It's just what I want. I don't feel that I neatly fill into either the poly or swinger box, or that I should have to; I am somewhere in-between. I only want a committed, loving relationship with my husband. I want a respectful, affectionate, romantic, sexual relationship with one or more other men, that will always be secondary to my relationship with my husband (with men who are completely happy to be in this position). I don't believe that I'm compromising what I really want - to be fully poly - out of deference to my husband's feelings; I think given absolute freedom of any consideration for his feelings, it's what I'd choose.You said your not seeking another love relationship. Most poly people are the opposite I'd say you're somewhere between swinging and poly. May I ask why...is it this something you want because your afraid of what might happen or is this something your husband want and will help him with his transition.
That's exactly where he is, and bless him, he's moving relatively quickly, and with a determination that he can get through it and that it will ultimately be OK and that we will find a new normal.dingedheart said:Has he gone through the mourning phase yet. That's a touchy phase I'd trend very lightly during that time.
No, because it really doesn't seem relevant. Our marriage will either survive or it won't. If we find out that we're unlikely to survive, how does knowing that help us? Not going on this journey isn't an option; the only option is to go through it the very best way that we can, with the best advice and the most compassion and love and patience and generosity that we can.dingedheart said:Have you asked the therapist what the success rate of the mono poly transition because around here it seems rather small. Seems like a high percent of poly bombed flat out don't make it. There also seems to be a trend of cheaters using poly as cover or soft transition . So of the survivors there seems to be a percentage who think they don't have options and or put up with it til the kids are gone. The cuckolds love it ....and then there's the small remainder mono's who are happy with poly spouses / partners. That being said are several people here who've done it so it might be a tall mountain but not impossible one to climb.