New but a long time coming


New member
**Update: Oops! Sorry guys, this should totally be in Introductions!! Please feel free to move me!**

Hi Everyone,

I've never joined a forum so quickly. I found you this morning :). I'm going to describe my story, because golly, someone should hear the whole thing. I'll try to be concise.

I am 22, turning 23 next week. I've considered myself bi since the end of high school, and at that point the only person that officially new was my best friend, and who over looked close enough at my myspace profile to see what boxes I checked. I had an incredibly flirty relationship with a few girls, but I was never comfortable with myself to go further. I also met my husband my senior year of college.

Fast forward: I've been married to my high school sweetheart for a couple months officially, but we've been together 5 years (living together for 4). I've been talking about wanting to explore a female relationship with DH for at least 4 years, though I think he's always known I'm bi.

In the past 2 years, I've told close friends and my sister. In the past year, I've told my (controlling) parents that if I wasn't with DH, I'd be open to having a relationship with a girl. They seemed cautiously okay with it, but we were speaking in the hypothetical. That's probably as far as I'll go with them.

Also in the past two years, I became smitten with a girl friend of mine. Let's call her M. M was confident, giving, and seemed interested in me. Now, though, I'm going to keep her as a friend. I've been making moves for over a year now and I'm only getting the run around. I'm taking it as a kind and subtle no.

In the past 6 months, I've started letting friends of mine know I'm
"available" - and asked a couple for their support in all of this craziness. Cuz it does get messy at times, even when just talking hypothetical. Because sometimes I feel so self conscious about all this. (all of these forum posts have helped that immensely).

The past few weeks, I reconnected with a girl ("A" in case of future posts) that I got REALLY close to in high school. I didnt even know for sure if she was bi/interested. Response was very favorable....but...She started dating someone exclusively a couple weeks before that :/. But I told her I was available, and we're still talking/flirting (electronically) like mad. We'll see how it goes when she comes back into town in a few weeks. I'm not going to try to take her away from her bf, but I brought up the V concept I'm working with, with her, to see if it's something she wants to look into. No reason she can't have both ;).

For now, a Vee is what's going to work for me. And only male/female + me (female). Eventually, and with the right people, I think I'll be open to letting DH in on the fun, but it has to be right. Right now, I know I feel a bit empty in a way DH can't help. Boundaries: always be there for each other, no secrets - ever, he has a general veto power that can be overridden if I feel 100% necessary, communicate! when either is feeling lonely or left out, and we play it by ear.

It's a long time coming to get here - years of what ifs - and now I'm in a place of ...ready.

Hi Everyone, and thanks for your time.
Last edited: