Penny's Blog

Penny

New member
So, I was tempted to come up with some sort of pun on the phrase "penny for your thoughts" or maybe even the old Penny Dreadfuls, but I figured after a while I'd get tired of the title of my own blog and I'm not feeling particularly clever right now anyhow.

I already told my story, at least the beginning, in detail in my intro thread. There's a link to that post in my signature. I'll just go over it in brief here.

My husband (Thumper) and I have been together for 11 years, married for 3, or something close to that. We have a beautiful 6 year old daughter. I got involved with my boyfriend, T-Rex, about 8 months ago.

It's been an amazing experience. I mean, not that the road has been completely bumpless, but we went into it with openness and honesty, and poly has been such an overwhelmingly positive experience for us, it blows my mind.

Thumper and T-Rex are friends and we have great times together. I am surrounded by affection and, at 42, feel sexier than ever with these two gorgeous guys who treat me so well.

I mean, I cherish my alone time with each of them. In fact, the alone time is essential. But, wow, when they both start lavishing me with sexual attention at the same time, my brain just melts right out of my head.

Thumper is my rock, my island, my ally against the world. We can talk our way through anything together and love each other in a deep, abiding way. And he's sexy as hell.

T-Rex is... different. I'm not sure how, and I see now that I have something to gain from writing about it. I will revisit this in a later post. He's handsome, fun, incredibly easy-going, and also sexy as hell.

Disillusioned asked me some questions in another thread, and I said I'd answer them here. Seems a good enough place to start...

Wow Penny, I just read your story... thats so wild. Was the reason you wanted to open up the relationship sexual? Because I can imagine a story where a married woman meets someone, falls in love with him, but then doesn't want to leave the husband and the whole thing comes up... but here it sounds like you first talked about it and then met someone ... so why did it come up in the first place? If it was just for sexual reasons, why not swing or.. something like that? Did you feel a need for a new relationship from an emotional pov?

My husband and I agreed with the notion of polyamory on an intellectual level before trying it out. We aren't afraid to question conventional morality and tend to lead our life just making it up as we go along. He's never been the jealous type, and I have a flirty personality. I've never had any compunction against telling him when I find someone attractive.

He's interested in swinging, but I need more. I can't get into casual encounters. I mean, I find lots of people attractive, but I need more in order to get to the point where I'd act on it.

I didn't feel a need for another relationship and Thumper is a great lover so I wasn't feeling any lack in the bedroom department. Still, Thumper wasn't comfortable with the idea of having other partners if I wasn't also involved with others. I had no problem intellectually with the idea of being with someone else, but the work involved in a relationship just wasn't worth it to me unless it was with someone who really blew my socks off.

One relationship is enough of a commitment of time and energy. If I was going to actually take a lover, it had to be someone spectacular... like my husband, but different.

T-Rex joined our gaming group (we play tabletop rpgs) via a mutual friend. I was attracted to him immediately, and we all became friends with him (me, Thumper, and the group that is like family to me). He fit right in. I never hid my crush on him from Thumper, who would tease me about it. I flirted with T-Rex who enjoyed it, though I know I made him nervous sometimes.

He says he liked us all so much, he didn't want to screw it up. He's not the sort of guy who would get involved in a cheating situation, and he didn't want to be disrespectful to Thumper by flirting with his wife. He told me he enjoyed our conversations via the internet before then, but they felt rather intimate and he would back away from them after a few exchanges because he started feeling guilty.

I can totally respect that. He's a good guy. I only ever go for the good guys.

Anyhow, after he'd been hanging out with us for about nine months (I don't move very fast... until I do), I suggested him to Thumper as a part of our occasional ongoing discussion of opening our marriage. I got the approval, and Thumper mentioned to the group as a whole that we were opening our marriage, deliberately in front of T-Rex, and asked advice about a girl he was interested in that we all knew.

T-Rex went out of the country for a week on vacation immediately after Thumper made that announcement. I figured it would give him time to think about it.

When he came back, there was a difference in the way he looked at me. I emailed him either the next day or the day after that (I don't remember which). I titled the email "Cards on the table..." and laid it out for him.

We got together that night, both nervous as hell... it was so cute, after my friends went home from gaming while Thumper (who works nights) was at work.

At first we kept it separate, but recently we've been having great fun having threesomes. Thumper is sort of bi, but not attracted to masculine men, and T-Rex is straight. I love it when we all hang out together. I love to cook, and there's something sexy about cooking for two men who are going to bang the daylights out of me later. And we cuddle and watch movies, or I snuggle down between them as they play video games. I love listening to them geek out about anime and gaming. We're such nerds.

I am ecstatically happy with the situation. Seriously. Over the moon.

As TruckerPete says in the title of her blog, this is a lot of work. But DAAAMN, is it worth it!
 

