with Queer Aunt aplomb. Hopefully it doesn’t start an issue with my sister. I know she’s religious, but I don’t know if she’s of the rabidly homosexual brand of religious or one of the relatively more benign brands.

I tried to avoid the news. I couldn’t. I was depressed.

I went to Purr’s house after the family dinner, completely stuffed with red meat (which I rarely eat) and carbs (which I try to eat less often). Purr and the boys were watching Pete’s Dragon and I basically fell asleep with her older son in my lap. I think we were all asleep at one point. Anyway, the oldest is very concerned about my category in his family. He keeps asking me if I’m his mother, and if I’m not his mother, who am I. I suspect I’m going to have the “I’m a friend of your family and you can call me just Autumn or Aunt Autumn if you want” conversation with him a few more times. He’s very concerned with propriety, unlike just about any other five year old boy I’ve ever met. Unless it comes to personal space. He has no conception of personal space.

We had some semi-depressed cuddle and discussion after the boys were in bed. I’ve been in kind of a down place lately to begin with. I have no libido right now, either, which tells me that I'm suffering a bit emotionally. Anyway, we had some good discussions about her relationships with Hatter (which is on hold until he figures his shit out with his long-distance girlfriend), how Smith and Lift are doing (Lift is spending the weekend with another boyfriend, Smith is kind of suffering through), and so on. We literally just cuddled an talked for hours. I’m amazingly refreshed.

At one point she sort of hint-dropped that Smith has a crush on me. Cue Autumn’s complete lack of surprise. I’m quite crushable to a certain category of geek, one which Smith falls squarely into. Anyway, it’s not something I have to resolve now since I don’t intend to do dating again until next year at the earliest. If I decide to date someone else. I don’t even really know, I’m feeling kind of burned by the whole Marian situation. But again, I don’t have to resolve this now.

Meanwhile, my mother gave me my grandfather’s bows. The first is a 1953 Bear Kodiak with a 43# draw. It’s been strung for about 20 years, but it’s glass-backed so I guess we’ll see. The other appears to be a one-piece wood recurve that (thank goodness) hasn’t been left strung. It kind of looks like a self bow, and I’m going to have to ask my grandmother about it. It would be extremely cool if my grandfather made it. It says that it has a 40# draw.

The draws are almost certainly too heavy for me. I do strength training, but nothing really focused on my lateral muscles, and one of my rotator cuffs is still a little wonky from an injury. That said, my maternal grandfather wasn't much taller than me and I’m pretty sure that I have a large enough frame to work up to a 40# draw and I’m very excited about these bows. I’m going to have to set aside a time soon to take them to the archery place and get them checked out. You really don’t want to fuck around with something that could take your eye out… like a snapped bow limb. Thanks, but no.

I haven't bow hunted in almost 10 years so I'm going to sign up for a "beginner" archery course at the local shooting range. I need a new hobby like I need another hole in my head, but I really want to hunt with these bows. So I guess I have a new hobby.


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Brief update time!

I've been writing like crazy.

Guitarist quit his job. I don't know how that's going to affect his relationship with Purr, since he's concerned about having gas money.

Financial worry is stressful.

My body is completely wonky. I've been cramping and semi-perioding for about two weeks now. I took a pregnancy test (negative), and the next step is to see my doctor, which I'll do the week after Thanksgiving if this doesn't clear up by then. I've always been irregular, but this time is a little extreme. I'm not a happy camper.

I'm looking forward to holidays and eating delicious foods, except my mom is being unreasonable about Thanksgiving this year. We usually do our family's on Friday because her and dad usually have Thursday plans, but this year my brother is home from overseas and she unexpectedly wants to do Thursday without telling anyone but saying she did tell everyone and getting angry that everyone else made other plans.

Almost everything else is good.


