On the lighterside...The 'Things I never thought I would say...'

polyq4

Spaminator
Shopping

So my wife my GF and I go shopping. I am helping my GF look for some stuff, while my wife decides to wander around looking for coupons.

One of the staff approach my wife ' you look like you are just wandering around, is there something I can help you with?'

My wife says to him, no its ok I am waiting on my husband, he is helping his GF do some shopping.

Clerk says that must be awkward?

Wife responds with , no awkward is that his GF's husband is at home waiting for us.

The look on him was priceless, and he kind of just , well he almost ran away lol.
 

km34

New member
"So Fiona and I went to this play on Saturday, right? It was great, by the way, I mean fantastic. Anyway, there are like 3 gay couples, gay men that is, in the theatre, because if you're going to find an accepting area in Indiana, it's there, and everyone was fine with them holding hands, kissing, whatever. Fiona and I hold hands and people STARE. I mean, they can't seem to drag their eyes away. Granted, it could be because were talking about our husbands and how it was nice to have a night away from the boys..."

This was addressed to my sister (and obviously Fiona's real name was used when I was talking). Who doesn't technically know that Fiona and I are dating. Oops. I got another weird look after this one. She had the tact to smile and laugh it away though.
 

JustMe913

New member
My wife and I are about 4 months into an intimate relationship with a very close friend of 8 years. Here's some of the things I never thought we'd say...

"I wonder if they make a bed designed for 3 people"

"He's your boyfriend, you figure out what to text him." :)

Me after being away for a night on business and he spent the night: "If I wasn't privy to the fact that you're seeing him, my pillow being on the other side of the bed would definitely raise some flags." Her: "That's not your pillow, it's his. Yours is over here." Me: "I suppose that would be suspicious too!"
 

NovemberRain

New member
things I never thought I'd hear...

So over Christmas, I told my parents about my 'new' relationship (with two old flames).

About a month later, hanging out with my dad (who has been with my step-mom for well over 30 years), we're talking about our history. and my polyship.

Him: 'I'm guessing you know, or have figured out, that your mom and I tried that.'
/me mentally picks my jaw up off the floor
Me: 'not so much'
Him: explains, in the most minimal way possible
Me: doesn't ask for details, but offers 'that makes a lot of things make sense'

and, for bonus points, *he* offers up the lesson that if the third is only accepting poly because that's all that's on offer, when she really wants the man for herself, it ain't gonna work. I said, yep, they have a name for that too, they're called 'cowboys.' He laughed.

I'm trying really really hard to not be creeped out.
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member

evrchanging

New member
Jewell my wife "How can I pick on your boyfriend today."
Me, "Be nice."
Jewell, "Why I give everyone I love a tease."
 

NovemberRain

New member
Because one's parents are never supposed to have sex!

I dealt with 'they had sex' long ago. They attempted poly, that's just a new one. Plus, the three of us have a long and sordid history of ugly triangulation ~ which there's no need to go into here. I appreciate that they were, and are, both open with me. Also, I'm 51. It's news. I'll get over it. :)
 

nycindie

Active member
I dealt with 'they had sex' long ago. They attempted poly, that's just a new one. Plus, the three of us have a long and sordid history of ugly triangulation ~ which there's no need to go into here. I appreciate that they were, and are, both open with me. Also, I'm 51. It's news. I'll get over it. :)

Hey, you and I are the same age! Okay, I was thinking maybe you were younger and your folks not much older than I, so I was like, "What's creepy?" to sort of tease you in defense of older folks (like me) as sexual beings. But I hear ya about being surprised. For myself, it's not something I would be creeped out about necessarily, my mother was pretty open about her sex life as far as us knowing she had sex anyway (she was divorced, so had boyfriends).

In my family, I found out in my 30s that the "boarder" who lived with my great-grandparents was actually my great-grandmother's boyfriend. Apparently, it was common knowledge when I was little, according to one of my grandmother's cousins who told me. Both my ggparents died by the time I was 12, but I only found out about Oscar's true place in their lives about 25 years after they passed away. They were in their 70s when he lived with them, and I remember him well. So, they were a in a Vee into their twilight years!
 