Penny

New member
Lolz, that was a LOT longer than I thought.

Thumper might tl;dr me.
 

Ariakas

Bosun
Pennywiser :D...

Sorry that has nothing to do with your blog, but it came to mind when you were talking about blog names :)

Good post, congrats :)
 

Penny

New member
SQUEEE!!! My first response! :D
 

Penny

New member
The other day Thumper and I were talking about the expense of his life insurance. I was asking if it was really necessary because we're trying to dial back our expenses.

He told me that it made him feel better because he knew I would really not be okay for a while if something happened to him (true) and he wanted to make it easier and make sure I was taken care of.

He added that having T-Rex around made him feel better about that too, because he knew that T-Rex wouldn't abandon me.

Thumper can be really fucking morbid, but that was so very sweet... in a really fucking morbid sort of way.

@TruckerPete: "Penny's in Heaven." Love it! Wish I'd thought of that one.
 

Penny

New member
Thumper doesn't get along with his family really well. His mom is a basket case, loves to manufacture drama, and she runs the family. His sister is pretty much a carbon copy of his mom, and all the guys have been trained to retreat into silence rather than deal with conflict with the women. His brother married a woman much like his mother and sister... she dumped him recently in favor of one of his friends.

Our daughter loves her cousins, and, as she's an only child without much other family, we want to foster her relationship with them as well as with her grandparents on that side, so long as there is no danger that Thumper's mom will damage our girl psychologically.

The whole family is going to a waterpark for the weekend early next month. Thumper doesn't like being around his mother and sister (understatement... and neither do I, for that matter). He has avoided them for years, our daughter being the main reason he has any contact with them at all. Still, we knew the kiddo would love to go and be with her cousins, so, after discussing it, we reluctantly agreed.

Later, contemplating the situation, Thumper says to me, "We could invite T-Rex." (Of course, he used his real name.)

We had a laugh over that, being a bizarre thought... not a way of thinking we had experience with. We're out to our friends and my mom, but not many other people yet. It just hasn't come up yet. We're pretty open, generally, and I'm really uncomfortable with deception or pretending to be something I'm not. We're also really into letting our relationships develop at their own pace, and not trying to make them fit any predefined mold.

So, after a pause, Thumper says, "He would make it more fun. Give us someone to hang out with."

I agreed. We thought about it some more, and I asked Thumper if I should invite him. The idea didn't seem so weird after a little while, and T-Rex is the kind of guy who'd be a BLAST at a waterpark. He has this delightfully whimsical nature and is great at being in the moment.

So, we did, and he accepted. He said it would be an interesting social experiment.

He's going to stay in our hotel room, because it will be more fun that way. We're doing king-sized bed in a room with a couch for the kiddo, hopefully with a fold out bed. She's likely to spend at least one of the two nights with her cousins anyhow, and she's seen us group cuddle before. She's joined us, squeezing in between me and her dad while T-Rex is on the other side of me. She likes T-Rex, and he's good with kids. It's all innocent and familial, no problems there, and we are affectionate but not sexual in front of her.

I'm not worried about the room arrangements, but the thing is that I am accustomed to not hiding my physical affection with T-Rex from anyone. When we go out, I've held hands with both guys at once. We (me and Thumper and me and T-Rex) kiss and hug and are generally lovey dovey.

I should probably curtail this in front of Thumper's family. His mother is a busybody and a nut-job, and certainly not beyond histrionics. Her opinion is extremely unwelcome given the hostile relationship between her and Thumper (and, to a lesser extent, between me and her).

All three of us despise drama.

But it would make me feel extremely uncomfortable to treat T-Rex like a dirty little secret and to act in a manner that is unnatural to me. I've got half a mind to damn the torpedoes and just act however comes naturally.

I have not yet discussed this with the guys. Thumper will read this and know a conversation is impending. His attitude is probably similar to mine. T-Rex is super easy-going, but may lean on the conservative side, not wanting to make waves or cause drama.

I can't say for sure though, that would be presumptuous, which is why conversation is necessary. If anyone has input, I'd love to hear it.

I gotta run. I'd write more on this, but I get to teach my daughter's class about the solar system today, which I'm really excited about, and I need to prepare a bit more.
 
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TruckerPete

New member
Take the middle ground?

You could, if asked directly by a busybody, tell them that T-Rex is your boyfriend, but refrain from being overtly physical.

You're in a public place, so the amount of loud drama would be limited.

And if you're not asked, well, the family will have already met him and he has a chance to make a good impression on them before they do find out.

If I were a busybody, I think I would wonder who exactly this "single", adult male was. If he's good with kids, be very careful that the family doesn't get even worse ideas into their heads. (I'd say I'm paranoid, but that did happen to RedPepper and Mono, and actually precipitated their coming out.)
 
