Love Will Be the Death of Us

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Sad, but very well-written.
 

BlueShoes

New member
I found the writer massively self-indulgent.

He's at Burning Man when his wife miscarries. And stays there. Feeling his particular pain alone, and leaving his wife to do the same.

He waits until after a major financial investment to inform his wife of what was clearly an actual deal breaker in their relationship.

He justifies every act of infidelity with the attractiveness of the person he cheated with. If me and my partner agree that there will be no extracurricular kissing, those kisses don't magically not count just because they involved really sensitive, artistic, special people.

The way the writer presents polyamory as a way to address meaning in a childless marriage makes no sense, and was potentially hurtful to his wife.

The writer's wife seems very passive and absent in all this, but I notice that when she brought her baby to meet her ex, she kept her current partner nearby, but out of sight. Like a safety precaution. I wonder how she really feels about this dude, and about this article. I saw the head note that says she consented, but she clearly consented to some things that made her pretty uncomfortable, so I wonder why she consented, and if she feels safe withholding consent, or in general.
 

starlight1

Member
I found the writer massively self-indulgent.

He's at Burning Man when his wife miscarries. And stays there. Feeling his particular pain alone, and leaving his wife to do the same.

He waits until after a major financial investment to inform his wife of what was clearly an actual deal breaker in their relationship.

He justifies every act of infidelity with the attractiveness of the person he cheated with. If me and my partner agree that there will be no extracurricular kissing, those kisses don't magically not count just because they involved really sensitive, artistic, special people.

The way the writer presents polyamory as a way to address meaning in a childless marriage makes no sense, and was potentially hurtful to his wife.

The writer's wife seems very passive and absent in all this, but I notice that when she brought her baby to meet her ex, she kept her current partner nearby, but out of sight. Like a safety precaution. I wonder how she really feels about this dude, and about this article. I saw the head note that says she consented, but she clearly consented to some things that made her pretty uncomfortable, so I wonder why she consented, and if she feels safe withholding consent, or in general.

I think there may have been some truth to this, and interestingly I go to view the post and now it's deleted by the authors request. Fishy.
 

Spork

New member
The web never goes away. Though for what it's worth I think this guy is a self-indulgent ... well, there isn't a good word to put there.

http://web.archive.org/web/20160625.../love-will-be-the-death-of-us_b_10658650.html

Oh yeah? Find me more than the one tragicrafting: Hurricane Sandy page from Regretsy.com you wizard, you. ;)

(No seriously...April has, as near as I can tell, nuked almost all of the site clear to kingdom-come, I can't find any more than the one page and that makes me want to cry like a whimsicle glitter bedazzled bald eagle on the anniversary of 9/11. Help a fat jealous loser out, will ya?)

(All of that was references to Regretsy lore. I know how to spell whimsical and do not believe myself to be fat, usually jealous, or a loser. CF4L.)
 

icesong

Moderator
Staff member

Spork

New member
It says there isn't much available. WARC files, that's it. No waybackmachine, no archives. I knew that though.

I suspect that legal things happened that were then hush hushed. Like with possibly Paypal, if I had to speculate. April was pretty vocal about the evils of Paypal. If it'd just been pissed off Etsy sellers, she wouldn't have cared.

Or else someone offered her mega bucks for the site, and then nuked it.

I mean, she said she was going to go do other stuff with her career and her life, which is cool and all, but why demolish Regretsy so thoroughly, if there was not more to the story? It's very suspicious to me...

EDIT: When I read the original article a while back, about the Burning Man guy, I thought he seemed kind of selfish and insensitive. Also that he placed undue doom on "a childless couple"...like what, you only love your woman as part of your grand scheme to reproduce, or what? Jeez.
 

Shaya

New member
That was such a tragic story. Incredibly Moving. So brave of him to share and written so well with deep meaningful photographs. It pulls particularly at my heartstrings and represents my secret fear of opening my wife and I to polyamory.

Love will be the death of us.

Thank you for sharing this piece.
 
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