Make No Scents!

Helo

New member
Have you ever met someone and been around them and their personal scent just...didnt click with you? It's not that they smell bad or have problems with body odor, but their own personal scent just somehow strikes you as off or not right.

What (if anything) did that eventually end up meaning?
 

NovemberRain

New member
For me, it means there is no physical relationship. It's massively important to me.
 

YouAreHere

Active member
Saw the title of this thread and did the confused dog look thing... Nicely played. :D

I've had friends who I'd been attracted to in every other way, but their scent just made it impossible for me to be physically attracted to them any deeper than "hey, he's cute." I've read that compatibility, scent-wise is an important characteristic in attraction, and I doubt we even realize it at times, especially when it just clicks. When it doesn't click, though, at least for me, it's obvious.
 

Argo

New member
The scent of a person is very important to me.

Recently Minnie very much wanted me to spend time with her and her girlfriend. Her girlfriend and I got along great and I found her attractive in every way but one. Her scent! I knew right away that because of this, being intimate with her just wasn't going to work for me. But that's alright, because sometimes things are just simpler that way.

I love the way Ann and Minnie smell and always take a deep breath when I hold them.
 

BoringGuy

Banned
Yup. I have a friend who smells like my father. I know exactly what you're talking about.
 

Malfunktions

New member
*armpit smell* SUPERSTAR!

When I find a smell that piques my interest it instantly drives me to want to bathe in them. (I maintain my composure at least a little) It's like the defining factor between relations and attachment for me.

E smells so good I want to crawl into her sometimes.;)

But alas, I am no Jeffrey Dahlmer.
 

GalaGirl

Well-known member
Have you ever met someone and been around them and their personal scent just...didnt click with you? It's not that they smell bad or have problems with body odor, but their own personal scent just somehow strikes you as off or not right.

Yep. Smelled like... Butter? Not horrible smell. But just too weird to me somehow. We remained friends and not more.

What (if anything) did that eventually end up meaning?

Been too long since I read "Sex at Dawn" in full (the book) but I seem to recall it talked about smells. Along these excerpt lines:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sex-dawn/201005/how-the-pill-could-ruin-your-life

Galagirl
 
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opalescent

Active member
If I am attracted to someone, and they smell good to me, it doesn't matter what they do physically - work out, dig in yard, play with dogs, - they always smell good to me, even if they are a sweaty mess.

And I am with the others who noted they cannot be sexually involved with someone who does not smell good, even if otherwise attracted.
 

Helo

New member
I've been seeing a girl for a few weeks and she's pretty wonderful in most respects. I dont find her the "OMG SEXY" that I've found in partners past but I'm not sure if that's because of the scent or I'm getting put-off by the scent because of that.

Like I said, she doesn't smell bad at all. Just something about her personal scent doesn't jive with me right.
 

StudentofLife

New member
I once dated a man who for 3 years smelled like heaven to me. Then one day he smelled different. Not bad, just different. I mentioned it to him, he looked uncomfortable. Shortly afterward, he broke up with me. No idea what that means on a physical level, but my nose knew before my mind did.
 

Fiona

New member
Scent is hugely important to me in physically intimate relationships. One of current lovers is just delicious...I could lick and inhale him all day.

It's funny, I met someone not too long ago who I'd probably usually find attractive...but his scent was repellent to me. Not sweat or uncleanliness, just sort of an odd metallic scent. I couldn't even be around him very much before it really began to bother me.
 
I'm totally a scent girl too. Fly, the partner I'm most compatible and most bonded with, smells wonderful to me no matter his cleanliness/sweat level. It's comforting, it feels safe.

Moonlight and Punk both smell good to me too. I can't be physically close with someone whose skin doesn't smell right to me. It has nothing to do with soap or perfume or laundry detergent or deodorant, although all those things factor into someone's personal smell. But just because someone uses Tide doesn't mean I'll be attracted to them. It's the sum total that pulls me in.

It's funny, I hadn't thought of this in a long time, but I remember my two best guy friends in high school, and how I loved to cuddle with them because my clothes would smell like them for hours later.
 

