New to Poly... Sorta

newcrew

New member
So, I grew up in a community of very interesting and diverse people. Many artists and lots of open relationships etc. It's no surprise I'm smack in the middle again as an adult.

I am married and we are open, and the one man I have managed to somehow develop a relationship with is older. A lot older. He's also married. When we started kissing he asked if I was in an open relationship. We sort of hide it but not really. The other night at a party we were clearly kissing in front of his wife. My husband is actually friends with him so it's sort of...silly that this older intelligent man asked me if we were open.

I'm open for this older man though and that's it. I want this to work before I ever open up to anyone else.

The thing is we have gotten closer over the last year and I'm half his age so sometimes I feel like I am being inappropriate. It's kind of fun but also nerve wracking. I sent him a message about my dream (he told me about his dream a few months ago so he was first to share dream stories lol) today I sent it all at once when I was in a good mood. "You were in my dream and this and that and your penis was hard" and I"m not sure...he usually gets back to me quick. Maybe he is at a movie...or just partied out. He is old lol. But so attractive.

Anyway, I'm a musician and he likes music and it all inspires me and I don't want to lose what we have.

��
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Hi newcrew,

I feel that age doesn't much matter, it sounds like you have a great relationship with this older gentleman and that's what's important. I'm sure he will get back to you soon. Keep in touch with him. At worst, maybe he's a little embarrassed. But don't let that discourage you. Supercharge your emotions!

I'm hoping for you for the very best ... Keep us posted.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 

newcrew

New member
Update

He texted that it made him happy that he appeared in my dream with an erection and if dreams were real we would want for not.

I am seeing him soon but we are always partying. It has its benefits and its setbacks.

I love my husband too but his back issues and stuff get in our way sometimes. It would be nice to have someone else that I actual fall for to build love and trust with. It would make us stronger.

It's taken a long time to create this relationship with this man and I like his experience. Why stop here? He's perfect! He says he has had successful polyamorpus experiences. He is also loyal. If he's crazy about me why haven't we discussed this alone somewhere away from friends and partners and parties? I do visit him and he came to my bday recently. What's to fear? I won't cross boundaries. We can just visit the idea...again. I'm impatient I guess. Though at the same time I'm not.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Just take it one step at a time. I'm sure things will be fine.
 

FallenAngelina

Well-known member
I am seeing him soon but we are always partying. ...why haven't we discussed this alone somewhere away from friends and partners and parties?

A relationship isn't 50/50, it's 100% and 100%. Often it feels as though the other person sets up the conditions, but the truth is that you have every influence on how this relationship develops. If you would like intimate, one on one moments, free of the many distractions of parties and liquor, then by all means, create them. If you'd like more intimate moments, be intimate. "Partying" with him can't happen without you and neither can intimacy. What you create with him is up to you.
 
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newcrew

New member
Love this

That's so true, I love it and I needed to be reminded of it. I actually used the 100% thing with my son once haha. I should re assess my standards. We absolutely make time outside partying, I go over there and have tea and he tries to get time alone to walk together to and from birthday dinners and such. We both have busy lives, he has spiritual grandkids and I have children in my life too. I also appreciate what he has given me in terms of friendship with others. He has so many amazing people in my life that have become my close friends. <3 Thank you for encouraging me to have healthy relationships and activities. I need to be more upfront too. He shares his feelings with me more than I do with him.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
He sounds like a pretty awesome guy. Hang on to that man!
 
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