My writings


New member
So I've been an author since I could type (I wrote my first book at age 7 (an unofficial adaptation of the movie Star Wars (22 pages: illustrated))). And I write a LOT. A lot lot.

I have been polyamorous for almost 6 years and I was in a relationship with a polyamorous woman for more than a year before that. So in the last five years my writing has intersected with polyamory a LOT.

So as near as I can tell it's okay for me to post my writings. I tried to ask and got no response. If admins decide they are stealth spam or need to be deleted for whatever reason then no ruffled feathers here.

Anyway, I wrote these two books a few years back. Easily the best books I have written. They are fiction. The backstory is basically: 50 years in the future the world totally sucks because nobody has done anything about all of the problems we see today and they just get worse and worse. The world is even more overrun by greedy corporations and the ecosystem is in the crapper and the media brainwashes everyone to believe that this is all well and fine so very few people are objecting.

Some people, however, object very strenuously. And among those people doing the objecting there is a subculture of polyamory. The books are definitely more about political things and not so much about polyamory, but there are some really interesting characters that have some really interesting intersections with the themes of polyamory and monogamy and I wanted to post three excerpts about three such characters.
Janice is basically a character who has been polyamorous but is especially attached to polyamory. When she meets Jerod, an extremely devout Catholic and falls for him, she agrees to marry him and become monogamous, but also wants him to understand who she is...

Janice Straub [01]

Janice and Jerod lay on a hammock under a shady tree in the French countryside. Janice had finally managed to convey the fine art of massaging the stress out of a woman's back without asking for permission to Jerod and he was a slow but determined student.

Even though he was right behind her he had 3ded her on his i2 so that his face appeared in front of her in order for her to still be able to read his lips as he spoke. It was a neat trick that they had discovered so that they could spend lazy afternoons like this with him learning to massage her properly. As he studied her back with his fingers she was telling him the story of traveling to Massachusetts with Randy Savoy. She missed him tremendously and hoped that he was okay. They had recieved reports that Cambridge had come under attack and that was his last known location.

She told Jerod about how scary the voyage to France was, traveling alone, with dangerous vibrations all around. And then the staging areas were a very terrifying place for a young black woman to be alone, but many people in the staging area were very kind and she had made it into France quite quickly and easily. And then France had been so wonderful to her. The French had taught her how to speak with her mouth so flawlessly that people could no longer even tell she was deaf unless she told them. French and English.

And then France had shown her even more things that she'd never imagined existed. UUtopius had been a wonderous hidden society full of the greatest people she'd ever known, but France was a whole country. She could travel and get to know the people and places. In Paris she had met Senator Bove and he had such great ideas about how the world, and even France, could be better. He had invited her to come stay here and she had never left. And all of the people that lived out here in the countryside were so wonderful to her. Their small Catholic church was filled with people who were so caring and compassionate and determined to do the Lord's work. She didn't think that Jerod needed to build any secret society here, she felt that he could just integrate himself into the public society that already existed. She felt that he had a lot to offer the people of this region.

Jerod could not believe that she had agreed to marry him and she seemed to need to reassure him at least once every few hours that she had said yes. She was worried that there were still things that he needed to understand that needed to be communicated to him and so she began to explain them.

"Jerod. I know you don't seem to think much of the UUtopians..."

"No, I think they're fine people," he tried to interrupt, but as a deaf person it was her prerogative to pretend that she hadn't been watching the i2 and hadn't seen his lips moving. She continued on, speaking over him, if he tried to interject.

"but they are the family that I feel most at home with. I love them all so much. And I just have to say that I have sensed in you an animosity against polyamorous people. And I am a polyamorous person. At UUtopius the lines are a lot more blurry as to what is right and wrong. When I was young, my first two best friends were Selena Juarez and Astasha Yun. We were such great friends; completely inseperable. And by the time we were all seventeen we were lovers, the three of us. I miss Selena and Astasha so much, I can't even describe it and I will always, always love them. And as Astasha began dating Danny Fire she kind of, well... shared him with us. And I have come to love him too. And I will always love him. And I had one other boyfriend at UUtopius, who I hope is still alive, and I will always love him too. And so these are things you should know about me before we get married. I have no problem not having sex with any of those people any more, that isn't really going to bother me. But you should know that if I ever see any of those people again, we will be in love. They will know what it is like to make love to me, and I them, and they will be in love with me still, and I them, and even with all of our clothes on we are still going to be very much in love, and it will be quite obvious, and you are going to have to be okay with that if you intend to be my husband for very long."

