Our First Poly Event

JonnyAce

New member
JustChristine and I went to our first poly event last night. We had a wonderful time, and met some great people (except for the one creepy guy). it was scheduled to go from 7-11, we didn't leave until 1 a.m. :eek: We met a really cute, nice girl (P), and cuddled, and were affectionate with her for a good portion of the evening. It brought me such joy to see JC all smiley when she was cuddling, and kissing P. JC said she felt very happy that we were both sharing something so nice, and warm. Yay compersion!!! We're both excited about going next month. :D

I had to share this great experience with you all, as you've all been so supportive. You folks don't realize how much wonderful, informative help you give to people who don't post much (but read everything) on here, so thanks!

OP's note to Mods: I hope i posted this in the right section, if not feel free to move it.
 

rosevett

New member
that is so awesome JA & JC.
 

Mark1npt

New member
Maybe I'm a little out of touch with some polys, but is it customary to start making out with some chick the first poly event you go to? Whatever happened to a meet and greet, learn a little and make a date for some other time? Do we all now move right into the next make out chick at our next meeting?
 

Ravenesque

New member
Yay JohnnyAce! I'm happy for you both. The event missed me, I was out of NYC at that point. But there'll be other chances.

Maybe I'm a little out of touch with some polys, but is it customary to start making out with some chick the first poly event you go to? Whatever happened to a meet and greet, learn a little and make a date for some other time? Do we all now move right into the next make out chick at our next meeting?

"We all" don't have to do anything. As far as I can tell there is no "customary" when it comes to how polys approach their relationships. Spontaneity can be apart of some poly relationships as much as "meet and greet" and waiting for later.

JohnnyAce was expressing an experience which he and JustChristine had at their first poly event. It was positive for them. What exactly is the purpose of your comment?

~Raven~
 

JonnyAce

New member
is it customary to start making out with some chick the first poly event you go to?


First off, i didn't say anything about making out. There was no making out, just some cuddling, and light kissing.

Secondly, it happened after at least 4 hours of all 3 of us in a little cubby/alcove-y type area talking, and getting to know one another.

Lastly, I'm sorry if this isn't the way that you do poly, bu as they say a lot on this forum, there's no one way to do it right. ;)
 

JustChristine

New member
I was really REALLY happy that we went to this event... thanks Jon!

JA and I had agreed beforehand, that if at any point either of us wanted to leave (because we were uncomfortable, or just ready to go), that we would. At one point, I was in tears... both because of an encounter with another attendee who seriously skeeved me out, and because the overwhelming number of people there started to wear on me (I don't do well in crowds, especially alone, and JA had gone outside for a smoke break). Thankfully we were able to move to the side and talk about what I was feeling and why I was crying, and JA helped me calm down and was very supportive of me when I really needed him to be. If it hadn't been for that quiet little moment between the two of us, I would have wanted to leave right then and there, and wouldn't have experienced the rest of the night.

Moving from the main bar area into the secondary room (the one with the booth/alcoves) really helped me be more comfortable, as there were way less people back there, and I was not only able to breathe easier but we were also able to join in on some conversation where we didn't feel like we had to yell to be heard. Earlier on in the night, it had been the same way in the main room (that's what we get for showing up early/on time) but the growing crowd had made it impossible, so I was really happy that we moved out of there.

I have to say, it was just such an experience (both exciting and overwhelming) to get to meet so many new people, and to feel accepted and understood by people. It's one thing to experience such acceptance online (for example, here in the forums), but it's another thing entirely to feel accepted in person, without having to ask to be accepted.
 

JustChristine

New member
is it customary to start making out with some chick the first poly event you go to?

Hmm... I don't believe there was any making out going on (well, at least not involving myself or JA!).

Not that I feel compelled to defend my/our actions, though the tone of your response felt strangely accusatory and I'm not sure why.

Heck, I kissed P on the forehead while we were sitting around, hanging out and talking... just a sweet little gesture with nothing so sexually charged behind it as "making out" implies. More of a bonding of a newly-formed friendship, and less of a "random hook-up at a bar."

For me, the part that made me most smiley was just holding hands with people... sharing that with JA made it even better.

Everybody experiences things their own way... that's part of what's so great about being alive.
 

redpepper

New member
Maybe I'm a little out of touch with some polys, but is it customary to start making out with some chick the first poly event you go to? Whatever happened to a meet and greet, learn a little and make a date for some other time? Do we all now move right into the next make out chick at our next meeting?

Woot, making out with chicks!
I must say that our meetings are cuddly but the formate for ours might be different and for that reason we don't get more intimate than a leg across someone, someone else giving a massage etc. Ours are about education and philisophical discussion that's why. Perhaps before we lambast poor mark and before anyone gets their knickers in a knot we can hear a bit about how the meeting was run? I think of meetings as sitting down at a large table to discuss something. This sounds like it wasn't that at all. How did you meet the woman you met? Who was the creepy guy? What was the permiss behind being there? To find dates? It sounds more like our dating group here than our meeting group.

I'm glad it went so well both of you! :D
 

JonnyAce

New member
Perhaps before we lambast poor mark and before anyone gets their knickers in a knot we can hear a bit about how the meeting was run?

Fair enough RP. This was a Cocktail Hour event. It was not a dinner, nor a discussion group, nor a meeting. I realize now that i wasn't clear on this in my original post, and for that i apologize.


How did you meet the woman you met?

She was one of the 1st people there to see us noobs, and introduce herself.

Who was the creepy guy?

