Master Thread - links to other threads worth reading

N

NeonKaos

Custodian
In order to keep the forums from getting clogged with Sticky threads, this section was created so that links can be posted to other threads which may prove useful to newcomers and to those wishing a quick reference to popular discussion topics.

Please keep posts concise. The administration reserves the right to edit, merge, and delete posts as required to maintain an easily navigable "database" of sorts.

Note: this Master Thread was first begun around 2009-2010, so some links may no longer be functional.

Stickies:

Glossary & Definitions

Personal summaries

Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness



Lifestyle Issues:

Multi-Partner Cohabitation

Poly-Dating: How to meet like-minded people

Safe Sex - Standards, Practices, Information & Resources

Coming Out

Casual Sex - Discussion

Poly or Swinging

How To Get From Single To Poly

BDsm

Monogamy Explored

Children and Polyamory

Polyamory and Asexuality

Sleeping Arrangements and Beds


Relationship Issues:

Communication Workshop

The Struggling Mono Thread

Survival guide for dating a mono

Don't Ask, Don't Tell policies

Relationships w/out prescriptions

Primary/Secondary: Merged Threads, General Discussion / Debate

Jealousy, Envy, Insecurity, Etc.

"Red Flags" - Warning Signs in Relationships

Understanding Poly and Cheating

Psychological disconnect btwn sex and emotion

Imagine Your Ideal Relationship

How Many Is Too Many?

Rules and Boundaries


Social and Ethical Issues - Discussions and Debates:

Poly Standards, Theory, and Practice

Poly Lessons We Have Learned

Mono wiring Vs. Poly wiring

Young Poly News & Resources

Marginalization of Young Polys

Sexual Ethics

Poly vs. Sluttiness


Off-Topic / Recreation:

Word Association Game

Poetry / Poems

Why do you use the online name that you use?



External Links:

HBB Flowchart

Franklin Veaux's Journal

Aphroweb essay - NRE
 
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// How polyamory has helped existing marriage
New feeling with husband


// Person cheats, is sorry, wants to change relationship to a polyamorous one
Off to a rough start


// Negotiations and re-negotiations; complex situation not going well
Being Hurt


Couple disagreeing about 'one penis policy'


// How someone felt when their significant other was going to be intimate with a guy for the first time
Whole lot of butterflies


Boyfriend disrespects husband


New to poly, dating again


If one left, I would be back to mono



Polyamory may have destroyed best relationship I've ever had.


Can a poly love a mono?


He kissed her when he said he wouldn't.


// Significant other is cheating/lying; guy is wondering, am I control freak or crazy?
I question myself sometimes.


// Complex thread-- husband wants poster to open relationship
What is it all about.


// Relationship issues while newly poly; serious jealousy problems; good example of how not to do things
Giant Step Backwards.


// Husband wants to be romantic with young woman, but not sexual; people have trouble believing/understanding this.
How do monos cope with polys?


// Woman develops feelings for lover, husband is upset
New & already have challenges.


New dad is poly curious.


// One member of poly family is not being honest with new bf
Not new to poly but could use some advice.


// Karelia's moving personal essay on what she learned in a poly relationship
what you may discover in a poly relationship.


// Close family members are horrible to Redpepper when they find out she is poly
Coming Out - Heroism.


// Thread on fear of loss
Not feeling so good


// Thinking of joining a poly family, but red flags; mom is worried.
Helping my mom handle this.


// Young woman is worried she is poly; starting mono relationship.
What is the right thing to do?


// Poster is poly; interested in a friend who is just starting a relationship with another; what is the ethical thing to do?
A quandary.


// New V having problems; discussion of terms; several long posts on the practical difficulties
Poly after many years of marriage.


// What are the needs of a relationship? Disconnect between what two people need in a relationship. Very powerful thread, well worth reading.
Who needs ya?


// Couple wants their lover to be equal in their marriage; relationship failing by trying to force it into a preconceived ideal
Help - we are losing our unicorn!


// Lying in a 'polyamorous' relationship.
Poly partner's partner doesn't know.


// Mono guy not willing to 'share' wife; she has left; both are mourning the loss of relationship; she wants him back on her terms.
I'm mono, new, need help.

// Woman having emotional relationship with old flame/bf via internet; husband trying to be understanding; bf not being honest with woman.
Is this poly or not?

Overcoming personal insecurities: trust and control.

// NRE; new pair moves too fast for wife

Moving too fast - Just little violations of boundaries.

// Unassertive young woman joins poly cluster; bf's wife has jealousy issues; serious problems
Is this typical for poly relationships?

Fear of possessiveness in mono/poly relationship.

// Cheating causes anger and hurt; wife & husband contribute to thread
Husband is now poly but still angry.

// New person in quad being excluded, not having needs met
Being left alone.

// "okay to have sex, just don't fall in love" didn't work
Living w/ unexpected poly - help.

// New quad; 3 partners into BDSM; poster feeling left out.
New relationship difficulties.

// woman dealing with severe emotions; husband not behaving fairly
Flood of feelings.

// Fiancee wants BDSM; future husband can't provide.
Kink partner confusion.

// Poly woman has health problems, wishes husband's gf would go away so he can help her more
What do you do when you change?
 
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Threads about determining if polyamory is for you, and how to discuss it

The questions raised and discussed in the threads below address how to figure out if polyamory is a good fit for you; the results of transitioning from mono to poly relationships; and how to bring up the topic with your partner. Perhaps reading some of them will be helpful for sorting it all out. :)


The many types of polyamory

Positive things I have gotten from poly as a mono

Mono/poly confusion

In mono marriage, realizing I'm poly

Have you always known if you are mono or poly?

How you changed when you opened to poly
 
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It makes me all fuzzy and giddy inside my brain when i check the who's online list and see new members studying the popular threads before they ask the same question for the fifty-thousandth-and-fifty-third time.

You know who you are! You rock!
 
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