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Purr came over and spent the night last night. Today, I'm too tired to effectively human. Not because we were having sexy fun times (because we weren't, this prolonged period nonsense has resolved into actual period and an utter black hole where my libido should go) but because I just couldn't sleep:

Our queen bed is not exactly large enough for three people. Guitarist is a big guy who has to sleep on his back because of sleep apnea. I can't sleep on one shoulder because of a rotator cuff injury, so I could only face inward. We're so old.

Oh my goodness, Purr and Guitarist are both space heaters. I had to stick one leg off the bed to vent heat. I was DYING.

I was a little stressed out about having someone in my room. My right leg would not stop ticking. Which meant kicking the crap out of Purr until I rolled onto my stomach and kicked the bed instead. I don't fall asleep well on my stomach. Cue 1 am before I could fall asleep.

Purr's "get boys up for school alarm" went off at 5 am. Fun fact, the boys were with their dad. Purr and Guitarist started to frisk and make out until I grumped about the "bed is for sleeping" agreement. They behaved, but at that point I was wide awake.

Guitarist got up at some point. The bed shook like a leaf in the wind.

Fell back asleep at 6 am. Kept dreaming that I was late for work and trying to shower at work. Which was a public school. In the swamp. That was getting flooded. I think at that point my overheatedness was translating into my dreams. Oh and there were gators. Btw I'm actually terrified of alligators after one ate my grandparents' neighbors' dog, so that was fun.

Alarm went off at 7.45 am and at that point I was fine with getting up. Alligator dreams can eat a bag of dicks.

So I'm so very tired today. And yet, in an amazingly good mood and full of happy. My brain is a weird and crazy thing.


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I keep contemplating whether to reach out to Marian again. Sometimes I feel like enough time had passed and sometimes I still feel very sad and the thought of being friendly seems like something I could never do. I know how I work. I know the awkward won't pass until I show myself that yes, it's okay to talk to her. I can do that without a serious mood dive.

I think after Thanksgiving, I'll send her a SUPER CASUAL hope your holiday went well thing. And see how that's received.

I'm feeling better enough to worry about getting bored and restless. I want to be dating again, except not necessarily dating but going new places and trying new things with someone who is as enthusiastic for experiences as I am.

I'd love to take Guitarist out for something, some time, but he's very rarely actually enthusiastic to do anything with me. Our conversations go something like "hey, want to go to this show" "meh, maybe."

And then we don't, because I'm a planner and the whole maybe let's play it by ear thing doesn't work for me, especially when there is little real enthusiasm in the first place. As he points out, once we go somewhere, he usually has a good time. But I've been trained out of asking by the constant lack of enthusiasm and lack of reciprocation.

Asking Purr to go out somewhere is out because not working and boys. Which is doubly frustrating because she would be a great person to go out with. She just... can't.

My friends each have their own patterns that more or less involve blowing me off. Again, lack of enthusiasm and lack of reciprocation leads to death of my interest in asking countless times. Except for Irish (my friend since sixth grade), and most of the time if I want to do something with him, I end up paying, because his alcohol habit interferes with his ability to have money for anything else.

I could do things alone, but half my enjoyment is derived from enjoying something with someone that's enjoying it too.

And then I end up thinking that all this worry is academic. I'm booked basically until January anyway. I can worry about it then. But damn it, I'm a planner! Waiting to figure something out is my least favorite plan.


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So instead of continuing to mope, I asked Purr if she and the boys would like to see the holiday lights in the zoo some Friday in December and received an enthusiastic yes. I'm feeling much less grumpy.


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About to head out to a bunch of family drama. Happy Thanksgiving!

But no really. We usually do my family Thanksgiving on Friday, which means we do Guitarist's on Thursday. This year, my mother decided that we were going to do ours on Thursday, and she thinks she told people, but my sister and I both agree that neither of us were told. Anyway, she's all pissed off that we are doing things with in-laws before going over to her house.

Guitarist told his mother that we're poly earlier this week. Apparently she took it well, in the sense of shrugging and saying that what other people do isn't really her business. However, she and Guitarist think we shouldn't inform his stepfather, who is apparently pretty homophobic. I don't really care one way or the other on that front at this point, so there's no sense in pushing it. If Guitarist is happy, I'm happy. I'm going to try not to accidentally out us or something.