JC will have to answer that if she chooses to. :eek:

What was the permiss behind being there? To find dates?

To go, and meet nice like minded people. Also the other possible poly event is a munch that is run by someone that's known me since i was 12. I felt more comfortable going to my 1st poly event not run by someone who's known me since i was a child.

I'm glad it went so well both of you! :D

Thank you :D
 
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CielDuMatin

New member
I think that it is very interesting to compare what goes on at various poly events, so I really appreciate you sharing this with us.

In our more rural area, the meets are usually around dinner at a restaurant - conversation is about everything, including poly. I think that an outsider observing us and even hearing most of the conversation would think that we were a bunch of friends getting together for dinner, and nothing more. I just think that they would have trouble trying to work out who the "couples" are.

I know that New York City holds cuddle parties around the time of the Pride Parade, and I know that suits some. It wouldn't suit me - I'm the type that is picky about who is in my personal space and it's rare that I would meet someone new in an evening and want to cuddle with them that same evening.

NYC has many types of poly events - which is a great luxury for those living in or near the city - I am certain other big cities have similar.

I would be curious to hear other people's experiences attending poly get-togethers and meet-ups of the various types.
 

redpepper

New member
Wow, my question is answered about NY that no one responded to in the "chit chat" thread... I was using lyrics from a song that is out right now, Jay Z and Alicia Keys- "Empire state of mind" I was wondering really if NY is all that we hear about in songs, movies etc... if one has never been there, then I think it can be over fantasized perhaps? or is it all really what they say?

I went once to NY and drove a rented car through China town. CRAZY! I liked honking my horn lots though :D I drove from Montreal PQ and stayed in a hostel. I was there for one night and FELL IN LOVE! I totally get the energy and it was so me.... I am so excited and envious that there is so much going on in the poly world there. That just isn't a reality for a lot of folks.

Our meetings all just started happening in the last year really. There was a social group before that met at a restaurant and then it blossomed into a educational group that has a large turn out upward of about 30 people sometimes. I just started a women's group that about 15 people went to last time and there is now a dating group. Maybe other things are going on too I just don't know... oh ya, some stuff about the up coming interviening at the supreme court about the polygamy law.

They each serve a different function but a lot of us go to all or a couple and hang out socially now as a result. We do our dating from our more private social gatherings or privately.
 

ImaginaryIllusion

Administrator
Staff member
Wow, my question is answered about NY that no one responded to in the "chit chat" thread... I was using lyrics from a song that is out right now, Jay Z and Alicia Keys- "Empire state of mind" I was wondering really if NY is all that we hear about in songs, movies etc... if one has never been there, then I think it can be over fantasized perhaps? or is it all really what they say?

I went once to NY and drove a rented car through China town. CRAZY! I liked honking my horn lots though :D I drove from Montreal PQ and stayed in a hostel. I was there for one night and FELL IN LOVE! I totally get the energy and it was so me.... I am so excited and envious that there is so much going on in the poly world there. That just isn't a reality for a lot of folks.

Sorry RP...I was waiting for someone who lived there to answer it more properly than I could. I had a similar experience to yours, were I understand now why some people make such a big deal about NYC. It's not the only city in the world that's left an impression, but it's on a short list so far.

Speaking of poly meetings, I did wander around the Poly Pride picnic at central park for a while...and met up with XYZ123, who was incredibly hospitiable. I'm very grateful to her and her husband for that.
However for the picnic it seemed that everyone was mostly grouped off already, so I wasn't sure about doing other introductions. I'm hoping next time in April the timing might be right for a proper meet & greet or mixer or something.

One thing about NYC, I'm definitely planning to go back. And everyone back home that I told about the Museum of Sex totally want to go there, just for that. :)
While the The Sex Lives of Animals exhibit sounds like it's moved on, the first major piece on display of a deer threesome....it was...informative.
 

JonnyAce

New member
RP- i thought i had replied on the "chit chat" thread, but maybe i just thought of my reply, and didn't actually type it. I love NYC, it definitely has a unique feel to it. At the same time growing up in NYC, and it's surrounding areas it doesn't seem so magical it just feels like " The City". It's still my fav. major city i've been to.

It is nice that there are a lot of options for poly folk in the NYC area, and i hope to at least try most of them to see which groups i prefer.
 

CielDuMatin

New member
Speaking of poly meetings, I did wander around the Poly Pride picnic at central park for a while...and met up with XYZ123, who was incredibly hospitiable. I'm very grateful to her and her husband for that.
However for the picnic it seemed that everyone was mostly grouped off already, so I wasn't sure about doing other introductions.
I had a similar experience - went to the Poly Pride picnic in Central Park about 5 years ago. It was interesting from the experiencing it point of view and to see other "polys in action" but I agree about the grouping-off thing - I didn't feel like walking up to complete strangers in Central Park and introducing myself.

And everyone back home that I told about the Museum of Sex totally want to go there, just for that. :)
Yes, I found that place really interesting - everything from the history of "pin-ups" through Blue Movies and all sorts of other stuff about society's attitude towards sex. All done in a way that wasn't titillating, but very classy. When I was there they had a section about Bettie Page, too.

I like the energy of NYC, but I have found it works much better if you are there with someone who knows the city, otherwise it can be a tad overwhelming. It's also nice to have to place to retreat to, just in case it gets too much.

There have been a few cities that have made a huge impression on me (Paris, San Francisco, and Berlin being others) and NYC is definitely on that list. Plenty of fun stuff to do other than the standard tourist stuff.
 
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