Polyamory
I think there is some missing framework here and maybe I'm an opposition voice, but I'll say it and see where it lands.
Opening a marriage in any capacity is, by nature, a very selfish act. It is saying, "I want to do this thing that will bring me additional pleasure and joy, and I want it to work, and I have x-amount of energy and capacity for what I'm willing to put up with to make it work."
And, if the marriage is strong, both partners understand that there is necessary selfishness included, but also that the PARTNERSHIP is the whole. The marriage relationship is the protected space.
This means the extra partners are at the mercy of what the marriage defines as the boundaries. In my experience, ONE relationship must be primary or there is no grounding space to return to. Maybe that primary relationship is constantly changing, and this is more complicated. But if the marriage is the primary relationship, the marriage sets the tone and the boundaries. The extra partners willingly agree to the contract terms or do not.
(Am I outside of the bounds of polyamory now? This is where my newness to the nomenclature might get me in trouble. Please read with an open mind and a lot of grace.)
Opening a marriage in any capacity is, by nature, a very selfish act. It is saying, "I want to do this thing that will bring me additional pleasure and joy, and I want it to work, and I have x-amount of energy and capacity for what I'm willing to put up with to make it work."
And, if the marriage is strong, both partners understand that there is necessary selfishness included, but also that the PARTNERSHIP is the whole. The marriage relationship is the protected space.
This means the extra partners are at the mercy of what the marriage defines as the boundaries. In my experience, ONE relationship must be primary or there is no grounding space to return to. Maybe that primary relationship is constantly changing, and this is more complicated. But if the marriage is the primary relationship, the marriage sets the tone and the boundaries. The extra partners willingly agree to the contract terms or do not.
(Am I outside of the bounds of polyamory now? This is where my newness to the nomenclature might get me in trouble. Please read with an open mind and a lot of grace.)