NovemberRain

New member
that's very encouraging, nycindie. :D Yah, it's perfectly fine when it's not my parents. :) And in theory, it's actually fine if it's my parents. It was a pretty big hiccup for first time hearing it. I have a age thing too. My boyfriends are significantly younger, and sometimes I get weird about it. I really appreciate reading all your stuff, and feel much kindred spirit to you.
 

BrigidsDaughter

New member
Background: About a month ago, Runic Wolf's first girlfriend moved back to NY. They've stayed friends so for the last week he's been helping her get settled. And we've been talking about how there is still chemistry there.

This morning I awake to him saying he's going to help her with some more boxes. No big deal, I roll over and go back to sleep. He wakes me up a few minutes later saying he has to ask me a silly question..... his/ our friend is anxious that things might go further and she wanted me to text her to let her know I was really okay with it. :)
So I shot her a text on my crappy not text friendly phone because my smart phone isn't working. Hardest text I ever sent to say basically, yes you can sleep with my husband btw, I'm glad you moved back to NY.
 

Arrowbound

New member
Hey, you and I are the same age! Okay, I was thinking maybe you were younger and your folks not much older than I, so I was like, "What's creepy?" to sort of tease you in defense of older folks (like me) as sexual beings. But I hear ya about being surprised. For myself, it's not something I would be creeped out about necessarily, my mother was pretty open about her sex life as far as us knowing she had sex anyway (she was divorced, so had boyfriends).

In my family, I found out in my 30s that the "boarder" who lived with my great-grandparents was actually my great-grandmother's boyfriend. Apparently, it was common knowledge when I was little, according to one of my grandmother's cousins who told me. Both my ggparents died by the time I was 12, but I only found out about Oscar's true place in their lives about 25 years after they passed away. They were in their 70s when he lived with them, and I remember him well. So, they were a in a Vee into their twilight years!

It's always awesome to hear family stories like this, because people really do think poly is brand new for some reason due to those who practiced being private about it in the past. And then I hear stuff like this and all I can do is :).
 

Mya

Member
I was telling a friend that me and my girlfriend are going to Paris to celebrate our first anniversary. She asked if it's going to be just the two of us or are the husbands coming along. I replied: It's our anniversary. There's not going to be any husbands in our anniversary trip!
 

Alleycat

New member
Common phrase around here is "Tough, your outvoted."
All in good fun.

One time I'm recovering on my couch from a bit of manual labour done on behalf of a friend of mine (hauling debris from the demolition of a small brick house). I'm dead tired, sore as hell and quite comfortably sinking into my spot on the couch.

The wife wanders in with our secondary proclaiming that they have decide that they are in the mood to head out for the evening for dinner and then to a bar that I'm fairly indifferent to.

Me: That's nice. Have fun. I'll hold down the fort.
Wife: Nope. your coming.
Me: Idonwanna.
Wife: Tough, your outvoted.
Me: ?
Girlfriend: Yup. Outvoted. Get your shoes on.

Then my phone rings, its an ex of ours we're friends with.
Me: hello?
Ex-GF: Outvoted. They win.
me: :( Well played.
 
Just getting into poly, not committed to anyone yet but dating a few people.

Explaining to my sorority sister about poly and the people I date:

Ali: How was your date?
Me: Which one?
Ali: The one with the guy.
Me: Which one?
Ali: The guy you like.
Me: Hehe. [beat] Which one?
 

JaneQSmythe

Well-known member
Cuddled out of bed.

My husband to me:

"Your boyfriend cuddled me right out of bed this morning!"

We sleep 3 in a king size bed - I get the middle. If I get up without waking up Dude (by climbing back and forth over him to hit "snooze" a dozen times) and he doesn't realize that I'm not there then apparently he keeps rolling to the right until he wedges up against a warm body.

(MrS is not much for cuddling when he is sleeping - I roll up against him, he rolls away, Dude rolls up behind me, lather/rinse/repeat - oftentimes I wake up to find the the 3 of us all on MrS's side of the bed with him hanging off the edge.)
 
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