Master Thread - links to other threads worth reading


In order to keep the forums from getting clogged with Sticky threads, this section was created so that links can be posted to other threads which may prove useful to newcomers and to those wishing a quick reference to popular discussion topics.

Please keep posts concise. The administration reserves the right to edit, merge, and delete posts as required to maintain an easily navigable "database" of sorts.


Glossary & Definitions

Personal summaries

Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

How Are You Doing? (Random Chat)

Book Recommendations

Lifestyle Issues:

Multi-Partner Cohabitation

Poly-Dating: How to meet like-minded people

Safe Sex - Standards, Practices, Information & Resources

Coming Out

Casual Sex - Discussion

Poly or Swinging

How To Get From Single To Poly


Monogamy Explored

Children and Polyamory

Polyamory and Asexuality

Sleeping Arrangements and Beds

Relationship Issues:

Communication Workshop

The Struggling Mono Thread

Survival guide for dating a mono

Don't Ask, Don't Tell policies

Relationships w/out Prescriptions

Primary/Secondary: Merged Threads, General Discussion / Debate

Jealousy, Envy, Insecurity, Etc.

"Red Flags" - Warning Signs in Relationships

Understanding Poly and Cheating

Psychological disconnect btwn sex and emotion

Imagine Your Ideal Relationship

How Many Is Too Many?

Rules and Boundaries

Social and Ethical Issues - Discussions and Debates:

Poly Standards, Theory, and Practice

Poly Lessons We Have Learned

Mono wiring Vs. Poly wiring

Young Poly News & Resources

Marginalization of Young Polys

Sexual Ethics

Poly vs. Sluttiness

Off-Topic / Recreation:

Word Association Game

Poetry / Poems

What do you do for fun & hobbies?

Why do you use the online name that you use?

External Links:

HBB Flowchart

Franklin Veaux's Journal

Loving More: New Models for Relationships

alt.polyamory FAQ

Aphroweb essay - NRE

The Polyamorous Misanthrope.
Last edited by a moderator:
// Is there a problem with poly relationships just getting bigger & bigger until everyone is sexing with everyone?
Where does it END?

// Post about how polyamory has helped existing marriage
New Feeling w/ Husband

// Person cheats. Is sorry and wants to move relationship to a polyamorous one.
Off to a rough start

// Negotiations and re-negotiations - A real life example of a complex situation that is not going well.
Being Hurt

Couple disagreeing about the 'one penis policy'.

// Story of how someone felt, when their Significant Other (SO) was going to be intimate with a guy for the first time.
Whole lot of butterflies

Boyfriend disrespects husband

New to poly, dating again.

If one left, I would be back to mono...

// Outside partner created many problems before. Woman wants to veto her but husband is in love / infatuated.
Troublemaker coming back?

Polyamory may have destroyed best relationship I've ever had.

Can a poly love a mono?

He kissed her when he said he wouldn't.

// Significant Other of fellow is cheating / lying. Guy is wondering, I'm a control freak or crazy?
I question myself sometimes.

// A complex thread that is hard to summarize. Husband wants poster to open relationship.
What is it all about.

// A woman is having relationship issues while newly poly. Serious jealousy problems. A good example of how not to do things.
Giant Step Backwards.

// Husband wants to be romantic with young woman, but not sexual. A lot of people have trouble believing / understanding this.
How do Mono's cope with poly's.

// With this couple casual sex is alright, but poster develops feeling to lover and husband is upset.
New & already have challenges.

New dad is poly curious.

// One member of poly-family is not being honest with new bf.
Not new to poly but could use some advice.

// Karelia's moving personal essay on what she learned in a poly relationship.
what you may discover in a poly relationship.

// A thread where some close family members are really horrible to RedPepper when they find she is part of a poly family.
Coming Out - Heroism.

// Thread on fear of loss.
Not feeling so good.

// Thinking of joining a poly family... but red flags. Mom is worried.
Helping my Mom handle this.

// Young woman is worried she is poly - starting mono relationship.
What is the right thing to do?

// Poster is poly - interested in a friend who is just starting a relationship w/ another. What is ethical thing to do?
A quandary.

// New V having problems. Discussion of terms, and several long posts of the practical difficulties these nice people are having.
Poly after many years of marriage.

// What are the needs of a relationship? Disconnect between what two people need in a relationship. Very powerful thread, well worth reading.
Who needs ya?

// "Compersion" is a coined word that means the opposite of jealousy.
How do you achieve compersion

// Thread talking about couple wanting their lover to be equal in their marriage. Relationship failing by trying to force it into a preconceived ideal?
Help - we are losing our unicorn!

// Another example of lying in a 'polyamorous' relationship.
Poly partner's partner doesn't know.

// Mono fellow not wiling to 'share' wife. She has left. Now both are mourning the loss of relationship, she wants him back on her terms.
I'm mono - new & need help.

// Woman is having a emotional relationship with an old flame (bf) via internet. Husband is trying to be understanding. The bf is not being honest to his wife.
Is this poly or not?

Overcoming personal insecurities: Trust & Control.

// The corner of a 'V' has New Relationship Energy (NRE) with new lover. The new pair moves too fast for wife.

Moving too fast - Just little violations of boundaries.

// Quiet, unassertive young woman has joined a poly cluster. Her b/f's wife seems to have jealousy issues. Serious problems in the dynamic.
Is this typical for poly relationships?

Fear of possessiveness in a Mono / Poly relationship.

// Cheating leaves behind a lot of anger and hurt. Both the wife & husband contribute to the thread.
Husband is now poly but still angry.

// New person in quad, she is being excluded and not having needs met.
Being left alone.

// OK to have sex - just don't fall in love. Didn't work.
Living w/ unexpected poly - help.

// A new quad. 3 partners are into BDSM and poster is feeling left out.
New relationship difficulties.

// Very short thread about a woman who is dealing with really severe emotions. Her husband is not behaving fairly.
Flood of feelings.

// Fiancee wants BDSM, but her future husband can't provide.
Kink partner confusion.

// Poly woman has bad health problems. Now wishes husband's girl friend would go away so husband can help her more.
What do you do when you change?
Last edited by a moderator:
Threads about determining if polyamory is for you, and how to discuss it

The questions raised and discussed in the threads below address how to figure out if polyamory is a good fit for you, the results of transitioning from mono to poly relationships, and how to bring up the topic with your partner. Perhaps reading some of them will be helpful for sorting it all out. :)

How do you know you're poly?

The Many Types of Polyamory

Positive things as a mono I have gotten from poly

Haven't broached the poly subject yet...

Talking about Polyamory to partners

So - how do you *know* you're poly/mono?

Mono/Poly confusion

in mono marriage, realizing I'm poly

Have you always known if you are mono or poly?

How you changed when you opened to poly?

How do I open up my discussion/relationship?
Last edited:
It makes me all fuzzy and giddy inside my brain when i check the who's online list and see new members studying the popular threads before they ask the same question for the fifty-thousandth-and-fifty-third time.

You know who you are! You rock!
Links to Other Threads Worth Re

delete if you want
This post was originally made because I was wondering why I was still unable to make threads, but I guess it just took a few minutes to update.