MFM poly vees - where you at??

LittleKetler

New member
I wish you luck in your search, @CpMmflooking! โค If you ever want to chat or need a commiserating ear, please feel free to message me! My inbox is open! I know it's tough feeling alone. ๐Ÿ’•
 

Engineer_elliot

New member
Excuse my poor attempt at being cute and funny, I'm not very good at it. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Lol!

I'm a little bit lost at the moment and I guess I'm hoping for some direction (or resources, or hugs! ๐Ÿ˜‚ [the latter would be especially nice. Haha]). I'm struggling to find anything related to the MFM side of poly and I'm now wondering if I'm simply looking up the wrong things... Do you guys and gals have any suggestions on keyword searches or maybe know of any blogs, books or FB groups connected to this style of relationship, please? I feel a bit at sea with it, at the moment. ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿงก

Thank you in advance. โค

K. xx
You might try searching under FLR, or Female Led relationship. I have know at least two strong women who wanted and found exactly that.
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
I see you're new, and have enjoyed fantasizing about the relationship shape, or form of polyamory, that is your ideal. We all have ideals and fantasies, such as, what is your ideal first date, what is your ideal vacation, what is your ideal job, etc. However, life is what happens when we are busy making other plans.

It's OK to shoot for the moon. But we have to keep our feet on the ground. Dating is hard, and finding ONE ideal partner can be difficult, much less finding 2 ideal partners. Believe me, I'm in the same boat, and I've been living poly full time for 12 years, having started experimenting with it about 20 years ago.

So far, I have found one stable poly partner. (We are FF.) I know we'll be together until death parts us. She also found a stable, mono male partner 7 years ago... after being open to one for ages, and getting lots of rejection and basically, humiliation. In my quest for a stable bf, I have had several longer-term relationships of 1-2.5 years. But for one reason or another, those relationships have ended, or transformed to platonic. I do have one long-term FWB, but it's always been fairly casual, despite its stability. He's not my ideal, but I accept him where he is and for what he does give to me, and vice versa.

I never had the ask that my hypothetical partners be mono to me, although several have been!

So, not to burst your bubble or anything, but again, it's great to have a dream... just be realistic that it can take time to realize this dream, if you ever do. But that's OK, you'll have fun along the way, and the heartbreaks of breakups make you learn and grow, and make you stronger in the long run.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Iโ€™ve been hella busy and just saw this post. Iโ€™m in a MFM V-shape with my two nesting partners, and I have an additional M partner right now who owns his own house and lives the single life. Iโ€™m also dating a woman long distance but itโ€™s kind of fizzled with just us messaging back and forth now and then.

One of my nesting partners is truly monogamous, whereas the other men I am involved with are polyamorous, but not dating anyone else at the moment. Those guys are both dealing with some heavy-duty health issues right now, not just physical, but mental as well. One is active on dating sites (more along the lines of just browsing) and the other is not. The woman I am dating is married and has other male partners as well.

I would just focus on finding polyamorous men to date, and not worry so much about the configuration. You may have this ideal in your mind, but life doesnโ€™t always work out to plan, and people are more important than the structure of your relationship.
 

Vicki82

Member
MFM cohabitating vee here... but I agree that it's putting the cart before the horse to go looking for a specific type of relationship. Why not just take life as it comes? Mine happened to lead here. I wasn't expecting or looking for it, which perhaps makes it all the more wonderful.

We are not a closed vee, though. Currently both my partners are functionally mono due to covid, but all of us are welcome to date and play as we choose, following our current family agreements on safety during a pandemic.
 
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