YouAreHere

Active member
Every so often, I catch whiff of a scent that reminds me of my HS BF... this is some 25-odd years later. It's funny how under-the-radar it seems to be as a sense, but has the power to trigger memories so many years later.
 

SchrodingersCat

Active member
For me, attraction is always a whole package. I tend to become attracted to someone after spending a bit of time with them, not on first sight. So I can't say with any certainty how much scent plays a role in that, but I'm sure it does.

I will say, though, that strong cologne will turn me right off. I used to get really bad headaches from just about any fragrance. It's gotten better, fortunately, where now it just hurts my nose, except Axe. I can't be in the same room as someone who reeks of that crap. So if someone is otherwise perfect, if they smell like they fell into a vat of perfume, it's not going anywhere.

That being said, my husband was willing to be trained to stop bathing in cologne. That was when it still gave me headaches. We met at the end of the day, after it had worn off. The next morning, he put it on. I sent him outside, informing him that it gives me headaches. This repeated daily until he caved and stopped wearing it. He still forgets sometimes, but my sensitivity has decreased. It's not so bad with the higher quality stuff, but cheap cologne is way out.
 

Helo

New member
The next question then I guess is how do you tell someone? I mean how do you really sit down with someone and say "I really like you, I really like hanging out with you, you're hilarious, you make me smile, I feel happy when I'm around you...but your personal scent just doesn't click with me."

I think if someone sat down and told me that, I'd think they'd gone bananas.
 

nycindie

Active member
Why the hell would you? That is not really something you would say to someone without sounding like an insult. You say, "Something's not clicking for me," or "we're just not compatible in a way that's hard to describe." You don't have to say why - I mean, it's just common sense to be polite and have compassion.

Or buy her a nice bottle of perfume. Good stuff, not cheap crap.
 

Helo

New member
Why the hell would you? That is not really something you would say to someone without sounding like an insult. You say, "Something's not clicking for me," or "we're just not compatible in a way that's hard to describe." You don't have to say why - I mean, it's just common sense to be polite and have compassion.
Because I've always considered those to be bullshit excuses.

Or buy her a nice bottle of perfume. Good stuff, not cheap crap.
That's an idea, I like it.
 

opalescent

Active member
Because I've always considered those to be bullshit excuses.


That's an idea, I like it.

It's not bullshit to be tactful and kind. There is no reason to tell someone you smell weird to me and so I can't bang you, even if that is true. Brutal honesty is sometimes just brutal. Sometimes it is necessary. This is not one of those times. After all she can't fix her smell. (I assume she bathes? Uses deodorants?)

And for the love of all, do not buy her perfume! Some people hate perfume (like me), it makes some people sick (like many of my friends). Even if she does like perfume, that is a very, very individual choice. It sounds like you may not know her well enough to know her perfume preferences.

And even if you do know her preferences, it still smacks of giving the smelly kid in high school a stick of deodorant instead of telling him 'hey man, bath more.' That's cruel. The two situations are not equivalent. Bad hygiene is fixable. Innate smell compatability is not.

Also, layering perfume on her will not fix her 'off' smell for you. Been there, tried that. Does not work.
 

nycindie

Active member
Or buy her a nice bottle of perfume. Good stuff, not cheap crap.
That's an idea, I like it.
I wasn't really serious.

Because I've always considered those to be bullshit excuses.
Being polite and having compassion are bullshit? So you think it's always perfectly acceptable to blurt out any fucking opinion you've got without a care for a person's feelings? I am often very blunt but I always think about the impact (despite what some people believe) and whether expressing something is really worth it. Why did you ask how to say it if you don't care whether what you say is inconsiderate or not? Honestly, comments like that make me worried for society.

It's not bullshit to be tactful and kind. There is no reason to tell someone you smell weird to me and so I can't bang you, even if that is true. Brutal honesty is sometimes just brutal. Sometimes it is necessary. This is not one of those times.
Yeah, it just would be hurtful to tell someone you don't like their smell. Why do it? What would it accomplish? You just met her. You don't need to give a big explanation - just say you don't feel it's working out. That's not bullshit; it just isn't necessary to make her feel bad because you don't feel attracted to her body chemistry.
 
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