New Yorker Book Review: The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity

[Al99]

A well written book review of a book that may be of interest to some in the poly community.

Quoting Alan M. of Poly in the News:

Esther Perel began making her name with her 2006 book Mating in Captivity, a save-your-marriage guide tackling the all-too-human incompatibility of sexual interest and long-term monogamy. The topic was a head-turner at the time. This fall she came out with a new book, The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. From the Amazon blurb, "What are we to make of this time-honored taboo — universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat — even those in happy marriages? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is it possible to love more than one person at once?"

Quoting the New Yorker Review:

.... Might it not be better to stop fetishizing sexual exclusivity as the sine qua non of happy relationships?
Perel is not unsympathetic to this thought, and, toward the end of her book, she devotes a brief chapter to various forms of consensual non-monogamy.

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/12/18/in-defense-of-adulterers

http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/

 

[kdt26417]

Interesting, I just finished seeing/hearing a Ted talk from Perel about infidelity.

 

[Ravenscroft]

Hmm. So, you're reviewing Alan M's review of an NY review of a book...?

Someone might actually have to READ it someday.



Well, that might be me, but by the time I get to it the fad will likely be passed. I get the feeling Perel is 2017's Sheff, & more marketable for focusing on "loosened-up monogamy" rather than an actual alternatives, thus more palatable under the Monogamist regime.

 

[Al99]

Hmm. So, you're reviewing Alan M's review of an NY review of a book...?

Nope - I'm not reviewing anything - other than to say that I thought the original article itself was well written (from a technical perspective - no commentary on the actual contents.)

I was just offering links to the original article and to Alan M's review (because he offered some helpful background info) - as some of the of the folks here might conceivably find one or both of them of interest.

Although, I always enjoy reading your perspectives. Sometimes I actually agree with them. Happy Winter Solstice Season. Al