Jerod simply replied "I know," and continued to massage her back. She couldn't tell if he was really as okay with it as he seemed, but she loved him and wanted to believe that he was okay with it.
Isn't that the book I'm in? :D

Seriously, for everyone else- his writings rock. Challenging and engaging.
Hotcha is a global superstar who had led a very sheltered life (clouded by substance abuse). She discovered the resistance movement and polyamory at the same time and jumped into both with joyous abandon. She has for the most part been very happy, but now finds herself suddenly sad.

(her given name is Giselle so sometimes Giselle and Hotcha are used interchangeably)


Hotcha [16]

Hotcha was not always a happy person. She was used to self-doubts and despondency washing over her and tossing her all about. She had been happy for quite a while, but now she was back in the familiar territory known as sad. Last night she was so happy. It didn't feel like much had changed. But everything had changed. Happy had changed to sad.

Yesterday had been a gorgous day with bright blue skies and a crystal clear night. This morning was chilly and the sky was completely gray. It was going to rain. The skies were going to open up with that cold and miserable kind of rain.

Last night she was so happy in love with Jean Bove. They had made love. It was nice. But she had signed her life away, and she wanted... she needed to change her mind. She had explained polyamory to Jean. He didn't seem very freaked out about it, but he didn't think it was for him. He was a monogamous minded man. He had asked her to be monogamous for him. She didn't take much time to think about it. Janice seemed happy being monogamous with Jerod. The whole world seemed to think that monogamy was the right way to be, except some of the UUtopians. Mostly the UUtopians she was in love with. Hotcha could remember when Danny Fire first told her about Janice and how much he loved her. Now Janice was fine restricting her sexuality to only Jerod. Janice was, but Giselle was not. She looked over at Jean sleeping naked on the bed. She wanted to shake him and wake him up and tell him she changed her mind. She knew that if she ever saw Danny or Astasha or Jenna again she would throw her arms around them and tell them how much she loved them and then she would want to be with them. She would want to love them without limits or artificial barriers. It would not mean that she loved Jean any less. Why were people so uptight about nudity, relationships and intimacy? Why didn't everyone just want to love everyone? Wasn't that natural?

But that was just the tip of the iceberg in terms of what was preying on her mind. The real dark cloud, the true heaviness that weighed on her mind, was the state of the world. She had rolled out of bed to check the i2 in the nude that morning as she usually did, and this morning the state of the world had just gotten to be too much for her. She felt sadness about all the war going on and the people shooting one another with guns, but more than that, she felt...


She felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Unemployeds were starving all over the world. DarqueOps was causing people pain and giving them lies to believe in that were causing even more pain. She could have just let Danny Fire kill Sharon Shafer. He could have just killed her quickly. Giselle could have just looked the other way and let that one bad person die and then maybe all of these other people would be alive. People kept praising her and saying she was bringing about the revolution, but the revolution was killing lots of people. Maybe it could have all been avoided. Maybe she would still be with Danny Fire and Astasha and Jenna now and people wouldn't be starving to death and killing each other.

Giselle began to sob quietly. And then she began to sob loudly. She had lost control and was drowning in guilt and pain and uncertainty about the future. She tried to cry more quietly so that she wouldn't wake Jean up, but then she also wished Jean would get up so that she would have someone to talk to.

She felt his warm hand on her cold shoulder. His warmth washed over her as he wraped her in his warm blanket and kissed the top of her head. Her short black hair was just starting to get long enough that it could curl a little bit. He was fond of complimenting her on it lately.

He wrapped himself around her and asked her to share with him what was wrong and she told him about what was going on in the world and how it was her fault. She told him the whole story of her trip to Dallas to kill Sharon Shafer and how she and Jenna Sanchez had prevented it. And now everyone was dying. Or starving. And she just couldn't stand it anymore.

