Shaya
New member
If you've never come across it, there's this concept of love languages that many swear by. Essentially, the theory is that different people like to receive different things to feel loved. For some, receiving gifts from their significant other is viewed preciously as love. For others, receiving physical touch might mean more. The other 3 commonly-discussed loved languages would be acts of service, quality time and words of affirmation.
The theory, as I understand it, is that each person may have different love languages. People are 'geared' differently towards love and we should give in love what the other person wants, rather than what we're geared towards.
I was wondering if it was more nuanced than that. My question is, for those who are polyamorous, do you find your preferred love languages shifting depending on who you're with?
My reasoning is that if I have 2 partners and the first partner is geared towards physical touch then I may not feel like that's missing from the relationship, as they would naturally give more physical touch to the point where I may not feel like I need any more. If I were monogamous with this person, I may not even identify physical touch as something I need. However, when I pick up a relationship with a second person who does not need physical touch as much as myself, then suddenly physical touch might become important and I might identify physical touch as one of my love languages. The distinction being that the love language is a sign of what you want more out of the relationship rather than something that you are 'geared' towards.
I thought a polyamorous board would be the perfect place to explore something like this. Thanks in advance for your replies! I look forward to seeing what you guys think.
The theory, as I understand it, is that each person may have different love languages. People are 'geared' differently towards love and we should give in love what the other person wants, rather than what we're geared towards.
I was wondering if it was more nuanced than that. My question is, for those who are polyamorous, do you find your preferred love languages shifting depending on who you're with?
My reasoning is that if I have 2 partners and the first partner is geared towards physical touch then I may not feel like that's missing from the relationship, as they would naturally give more physical touch to the point where I may not feel like I need any more. If I were monogamous with this person, I may not even identify physical touch as something I need. However, when I pick up a relationship with a second person who does not need physical touch as much as myself, then suddenly physical touch might become important and I might identify physical touch as one of my love languages. The distinction being that the love language is a sign of what you want more out of the relationship rather than something that you are 'geared' towards.
I thought a polyamorous board would be the perfect place to explore something like this. Thanks in advance for your replies! I look forward to seeing what you guys think.