Which should be easy since we're doing his side's Thanksgiving with his step-father's family this year, and apparently they're all right-wing or something. I will probably not talk much. I'm a little stressed out about it, since I'm an outspoken socially liberal queer feminist.

I wish I could see Purr today, or at least this weekend. Unfortunately, her family's Thanksgiving includes her ex-husband, with whom I do not get along because I am protective and he belittles her and treats her like shit. So, it's better that doesn't happen. Also, her friend's mother died and so she is understandably devoting this weekend to helping care for him. I understand but still am sad I won't get to see her.

Focusing on the good things, the weather is good and we haven't seen Guitarist's mom and stepdad in forever, and I will enjoy the company. I expect that my nephew will be there as well, and he's completely adorable. My brother is back from overseas so I'll get to see him too, later this afternoon. Hooray! Focusing on the good things. Focusing on the good things. Going to keep repeating that to myself.


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There ended up being very little drama yesterday, which was actually great... with the exception of my dad being an asshole and making my sister cry, but that's relatively low on the drama spectrum for two full family dinners.

I still miss Purr quite a bit.

I had a very good poly talk with Guitarist about me possibly dating again in January. Smith has asked me to dance with him some time and it's a thing I'm considering. He isn't enthused about the idea, mostly because he doesn't know Smith well and what he does know is second-hand drama through Purr. That was exactly the kind of feedback I was looking for. He's going to think on it more and get back to me.

Some of it is being more comfortable with me dating other women than other men. That seems pretty normal. He seems willing to work on it and, frankly, I'm more attracted to women generally anyway.

Some of it seems to be tied to a worry that Smith would out-kink him. Which is a thing that could happen, since Guitarist and I are largely vanilla with spanking and some light bomdage, while Smith builds dungeons and seems pre-tty kinky. I pointed out that he was assuming I'd even want a sexual relationship, and a kinky one. I don't know. I need to see people regularly to become attached enough to want to even be romantic, much less sexual, and Smith is insanely busy.

Purr seems supportive, but I'd need to have an actual conversation there as well before making any decisions. We've already talked about me dating generally, and she giggled when she confirmed that Smith has a crush on me, but I'd rather be sure.

Other issues with Guitarist were general things. Guitarist is worried about feeling left out about dating, since his financial situating is tighter than mine. I can completely understand that. It was MY first major issue when he started dating Purr.

It was a good idea to bring it up this early, though. I think it gives Guitarist time to think about issues so we can address them now. I'm not even sure I would want to date with the time and money I have available, but I know I will at some point in the future, so I don't think that any of these conversations hurt.

Anyway, time for TV and wine with Guitarist!


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A bit of brief post-holiday-weekending:

I did follow through with messaging Marian a vague "hope you had a good Thanksgiving" message and got back a "thanks, you too" message. That wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it was going to be. Now I'm just going to let that sit and be what it will be. Will she want to reinitiate contact? I don't know. Am I going to if she doesn't? I don't think so. So we'll see.

I messaged Purr earlier and haven't heard anything back. I know she's busy with her friend that's hurting, but it was a rough holiday with not getting to see her and not hearing from her kind of hurts. Not in a "she hurt my feelings" way, but in a "boy do I miss her face" way.


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Guitarist canceled our plans again tonight with about zero notification of his intent. Unless an hour counts as some kind of notification somewhere. Yesterday, my evening after work was 100% going to be my birthday pizza + a write-in with Guitarist. Now I'm sitting by myself at a restaurant, waiting for my birthday pizza. Which I'll eat by myself. But hey, so far so good on the not crying part.

You'd think after being married to him for three years I would be used to his last minute cancelations and the insincere "I'm sorry but" that comes with them. And yet, it hurts my feelings and infuriates me every time. It communicates to me that I'm not even worth the consideration of canceling in advance.