Jean listened to her speak for a very long time and listened carefully to all she had to say. "Giselle," he said, in his warm gravely morning voice. "It would be nice if we could flip a switch and have the revolution be finished with the outcome that we want. It would be nice if we could put the seeds on the ground and have the vegetables that we'd like ready to eat in a few minutes. But God didn't create the world to work that way. If you can suffer the work to care for the vegetable then, and only then, can you eat the vegetables. And so too with revolution. Every day, more and more people are thinking about what life would be like if people cared more about one another and spent more time talking to one another and listening to one another. You are such a big part of that Giselle."

"But they're following around and undoing it all every time we do anything. Have you seen North American tv lately Jean? It's like some kind of moronic, Christian, soft-porn bazar. And the tabliod tv has all of this stuff about me being named Burika Killgore. Is that even anybody's real last name? They're saying I'm some homocidal, lesbian, escaped-convict. Do I look like a murderer? I'm nice damn it! And the only prison I escaped from was theirs. It isn't fair. We finally find a way to reach the people and they just cover it all up with distractions and make up lies and people believe them!"

"No. Not everyone is being distracted. You have reached people who will not go back. We just have to keep holding the truth up to each of their lies in turn. The truth is stronger than lies. Lies require maintenance, while the truth just dances merrily along on it's own. If you look closely, and look everywhere and not just in North America, you will see that the people are responding. People are responding because they love you. Even when you just sang a song about a burger, people always knew there was something special about you, something worthy of love and affection just in the way you carry yourself. Their fake Hotcha doesn't have that. That new young Starla one, she has a sadness about her that you can sense even through her painted on smile."

"And, whatever happened in Dallas," he continued. "You did what you did because you thought it was the best thing to do. And you really have no reason to believe that you weren't right. Who knows whether everything happens for a reason or not, but you need to give the world a chance. You need to keep doing what you're doing and see it through because right now the world is trying very hard to become something better than what it has been before. It is looking to people like you for guidance, and you have been giving them wonderful guidance so far because it just comes naturally to you. Every day we get smarter, we gain experience, more people join our cause. What we have to offer people is an unshackling of their hopes and dreams. That's better than anything the 1WG has to offer them Giselle, believe me."

Giselle turned around and kissed him. He seemed like such a wise person and she was already madly in love with him. They kissed passionately and ended up on the floor. Giselle reached up for some pillows from the bed to put under them and then they made sweet morning love. But she could not help herself. While she made love to Jean, she kept imagining what it would be like if Jenna and Randy and Astasha and Danny were there with them and they were all making love together.
Randy Savoy is a VERY polyamorous bisexual male who grew up in the resistance.


Randy Savoy [08]

Jerod Brannigan had done a good thing for his family. Most laboring class housing was very small no matter how many children you had. Every once in a while an exception would be made for laborers with children. Usually it would be dual income laboring households with at least one child who would qualify for this exception. Those last couple days of UUtopius were very frantic with people all moving out and making plans and saying rushed goodbyes. But Jerod Brannigan had taken his time to get every new identity as perfect as he could get it. The jobs and the house he had found for "the Sallays" in a mostly unemployeds neighborhood was just perfect for what they needed.

Randy's parents had a bedroom of their own, and one for his sister Crystal. Their sudden arrival had forced a rearranging and Crystal had gone to sleep with her parents so that Randy and Jenna could have her room and John Lamas was going to sleep downstairs in the living room --which unfortunately meant the whole house was going to have to be subject to hearing the tv all night long.

Randy was watching Jenna sleep on Crystal's tiny little bed and wondering how he was going to fit himself onto the bed as well. Jenna was exhausted and had fallen straight away to sleep. Randy's family was probably asleep by now or headed in that direction. But Randy was wide awake. He was studying Jenna as she slept. They had been appart for so long that he didn't want to let her out of his sight.

Randy heard the television switch off and wondered if John had decided to sleep on the stairs or in the kitchen. Sounded more like John was just coming upstairs for something.

"Hey do you guys have an extra pillow I could put over my head or someth... oh. I didn't realize she was asleep already."

Randy continued staring at Jenna for a bit. He got up and turned around and John was staring at Jenna in much the same way.

