MMM poly relationships

T

Tonmar01

New member
Hi everyone,

I just joined this site today, so apologies if this has been posted before as I have not had a chance to scan all the posts yet.

We are a gay male couple in our 40s. We have been together for 20 years now and in a Civil Partnership for the last 5 of those.

We have always enjoyed threesomes and moresomes and love the extra fun that can be had with another person.

We have spoken in the past about having a third person in our relationship, and how would we find them, etc., etc., all the usual things, but never really done anything about it.

We have a friend (a 25-yo gay male) who we've known for about a year now. We speak every day either on the phone or online, and we are all very fond of each other. He was due to visit and stay with us over the Christmas/New Year's period, but due to family things going on, it didn't happen. But because of those family things, he is now looking to move away. He lives in [deleted] and we are in [deleted].

We have discussed a threeway relationship with him. We have all agreed that we are keen on it, that maybe this is something we could explore in a couple of years time. But because of his family problems, this has been accelerated, and we have offered him a place in our home. He has handed his notice in at work, given notice on his flat and is busy packing up his stuff ready to move to ours in the next few weeks. We are all excited about this and can't wait to start our new lives together.

We have a spare room in the house which will be his. We know that the majority of the time he will be in our bed, but that means it will give him or one of us the opportunity to have our own space, if needed.

I have seen a few threads on here, and recently saw a progamme on TV about polyamorous relationships, but all the relationships have been MFF or MFM. So I was just curious if there was anyone on this site in a MMM, or who knew of any MMM relationships. I'm not sure if I am looking for advice, support, backing or what on here, but I would welcome any comments from other members.

Cheers,
M (&T&D) xx
 
Yes, recently a member of a three-male triad joined (RfromRMC). Also, search for posts by a gentleman who goes by the username "River". If you PM him, he'll probably get an email about it and show up.
 
I'll be happy to answer any questions the best I can.

Do note that our triad started a bit differently. We really didn't have a long-term couple plus one scenario, like you're doing. It was more of a guy (M) dating two guys (R and C) off and on simultaneously, and then bringing everyone together as a group. We've now been together just over two years. Nonetheless, I totally understand what you mean about seeing lots of info about MMF or MFF triads, but not much about MMM triads.

If you have any specific questions, let me know. In the meantime, I highly recommend this article "Tips for Triads":

http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/2010/03/14/tips-and-tricks-for-triads/

It has helped me in many many ways to navigate this experience. :cool:
 
Welcome to the forum. I know you are looking for specific people to understand your situation, but just so you know, I doubt that there will be huge differences in terms of relationship dynamic. The foundation of polyamorous relationship dynamics is bound to be the same, or at least similar. (Of course, I could be full of shit, and so be it. :p)

I would love to hear your story. I am willing to help, share and hear your thoughts, as well, in terms of other people's situations, if you are up to it, that is.
 
Tonmar01 said:
Many thanks for your reply, I will have a looks at the link now. Cheers.
Click to expand...

Sounds good.

I reread your thread and one thing comes to mind. You mention you're prepared to have him move in. But have you first actually had dates with him?

Not just as a friend, but you know, romantic dinner dates, that kinda stuff. Make sure it's actually love and not just lust, you know? That would be my main recommendation so far. Gotta make sure everyone's falling in love with each other, or at least starting that process.

Also, I'm not just talking about dating all three of you together. Pair him up with each of the two of you on one-on-one dates. To this day, the biggest weakness in our triad is that I haven't spent nearly as much quality time with C as I have with M, and I am still trying to put effort into that connection. As the article I mentioned says in one paragraph "Invest in every pair". Definitely a spot-on piece of advice there. :)
 
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