Him sitting around with puppy dog eyes until I left didn't make it alright. It isn't alright. I'm disappointed, just like I said I was when he sprung this plan change on me before I even fully got in the door from work.

Asking him not to commit unless he's sure he's actually going to do X or Y is something I've tried, but it doesn't work. Obviously. I don't like it when he maybes me, either, but it's a lot less hurtful. To be fair, I don't think he does this maliciously or even intentionally. I think he honestly intends to do something and then just doesn't want to (to the point that the not wanting to is apparently worth hurting my feelings over). But his lack of intention does not make it suck less on my end.

Things I would have done differently if he had told me BEFORE I walked in the door that he was canceling: not looked forward to it all day, not canceled my exercise plans with my workout buddy before I left work, worked out, and got something else to eat for dinner. Oh and not looked forward to it all day.

Instead of sitting around the house trying to distract myself from how pissed I am, trying not to snap at him because two wrongs do not make a right while he hovers and tries to pretend that everything is alright, trying not to cry because it feels like the worst kind of emotional blackmail and showing up somewhere with demon eyes never makes things better, I could have been working out. Ugh.

Okay, time to try to enjoy my appetizer. I refuse to let him ruin my whole night, and if there's one thing that cheers me up, it's eating.


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Today was a lot better:

I finished all of my pressing work at work.

I did some editing of my first manuscript and solved a major pacing problem.

I cooked real food for dinner.

I played Fallout.

I beta read the first part of a friend's manuscript.

Guitarist will have the bed all warm when I finally decide to go to sleep.

I'm seeing Purr tomorrow.

These are the good things that leave me in moderately happy territory, even though yesterday turned into such a bust. Hooray!


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Today, realized that poly has finally become the new normal for me. I don't think about it nearly as much or expend the same amount of emotional energy on it any more. I still talk with Guitarist about it, but not all the time. Now we just more have catching-up discussions.

Purr is where a lot of my uncertain emotional energy goes. I feel like Purr has been pulling away somewhat, lately. I know that her personal life is very stressful right now, so I'm trying not to take it personally.

Trying doesn't make the worries go away.

I worry that it's a symptom of seeing Guitarist less. She speaks about us a lot like we are a package deal and sometimes I wonder how much she sees us as 2 different relationships instead of one joint relationship that's half distant right now. Guitarist is working days and can't afford to drive as much as he used to, so I'm sensing some distance there. But it's not my relationship and not my problem to try to fix.

Also, the NRE has clearly worn off on her side. This is more of a fact than a worry. She no longer texts me all the time. I don't want to pressure her, and the intensity when it was intense was a little too much for me. But it does hurt my feelings a little that she used to text me quite frequently and now she doesn't initiate at all. She will respond if I text, but that just makes me feel like a burden.

For instance, today she hasn't expressed any excitement that I'm coming over. I'm a little bummed about that, even if it is most likely because she is in a down cycle right now.

When she does contact me, it seems to be because she's having some kind of crisis. So I feel in part like I'm being drowned in negative emotional energy and reaping less of the benefits of the positive.

But does she even have HAVE any positive emotional energy right now? I don't know, because we're barely talking, much less communicating. I suspect not, because things went poorly with Smith and Lift, and a close friend's mother died. Dear self: it's not always about you.

She does make an effort to see me, and that counts for a lot. It says that I'm still desirable (to some extent).

Should I discuss all this with her, or just let it be--this is the dilemma of my life right now. My fear, if I'm being honest with myself, is that she's moved on to the next shiny new thing. I think I'll at least bring up that I feel like she's withdrawing. The truth, whatever it may be, will at least be more concrete and deal-able than my speculations.


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Last night didn't quite go exactly as planned. Just as Purr was getting her kittens ready for bed, Smith called and said that Lift wanted to come say goodbye. He was helping her move her stuff back to Nearby City. It isn't my drama to relate in detail, but Purr and Lift ended up bonding over a pretty horrible circumstance.