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Penny

New member
Yeah, I read about what happened to Redpepper and Mono. I thought about that, but I'm thinking about it harder now that you brought it up.

Thumper read this and told me I should act as comes naturally to me. I'm not much of one for public grab-assery, but I like to touch and hold hands and show other forms of physical affection on a pretty frequent basis. Thumper and I always touch each other, rest our heads on each other's shoulders, that sort of thing. T-Rex and I are the same way. That's how I am with my daughter, too, actually.

I'm not a touchy-feely person... except with them.

Of course, if I made it clear by my actions that I am the one T-Rex is interested in sexually, that would help prevent a situation like that with Mono and Redpepper. If Thumper is present and demonstrates his friendship with T-Rex and his approval of him as a partner for me, then he won't look like some poor schmuck whose wife is slutting around on him.

So, there's benefit to all of us acting like we usually do.

I suck at pretending. It makes me ill at ease and feels disrespectful to both men. If either wants me to, that's a different story. T-Rex is not out to his family about me, but his mom is Catholic and they all live out of state. I don't think he's had to lie about it or anything.

It makes me feel weird that he's deliberately keeping it quiet, but he sees it as a private matter and not one having any effect on day to day life. He would have to make a point of bringing it up.

I know that if there were a good reason to, T-Rex would deal with the fall out from owning up to our relationship to his family. I have great confidence in the strength of his character. As it makes it easier for him not to, I let it go. He is very fond of his mother, and I think he'd rather spare her the stress.

We don't see Thumper's family often. I have no idea how they would respond. His mom can be a bit of a crazy bitch, but Thumper has broken off all contact with her for stretches spanning years. She may know that she can't push him. I'm pretty sure he'd tell her to shut the fuck up if he had to.

In fact, it's likely that part of him would relish the opportunity. Still, I don't want our little girl exposed to arguments like that. She has what may be an anxiety disorder related to a number of losses and deaths in the family when she was a toddler.

She comes first, always.

Thanks. The dialogue is really helping me clarify things in my head. Being in the situation may prove different than talking or thinking about it, but I am a big fan of internal consistency and understanding my own motives and point of view. I will be able to act from a solid place, rather than trying to figure things out that I should already know.

Our friends are coming over to game tonight. T-Rex usually stays after for sexy times. I'll probably bring this up, though only in brief, so he knows my thoughts.

Thumper is pretty dyslexic, otherwise he'd be posting here too. It takes him a lot of work to write, whereas I just sit down and volumes flow out of my fingertips.

I got to teach my daughter's first grade class about the solar system today. It was pretty awesome. I had animations and a virtual fly-through set up on the interactive whiteboard. The kids were really into it.
 

Penny

New member
Last night I was exhausted. T-Rex always lingers after our friends go home, and Thumper has the night off. Usually we do naughty things (yay!), but I was so out of it. Still, I didn't want to miss my cuddles, so we fired up the airbed in the living room and the three of us snuggled up and watched a couple episodes of Babylon 5.

I dozed happily. I love cuddles.
 

Penny

New member
Me and my guys are going to a costumed Steampunk event at a bar tomorrow night. Thumper's brother will be there, so at least one of his family will know about the boyfriend. I might consider avoiding the PDAs at the waterpark, but hell no am I going out drinking and dancing in a sexy Steampunk adventuress outfit (I got a corset, goggles, and a ray gun!) and pretending not to be involved with T-Rex.

We are going to have so much fun. I plan on making a bit too merry that night. At the waterpark in April I will be wearing the first bathing suit I'll be buying after losing 35 pounds this past year, so I'll be very strict and good about going to the gym and treating my body reasonably... starting Sunday. I consider tomorrow a last blow-out before really knuckling down.

My body builds muscle at a ridiculous rate. After a weekend of self-indulgence, I intend to spend the next three weeks busting my ass lifting weights for maximum hotness in a bikini.
 

ladyintricate

New member
Squee!

Me and my guys are going to a costumed Steampunk event at a bar tomorrow night. Thumper's brother will be there, so at least one of his family will know about the boyfriend. I might consider avoiding the PDAs at the waterpark, but hell no am I going out drinking and dancing in a sexy Steampunk adventuress outfit (I got a corset, goggles, and a ray gun!) and pretending not to be involved with T-Rex.

Good for you Penny! That sounds super hot (HAWT)! ;) I have loved reading your blog. Just found it today and it is so nice to read a happy poly story!

It is also amazing to read that hubby and I are not the only nerds around the forums! We play tabletop RPG’s (hubby is an amazing and very creative DM), and love steampunk and anime. Do you like to dress up for ren faire's also? I have a sexy frilly short skirt and leather corset I have been waiting to wear till I loose some weight. Sounds like you have already accomplished that and are looking fabulous! Feel free to nerd/girl out with me anytime by sending me a PM.

