That martini
That $20 that was your whole drinking budget for the night, something I can relate to. I am sorry you had to spend it on someone who did not appreciate it. If it were me (out with you) we would have been talking about something else & I would have gotten the next round.
I grew up with money. I will not apologize, I picked my parents before I was born. My mother came from so much money, she had never dressed herself until she was 16 years old. Took her like 6 hours.
My father was the son of a washer woman. We lived on what my father earned btw.
My mother liked to dress up in grubby jeans and my father's Carnegie Tech sweatshirt. I remember being out in a working man's bar eating an incredible Pastrami on rye drinking Rheingold on draft. (I might have been a few years under age, but I wasn't driving, she was.)
Some guy spilled his beer and said, "Shit!" Some guy punched him in the arm and said, "Hey watch your language. there's a lady here."
My mother rubbernecked around the entire bar and declared in a nice loud voice, "I don't see a fucking lady here! Oh shit, were you talking about me? Get this guy a beer, on me."
This is a lady who had her private cars attached to the train when they travelled, but preferred workingmen's bars. Bigger and better sandwiches, better cheaper draft beer. She thought Budweiser tasted like that horse ain't fit. In the Northeast she drank Pabst, Reingold, Narragansette.
I suspect she would have taken the empty martini glass off the table, slipped it under her dress and said, "Here let me refill that for you."
When I was growing up, I rarely took girls out on dates. I would take them on picnics and I made all the food myself. Now part of this was, I did not want them to know my parents (be clear here my parents had money, I did not. Pop was not giving out money) had money. I wanted them to love me for me.
I also knew that some motherfucking waiter was going to show up in the middle of my best stuff. "Can I get you anything else?" "Yes! A rag to stuff in your mouth and a baseball bat to beat you over the head. I'm working here!"
On a picnic, under a tree, a few wild flowers I had picked along the way, nice large thick soft blanket to lay on, no waiters to interrupt us. Maybe my notebook I wrote poetry in or a sketch pad "why don't you loosen your hair and undo a couple of buttons on your dress. No don't take it off, just undo the buttons. You look like a forest maiden." (I did tell you I was a lying, cunning, manipulative, self centered, deceptive 'no, I have to stop. I'm getting too excited. I don't want you to think I just want you for....' <this is where she grabs the back of your head and says in a rather firm! but throaty voce "I'll tell you when to stop.")
The subject of money never came up.
My brother is concerned with money but doesn't talk about it much. I remember one birthday, mom took us to a new off the beaten path store, who happened to use the same haberdashers as Brooks Brothers. She said she would buy us both a suit.
My brother walked around looking at the prices and picked some cheap piece of shit with two pairs of pants. I walked around and fingered the material on the lapels. When I found a suit I liked the feel of, I would pull it out of the rank and shake it to see the flow and drape of the cloth. Once I found one I liked, we saw the tailor.
My brother was older, so even though my b'day, he goes first. The tailor informs him that young men are not wearing cuffs anymore. My brother has two pairs of pants with no cuffs.
I told him, "inch and a quarter cuffs" he tried to tell me that young fashionable men blah blah. One raised eyebrow, "inch and a Quarter cuffs. Make sure the extra material is in my pocket in case I burn a hole and need to see the reweavers." Owner of the store nodded approvingly, tailor nodded respectfully.
So folks, I am not a trend follower.
Later at lunch my mother commented that I had bought the most expensive suit in the store. She said, you never even looked at the price. I said, why would I? I'm not paying for it, beside my brother's suit is going to have shiny pants in a year and mine will still look brand new for the next ten years.
She looked over at my brother and said, "Really, next time, let him pick out your suit."
Money is like air. breathe it in, breathe it out. When you have it spend it, use it, create something. When you don't have it, be frugal, learn to make do with less.
Talk about it? Yeah, theoretical discussions about money, the agreement of the variable value of energy is interesting stuff. Price of stuff? Barbie really this convo is not terribly kicky.
That's my take.