When Lift showed up, Purr was in the kittens' room. Kitten 1 was fast asleep, but Kitten 2 (the two-year-old) was really fighting it. Lift went right into the bedroom, which of course riled Kitten 2 up. All three then came back out to the living room.

Purr and Lift spent some time sorting through a box of things. Purr is pagan and Lift is pagan, so they were trying to decide who some special rocks, incense burners, and things like that belonged with.

It was extremely awkward on my part. I felt like I was intruding on a very private moment, but I knew that Purr would get upset if I asked to leave. So I lurked on the couch and buried myself in my phone for a while.

After Lift left, Kitten 2 absolutely refused to sleep. I do mean tantrum, flopping on floor, hitting, refusing to be held, trying to run in and out of the bedroom, generally being a little snot refusing to sleep. There were a couple of times I wanted to strangle him. We did get to talk, though, and I received my reassurances.

Kitten 2 still wasn't sleeping when it was time for me to leave. I have to be at work "early" today because my boss, who teaches classes at a nearby law school, has invited his class over to tour our office.

Of course, I couldn't sleep.

So here I am, way more dressy than I usually get for work, on less than 6 hours of sleeping, feeling kind of bummed about the whole yesterday thing. Time to go to work. Hooray.


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I'm so tired, and it's so gray out, and all I want to do is sleep, but I have so much to do.


Hey Autumn,

Just wanted you to know that I've been reading your blog, and I've been feeling for you during your last few updates. Feeling (or perceiving) someone we love pull away is always hard.

The only thing I can offer you is the perspective of someone who has struggled with depression all his life. There are a lot of times when I feel "down" or "off". During these times I feel flooded with negativity. It flows from me in an unending stream. I think that if you live to a certain age with these feelings, you eventually find coping mechanisms. The biggest of those for me is self editing. I have learned through hard experience that no matter how much people love you, if they experience too much negativity from you, they will eventually pull away. Imagine then, if you're like that, what can you do? You can express whatever you're feeling, whenever you're feeling it, and thus drive them away, or; you can pull away as much as feels safe, and not expose them to the negativity, even though the strange behavior drives them away a bit anyway.

I don't know if that's relevant to your situation or not, but if you're experiencing the natural fade of NRE, and your partner is experiencing some depression at the same time, I could see how it might be hard. When I'm in that space, I still love my partners very much. I'm just not physically capable of expressing, or even EXPERIENCING those emotions during those times. Sometimes no matter how desperately I want to. Sooner or later, the feeling fades. My only long lasting relationships are those where the other partner can weather that. Again, not sure how much that helps, but maybe it does.

I hope things feel better soon.


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Hi! Thanks for the long-distance virtual feels, I appreciate them.

And your thoughts have led to some reflection, which is very helpful. You're right that this is 95% a depression issue. But the problem isn't just Purr, it's also me.

So I think what is happening is I'm experiencing mild depression, which leads me to feel insecure and inadequate; simultaneously, she's experiencing a fade of NRE and her own depression. There's about five million reasons why those things aren't playing well together.

It's winter. It's dark. It's cold. I'm not eating properly. I'm not sleeping properly. And I also suffer from depression (dysthemic disorder), which typically gets worse in the winter.

I never experienced NRE with Purr. It's probably not very clear from my blog, because it happened before I started blogging, but initially Guitarist was threatened by our mutual attraction. I squelched my side of that attraction, hard. I wanted to let them explore their own thing without intruding on it, so I avoided and strangled the NRE, hard.

When Purr and I started dating, the NRE I killed never came back. From my side of it, I've fallen in love with my metamour that I talked with regularly who became a good friend in a steadily growing state of affection. My side of our relationship didn't start out with that initial chemical-euphoric rush.

From her side of it, her NRE came back (or possibly continued throughout) very strong. When we started dating, there was constant texting, talking, contact, little hearts, thoughtful little notes, goodnight messages. That has tapered off now. My depressed self reads that as a reason to become insecure and feel inadequate, but my logical self needs to slap my depressed self upside the head and tell my brain to shut the fuck up because the evidence does not back that belief.