"She's beautiful isn't she."

"No," John replied absently.

Randy looked puzzled. "Well I think she is."

"Oh! No, I mean she is! But she's yours. She's very much in love with you Mr. Savoy. And so I try not to think about how beautiful... I Just do my job: help her find you and try to make sure both of you are safe."

Randy stood there looking at him skeptically. John tried to change the subject. "You sure do have a beautiful family. You're very lucky."

Randy smiled and invited a very nervous John Lamas down to the kitchen to talk. He grabbed the couch cushions and placed them at the back of the kitchen. As he suspected, the tv turned off again once they reached the back of the kitchen. He asked John whether he might not mind sleeping back there which would provide him with more peace and quiet and John agreed. Randy got a coca-cola orange juice out of the fridge and split it with him, and began to talk.

"Tell me about your family John. Where are you from?"

"I'm from Washington State. I don't have any family other than Boeing any more. My father died serving in Holy War II at the very beginning of it. And then, from what I understand, my mother was killed at the end of it by a vigilante squad for being an Athiest and having had an abortion when she was younger. I was raised by my aunt who works for Boeing. She got me a job in the Boeing PCA and here I am."

"Do you miss having a family? When you see other families? Like this one?"

"I don't know. Why are you asking all this? What are you getting at?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to raise a sensitive subject, it's just that I think there's a lot of room in this family."


"You're in love with Jenna aren't you?"

"NO! I've only just met her!"

"I only just met her and I'm in love with her. We've known each other for less than five months. And out of that time we've spent less than two weeks of it together. It doesn't take very long to realize how special she is."

"But she's already in love with you. She's going to have your baby and everything."

"In UUtopius, where I grew up, there were a lot of people that were polyamorous. I became one of them. It pretty much means that I believe you can love more than one person. On the space station you didn't ever notice Jenna was in love with Hotcha?"

"Well, their relationship seemed a little strange maybe. But I never saw anything they did in private."

"Well that's a shame. But anyway, Jenna's love for Hotcha doesn't mean that Jenna loves me any less."

"Yeah but, Ms. Cruz is a woman. Would you honestly be okay with Jenna getting it on with another guy?"

"Well, first of all, I don't view Jenna as being mine to control. I don't see her sexuality as anything she needs to seek my permission about. But the important thing is that I want Jenna to be free to fall in love with anyone that would benefit her life. It's obvious, from everything that happened back in Cambridge, that you care for her very much. I'm not trying to pressure you to do anything you're uncomfortable with. I'm just letting you know that if you really have strong feelings for her, that's it's probably okay to let her know that."

"Well how does she feel about it?"

"I'm not exactly sure. Like I said. We've spent less than two weeks together. There are a lot of things we haven't fully talked about yet. But if you're really as fond of her as all that, I don't think you should just brood about it. You should tell people when you have feelings for them. It makes them and you feel better."
Ceoli -=- Well, one of the characters does have a grandmother with the exact same last name you have (and happens to have taught her about the joys of music and such).


So um, those are some really long excerpts from some fairly long books, but if anyone gets any time to wade into any of that, please keep in mind that I love feedback.
Once upon a time I was a very monogamous minded man who was wildly in love with a polyamorous woman who was in love with a polyamorous man in another city and preparing to move far away to be with him. I wrote this alegory (as a children's book (the only children's book I've ever written)) to kind of capture my feelings.

The number of arms thing was aligorical for polyamorists and the things with arms on their backs symbolized people who appeared monogamous but were infedelitous. At the time I was feeling like the last monogamous person on Earth.


by Alex Mead

This is Sigmund (picture)


Sigmund lives on a world far away. It is called Harmonica.
There are lots of other things similar to Sigmund on Harmonica
but in at least one way Sigmund is kind of different. Sigmund
was born with only one arm.


On Harmonica most things are borm with at least two arms and
some with many more.


Sigmund's arm is on the front. Most of the other things have
an arm on the front, but they also have an arm or two on the back.


All of the things on Harmonica enjoy using their arms to pick
up things and play music and wave at their friends. Most of the
other things get stuff done much faster than Sigmund since he only
has one arm and can usually only do one thing at a time.


