Organising poly meetups - help

peopleofpoly

peopleofpoly

New member
Hello everyone,


I would like to organise regular poly meetups in Sofia, Bulgaria. For context, this is a place where polyamory is not exactly widespread, known and well accepted. However there are still some of us who are trying to normalise it and would like to meet with like-minded people for the purpose of starting some kind of community group. What I imagine is once a month meetings, where people can socialise, and also why not establishing some kind of support group dynamic if we feel there's a demand for this.
What I have so far is:

  • The web platform, where info about these events will be published
  • Some social network exposure
  • Idea about the place the events can take place
  • Several enthusiasts who are eager to take part in such initiative
  • An idea that there should be some online community for the people who participate in the meetups
  • An idea that there should be some kind of survey - this is one of the topics I need help with
So I am having a lot of doubts about the questions I will be putting in that survey. The purpose of it would be... vetting mainly. I need to find some way to evaluate the motivation of the people who are willing to take part and who I don't know personally. Again, for context, Bulgarian society is not exactly friendly to polyamory. Of course, it depends on the person, but expressing hate is not uncommon. What I want to prevent is that people who are aiming for disturbance join the group and me finding out about this too late. I imagine if disturbance of that kind is allowed let's say on the first attempt, that would repel everyone else, who's with good intentions.
So in order to accept people who I don't know personally, I was thinking I should create a survey, where everyone can describe their motives to participate. The survey will also have organisational purposes and questions like "when", "where", "how", "would you like to add anything" etc. But what questions can I put for the other part? Any ideas?

What questions would you ask? What would be too much to ask? Am I missing anything?

I hope this is the right section for this question.
Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts!
 
Hey Sonya!

What will the format be? Drinks? Dinner? If you do dinner (perhaps for drinks as well), you could ask for a small fee, so you will weed out the less serious ones. Of course you can't fully prevent that, but you will attract perhaps people who are more invested in discussing polyamory seriously.

You could also give out the full location after they have transferred the fee, and will have to find different solutions for the ones where the funds are an obstacle.

In my country they organize poly-walks far from the city centre for people who do not want to be out. They find a place to group together and then go for a long poly-walk somewhere half an hour outside the hustle and bustle.
 
Hello,

The place for the first meetup will be an event centre - I will probably rent a space as per the number of participants. Then, depending on the dynamics and preferences of the majority, the next meetups may take a different format, or there can even be multiple formats, if there are enthusiasts to organise them.
Thank you for the rest of the ideas, they make a lot of sense.
 
peopleofpoly said:
Hello,

The place for the first meetup will be an event centre - I will probably rent a space as per the number of participants. Then, depending on the dynamics and preferences of the majority, the next meetups may take a different format, or there can even be multiple formats, if there are enthusiasts to organise them.
Thank you for the rest of the ideas, they make a lot of sense.
Click to expand...
Maybe also an idea to make the first event a max of 10-15 people, so there is an easy oversight in case there will be some difficulties? Maybe less? I don't know with how much you are comfortable with? Best to keep it small in case you are doing it alone.
 
That, too.

The struggle is mainly with the survey thing now. I have some pretty clear vision for the rest, but that... :rolleyes:
 
peopleofpoly said:
That, too.

The struggle is mainly with the survey thing now. I have some pretty clear vision for the rest, but that... :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Would probably ask "why" and maybe "why now", so you can see in their answers how far they are in their journey or if they have done any research at all. Are they there to learn, meet people, observe. Is your target group who already have experience? Is it open for all? Everyone goes at a different pace.

I know from one poly dinner, it was a "spin off" of an another poly event that wanted to organize dinners only with people who had gone through some of the "transition" because the organizer didn't want to discuss with people who had a lot of problems in their relationships and use it as a therapy session, but just meeting and discussing polyamory in general.
 
Hi,
my city had meetups for tea, later in a pub (and occasionally other formats as well). I don't think there was a survey to "weed out" haters, although, it was mainly organized through a facebook group, so it's likely they added some "entry questions" after I joined. I think if you are organized through an online space, you can always ban haters there. As for in person events, I am not sure such meetups attract haters. What would be the scenario? Do you expect people to come, start preaching and refuse to leave?
 
That scenario is possible, although not highly probable. I have seen cases of people bullying gay folks. I would like to avoid any ugly situations, so that everyone feels safe.

For the online community - I don't want to start with it first, because online is even easier to get in and cause disturbance, and that would lead to everyone else leaving. My plan is to start offline meetups and then to add some people I already know in person to an online community and to authorise them to invite others. That way I'd prevent online haters sneaking in the community group more efficiently, I think. There is also the question about discretion in these online communities - leaking of info (who is in), screenshots... Apparently I prefer to be preventive rather than reactive. I feel I only have one shot to make this right and I don't want to fail it for something stupid which I didn't consider.
 
I cant describe how happy I am to read this thread. I just had a conversation with my therapist and she suggested going to a meetup of polyamorous people. I thought no such thing exists in Sofia and boom - this thread, from yesterday, is just talking about such a meetup.

Sonya, I will be more than keen not only to take part but also to help with the organization if you like (just PM me). As you are saying - this is not really common in Bulgaria. Like not at all, so Id be curious to have a meaningful conversation with like minded individuals and hear more about their successes and struggles.

Looking forward to it
Tony
 
Hiya all

I'm.in UK struggling to meet anyone
Single divorced guy
If the event is mixed group and not dominated by male only I would love to attend no issue with covering cost of course
I enjoy travelling tbh as well
When do you think this event may occur
 
one_guy_too_many said:
I cant describe how happy I am to read this thread. I just had a conversation with my therapist and she suggested going to a meetup of polyamorous people. I thought no such thing exists in Sofia and boom - this thread, from yesterday, is just talking about such a meetup.

Sonya, I will be more than keen not only to take part but also to help with the organization if you like (just PM me). As you are saying - this is not really common in Bulgaria. Like not at all, so Id be curious to have a meaningful conversation with like minded individuals and hear more about their successes and struggles.

Looking forward to it
Tony
Click to expand...
I'm so glad this board helped you to connect!
 
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