Hope you have fun tonight and I am sure you will make your guys drool in that awesome outfit!
[/B]
 

Penny

New member
I love playing dress-up. Unfortunately, I want to enjoy the freedom of anonymity here so I can speak without filtering, so I don't want to post pictures... except I love my costuming stuff and most of my Facebook pictures are me wearing something ridiculous.

I own several corsets and bodices and wear a five tier hoop skirt to events that warrant that, particularly the local Ren Festival. I have two leather steampunk waistcoats and a wide variety of interesting skirts, including a ruffled black Lolita Goth skirt which is pretty short. I wear it with layered black petticoats underneath for maximum puff.

I have to wear Can-Can shorts (pettipants) under that as it is quite short. I match that up with industrial fishnets with garters, black combat boots with flame detailing, a black leather underbust corset with a black tank top (athletic style) revealing stunning cleavage (I know it is stunning, I've taken an informal poll), plus full length black satin gloves and a lace choker with a cameo.

That's one of my regular costumes for a LARP character.

I love playing dress up. I will probably describe more costumes here over time as I love talking about this stuff. I am proud of my little collection of costumey things.
 

SNeacail

New member
He, He I've always love making costumes also, but never had a good enough excuse to spend the money or a place to wear them. I just recently decided to change that.
 

Penny

New member
Ladyintricate, this isn't directed at you so much as you got me thinking on this topic...

So there's this demotivational poster with a picture of a booth-babe/cosplayer/hot chick. The poster is labeled "HOPE" and under that it says "Because she just might want to hear about your 12th level paladin."

The vast majority of people don't want to hear about Helena von Helen, paladin of St. Cuthbert (3.5 D&D, played from level 1 to 30, no prestige classes, only one feat outside the PHB in a campaign with all Completes (CoAd, CoAr, CoD, CoW) open, facing MMI-IV in the hands of a particularly vicious (in a good way) DM... Helena's build was so elegant, she was a weapon of mass destruction with her MW darkwood lance (non-magical) that the Cleric would cast the spells Spike and Bramble on... I enjoyed the look of horror and admiration on the DM's face whenever I made something explode because I was a living missile on griffon-back...).

My griffon's name was Linda. Her first paladin warhorse was named Linda and, as she upgraded mounts, she just kept naming them Linda.

I'm sure many of you recognize that sort of language. Gamer Syndrome. If you understood all that (okay, you might have to look up the spells), then you either are or are very close to a hardcore tabletop gamer. LARPs count too, I do both. I have a character in OWbN.

I got married at GenCon. In costume, as was the entire wedding party.

I am such a gamer geek. I have been running games for 30 years, since I was 12. Mostly a GM, I've been getting more into being a player in the last decade.

I will try not to talk like this in the future, but I thought a demonstration of just how big a gamer geek I am was in order as it is a huge part of my life. My gaming group is like an extended family.

It's like we gamers have a secret language, and sometimes we get so swept up in it... there's something close and intimate about gamer talk... it's almost like chimpanzee grooming behavior. It's soothing and we bond over it.

But I'm going to try not to do it here.

I am such a hardcore gamer that it is difficult for me to understand how it is possible to not "get" gaming. I am pretty sure that your brains are wired differently than mine.

It's okay, I like you anyhow. In recent years I have resolved to become better at communicating with non-gamers, as many of you are cool and interesting people. I recognize that in order to avoid making your eyes glaze over and your attention wander off, I have to try to not to geek out too hard in front of you.

Ladyintricate and I should probably have a conversation via PM as I bet we have much in common.

@Sneacail, you should go for it with costuming. It's so much fun and there's just something so joyfully life-affirming about adorning yourself lavishly and elaborately and taking part in public spectacle.

@TruckerPete, I don't know, but girls sure are pretty!
 
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ImaginaryIllusion

Administrator
Staff member
I got married at GenCon. In costume, as was the entire wedding party.

....

It's like we gamers have a secret language, and sometimes we get so swept up in it... there's something close and intimate about gamer talk... it's almost like chimpanzee grooming behavior. It's soothing and we bond over it.
You're cool points just went up on the last post....

Although I'm not sure I want to think about 'intimacy' and 'chimpanzee' in the same sentence...! :)
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Eek, I'd be afraid to just call this blog, Penny's In Heaven, because of karma. Say you're in heaven and bam! the universe brings you some hell. (Kinda like the poster here, Happiest Man Alive, who almost always seems so unhappy! Or naming your girlchild Candy or Cookie and she grows up to be a stone butch dyke. ;) )

Anyway! I am jealous of you cooking and sexing with 2 hot "good guys." Wish I could find even one... sigh. Someday.
 
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