But Sigmund has learned how to concentrate on doing a good job
and with practice he became good at a number of things. The other
things liked to have Sigmund around because he was very entertaining
and pretty smart too.


Still Sigmund looked everywhere he went for another thing with only
one arm. He wanted someone to talk to about what it was like to only
have one arm. He wanted someone that did things as slowly as he did
but took their time to do things well.


Sigmund had friends, but they didn't understand him very well. They
were always asking him how he could get by with only one arm. Sigmund
was very happy to only have one arm, it was a part of what made him who
he was but he got tired of people asking him about it over and over again.


He looked around and looked around and kept looking around and all
of the other things had at least two arms. Everywhere he went, when he
would meet new things he would see their one arm on the front and he
would get his hopes up. He would talk to them for a while and have a
fun chat and then they would turn to walk away and reveal the arms on
their back.


Sigmund never wanted to be the first to turn and walk away and show
a stranger his blank back with no more arms. He knew they would run
after him and ask him about it and make a big deal out of it.


He began to think that no one would ever understand him completely.


One day he was out walking on Harmonica and he saw the most beatiful
thing. She had arms all over. There were arms on her front and her
sides and back and everything.


To Sigmund's surprise she came right over and talked to him.
Her name was Septida. She seemed not to even notice about arms even
though she had so many. She invited Sigmund to join her as she walked
around picking up things and playing music at the same time.


Even though she had so many arms, she didn't rush to do things. She
appreciated the way Sigmund took his time and put care into what he did.
Sigmund figured she had to be the most beatuful thing in every way.


Sigmund stopped looking for another one-armed thing. He felt like
even though Septida had so many arms, she really did understand him.
She fully appreciated him and his one arm and everything about him.


They would hold hands all the time even though it meant Sigmund could
do nothing else the whole time they were holding hands.


Sigmund was very happy.


One day Septida introduced Sigmund to her friend Hamlich. Hamlich
had even more arms than Septida and he liked to pick up things very
fast and play lots of music and wave at lots of other things. Watching
Hamlich and all of his arms made Sigmund even more sad than before.


Septida had known Hamlich for a long time. He lived far away and
Septida wanted to go far away to be with him but she needed to find a
smooth pink stone and a blue flower with exactly 9 petals before she
could go that far away. Both of those things were very hard to find
and so Septida was sad.


Most things on Harmonica picked up so many things that they had a hard
time remembering what they had picked up and where they had put it down.
A smooth pink stone was something you were likely to pick up once or
twice a year and a blue flower with exactly 9 petals was probably around
somewhere. Sigmund was pretty sure he had remembered seeing one.


When Hamlich went back home Sigmund and Septida went back to spending
their time picking up things but in particular they were hoping for
the smooth pink stone and the unique blue flower. Septida kept finding
smooth stones that weren't pink or pink stones that weren't smooth.


Sigmund told her about how their search reminded him of the times he
used to look for another one-armed thing and lots of things would have
one arm on the front but then when he looked closer they had more arms
on the back.


Septida understood. She held his hand and squeezed it and told him
of some one-armed things she had met in her life. That made Sigmund feel
better to know that they were out there somewhere.


Sigmund and Septida couldn't be together every day. A lot of the
time Septida had to go and play music with the other things she knew
or pick up stuff with other things. Sometimes she had to go spend
time with her mom.


One day when Septida was off doing something Sigmund saw a smooth
blue stone and it reminded him of exactly where he had seen a smooth
pink stone that was exatcly the same shape. It took him a couple days
to get back to where he had placed the stone but when he got there he
was glad to find that no one had moved it.


When Sigmund got back Septida was so glad to see him. They had not
seen one another in several days. She smiled at him and rubbed his
face with several of her arms. She reached out to hold his hand and
when she grasped his hand she felt something inside of it. She looked
and couldn't believe her eyes when she saw the smooth pink stone. She
had been starting to feel like she would never be able to go off to
be with Hamlich but now she suddenly felt like she was half way there.


Septida and Sigmund had a new enthusiasm as they looked for the rare
blue flower. She kept her smooth pink stone with her at all times in
a hand right up front and never let it out of her sight.