I think part of the NRE-fading is that it's just been some time and it naturally doesn't last, she has very strong NRE for Hatter, and it's hard to maintain NRE through horrible things like deaths of close friends' family and attempted suicide (not Purr, thank goodness). She is dealing with some Heavy Shit.

And to be completely honest, part of me is happy that it's tapering off for her, because the quantity and level of contact was a little overwhelming for me, and because I worried what would happen when it faded. Now I'm finding out and the answer is that she still loves me, which is in a way reassuring.

Your advice about not bringing up every freak out right away is good, though! I usually vent them here first. So a lot of what you're seeing is me trying to organize my thoughts to decide whether to have a conversation, and what about. Purr doesn't read my blog, though I've invited her to (she says it would feel weird and almost intrusive), and Guitarist reads my blog, but he usually lags about a week behind. My conversation with Purr was a lot more gentle and structured than the thoughts I poured out here. It's probably good, because you're right about negativity driving people away.

The good news is, we did get to talk about things, despite Kitten 2 basically being a little monster on our date night. We both realize we're in depressed places, and we're still committed to each other. I'm going to ask for reassurance when I need it to help break the cycle of negative-speculation/negative-self-talk a little earlier. And Purr is starting to see a counselor on Monday that I hope is going to help her get a handle on her issues.

Honestly, my weekend is going to be shitty in part BECAUSE it doesn't have any relationship stuff in it. On Saturday, I have the massive yearly board meeting for the nonprofit I volunteer for, a post-NaNoWriMo party that should be fun but that I don't want to attend because depression, and holiday tradition event with my mom. Sunday, I'm running a Deadlands: Reloaded game. I'm storytelling and not prepared for it at all. Guitarist is going to start playing, but he hasn't made a character yet, and I have a combat to organize, and I'm freaking out because I'm the geek that actually runs a few scenarios in advance, dice rolls and all, so that I have a good handle of abilities and how combat might go, and none of that's done, aaaaah.

Meanwhile, all I want to do right now is curl up in my bed, eat an entire cake, drink several comforting beers, and sleep until spring. The activity is actually good for me, because it keeps me from doing exactly that--overeating, overdrinking, sleeping too much, and moping.

Anyway. That got kind of long.
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And your thoughts have led to some reflection, which is very helpful.

I'm glad it helped.

I think part of the NRE-fading is that it's just been some time and it naturally doesn't last, she has very strong NRE for Hatter, and it's hard to maintain NRE through horrible things like deaths of close friends' family and attempted suicide (not Purr, thank goodness). She is dealing with some Heavy Shit.

This is what I'm going through with Monkey right now. She's going through so much Heavy Shit, that I am inclined to be very generous when judging her actions. I know that lots of people reading my blog think I'm overly indulgent.

And to be completely honest, part of me is happy [...] Now I'm finding out and the answer is that she still loves me, which is in a way reassuring.

That's it, right there.

I'm going to ask for reassurance when I need it to help break the cycle of negative-speculation/negative-self-talk a little earlier.


Sunday, I'm running a Deadlands: Reloaded game. I'm storytelling [...]

OMG. I don't know you, but that is SO hot! LOL Man, have all the nerdy girls been here in Poly-land all along? I was wondering where you all were!

Anyway. That got kind of long.

Thanks for sharing.


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There does seem to be a bit of cross-over between geek culture and poly. Most of the geeks I know are curious, questioning, used to being somewhat othered, and socially liberal. Maybe it has something to do with that.

My gaming group includes a core group of Irish, who I've posted about here before, the friend that I've dated and broken up with twice, and a stoner guy who still lives in his mom's basement. We've basically been playing tabletop together since sixth grade, with occasional breaks. Guitarist joins when he's not working third shift. And we have a new guy that Irish met in college, to add some flavor.

Irish is not "traditional" relationship structure material, and one of the girls that used to game with us in high school (she played a 3ed D&D gnome named Rasputin who was always trying to hit on the female NPCs) is now a queer poly mom. ... hm.