Sigmund searched very hard and asked everyone he knew that had an interest
in flowers or blue things. He was sad that Septida was going to leave and
and they would not spend their days talking and picking up things or playing
music any more. He knew that he was going to miss her terribly, but he could
also see how happy she was going to be with Hamlich. He could hold all of
her hands at once and play the music while they danced.


They searched and searched and searched. They found blue flowers with
6 petals and 7 petals and even 8 petals sometimes but never 9. Sometimes
they would run across someone who thought they knew where one was but
when they got there they would find it actually had 8 petals. One time
they walked a whole day to get to a place where a thing was SURE he'd
seen a 9 petal blue flower but when they got there it had 10. 10! Ach!


One day Sigmund had an idea about someone who might know more about where
to find the flower. Septida couldn't go. She had to go help her mom. Sigmund
got some good advice from his friend and set out to find the thing that knew
about people who knew about flowers.


This thing was a wild four-armed thing that claimed to know a thing that
knew about blue flowers especially, but he refused to help Sigmund unless
Sigmund could find a yellow ball. Sigmund knew exactly where he had left
a yellow ball and so he ran as fast as he could to go get it. When he
got to where he'd left it it wasn't there any more. He looked around and
saw a little thing playing with it.


Sigmund explained his situation to the little thing and the little thing
was happy to give sigmund the yellow ball. She had other balls in her other
hands and she didn't really need the yellow one.


Sigmund ran back to the wild four-armed thing and offered the yellow ball
and the wild thing told him of a place deep in the forrest where there was
a flower thing who knew more about flowers than any other thing he knew.
He even drew Sigmund a map.
Last edited:



Sigmund followed the map very carefully for several days. He wandered
deeper and deeper into the forrest until he had almost come out the other
side. He found the little hut that was on the map and inside of the
dark hut he found the thing that knew all about blue flowers. She was a
very nice thing and very happy to help anyone who was interested in blue
flowers AND she knew exactly where a blue flower with 9 petals was. She
told Sigmund where to find it and he thanked her and ran off at top speed
to fo find it.


Out of breath he arived at the flower. He counted the petals and then
he counted them again in disbelief. There were exactly nine petals. He
picked up the flower and started on the long, long journey home.


As he got closer to home he looked at the flower and thought about how
happy it was going to make Septida. Then he thought about how sad it
was going to make him. As soon as he presented her with the flower she
would be leaving right away. For a moment he thought about how he had
done much more than he had to just by finding her the shiny pink stone.
He could hide the flower and no one would ever know.


He was ashamed of himself for even thinking about that. Septida had
never been anything but wonderful to him. In his hand he held the key
to her happiness and all he needed to do was give it to her.


So that's exactly what he did.


Septida was so happy. She told Sigmund that she would never forget him
and how wonderful he had been to her. With her smooth pink stone in one
hand and her rare blue flower in the other hand she took off right away
to be with Hamlich.


Sigmund left also. He did not want to talk to any of his friends or
play any of his music. He just wanted to wander Harmonica and find some
place far away where he was not known.


Even in the new places he went to people were very impressed with Sigmund.
Many things had never even heard of a one-armed thing and they were very
impressed with the careful and skillful way he went about doing things.
Some days he felt like making lots of new friends. Other days he felt like
wandering around by himself and being alone with his thoughts.


One day while wandering alone he thought the places around him seemed
familiar. He was far from home but he was sure that he'd been at this
same spot before. He thought about it. He looked around. He thought
about it some more and then he realized why it was familiar. It was
very near to the forest with the hut where the flower thing lived.


Since he was nearby he figured he would drop in and pay her a visit.
He would tell her how it went with the flower and thank her once more
for being so helpful. She was very glad to see him again.


Sigmund admired her very long list that she kept along the black wall
of the locations of all of the blue flowers that she knew about. Sigmund
had come across a great many blue flowers while looking for one with 9
petals so he took some time and wrote down a list of where he had seen


She was so grateful to Sigmund for the list. She put it in a safe
place and then went to cross the 9 petaled flower off the list on the
back wall. When she turned around she had no arms on her back. None!
Sigmund smiled and found a chair and prepared to stay a while to get
to know her better and to have her know him.



The End