Personal Summaries

LadyRebecca summarized

My husband and I have been married for almost 11 years. We have an 8 year old daughter. We've been theoretically open for about 4 or 5 years, what I like to call arm-chair-poly. My husband has been in a long distance emotionally intimate relationship for about 4 with the knowledge that when we got back to the States (we lived overseas for those years) their relationship would become a physically sexual relationship. So upon our arrival back in the States, she offically became our first "other." We are a V with my husband in the middle. She is wonderful and I love her but am not sexually attracted to her.

I honestly don't know how to define my sexuality. I am primarily hetero but I think that the female body is beautiful and desire worthy. I love boobs and I think kissing a woman's face (no stubble) would be amazing. However, if it goes any farther than that, I loose interest pretty quickly. A friend said I was a "boobisexual." That's probably as good a description as any.

I think bi-curious would be the best way to describe my husband. Or he'd be bi for the right guy, might be a better way of putting it. Since I am currently fascinated with the idea of US having a boyfriend, that works for me. Right now, in the midst of NRE (my diagnosis, not his), he feels like serious relationships with two women is enough for him. He's not opposed to more casual encounters but he's not looking either.

His girlfriend is bi-sexual and has expressed intrest in me but is not pushy about it. She's not sure if she's poly or not.

We are out to my sister and some friends who are long distance. Some family suspects but are too repressed to ask actual questions. His gf lives in a small town where there could be very real consequences to coming out (though ironically, she just has one boyfriend so what the hell's the problem?). My husband and I are more willing to be out here in our larger city but it will cause issues with my parents and extended family. Not sure yet how much backlash I'm willing to deal with. But I'm also shit at keeping secrets so I'm working on being ready for maximum shit storm.
Novice Introduction

Hi there. I am a 42 year old bisexual woman in Colorado. I met an amazing married couple a year ago and our 'fun' times eventually became the real deal. Love. We are all new to the polyfidelitous triad relationship. I am trying to read everything that I can with respect to our relationship to learn from others' wisdom regarding seemingly simple matters such as communication.
Just us!

Me and my husband, have been together for17 years. At one time we had a live in girl friend. Well she wasn't able to be in the relationship and we just haven't looked since. The kids are getting older and I miss having our third it just felt so right to have that amount of love in our home. The only thing is I'm older now and I'm not sure how to go about finding someone. She kinda fell in our laps. So i'm here to get advice on how to get out there and find the other person or persons to share life and love with us.
new to poly lifestyle

i am the third in a poly relationship. my couple has been together over 40 years. the three of us for going on 4 years. we were all involved in the swing lifestyle prior to meeting (is how we met) and continue to be, separately and together. this has become a very committed long term relationship that none of us were actually looking for. but it works for us for the most part.

being new to it and as the third has presented some challenges and i'm hoping finding more people in this or similar situations might help me to understand the dynamics and the options for surpassing the challenges.
New to the lifestyle

Hi my husband and i are new to the lifestyle. we have talked about it since we reunited before we got married. that was over 2 years ago. now we are looking for the next step. i read that someone read books, can anyone tell me where to look:p
Just Tise

Hello :)
I'm Tise, 29, single(ish) mother of two little girls.
I am defiantly Pan-sexual. I don't know how to describe my current relationship status. I have lovers who come and go as they please I suppose. "X" introduced me to the Poly lifestyle, and I'm trying to figure out where I fit. I'm starting to learn that being Poly is just as personal as how my clothing fits or my spirituality.
I'm not here to meet Chicks, or Guys or anything, I'm here to try to learn.
Be blessed :)
A man at large in a very strange world

I am a man, mid thirties, now living in the UK as a travelling storyteller leather worker, festival rigger, performer, juggling teacher, mobile cafe manager and general vagabond. I like old things and belive that many of the old ways of living hold valuable lessons for this age of environmentally desasterous post industrial capitalist mess. Friends call me a luddite hobbit-like victorian highwayman. This is a fairly accurate description as it goes.

How I came to this situation from a being very conventional (conservative?) suburban Liberal Arts student is a much longer story. :rolleyes: Do ask if you are interested. :D

I am married, though estranged, and this estrangement is what led me to the consept of polyamoury and a general questioning of the nature of relationships. Currently I have a very close loving sexually intimate frendship with a beautiful supportive and surprising women. I am blessed to share loving friendships with several other people on a mostly non sexual basis, though this state can and does constantly shift.

Though not new to the concept of polyamoury, I am limited in experience and am looking to learn and share with people on all levels.
A Unicorn?

Hello all. We just joined and would like to introduce ourselves.

This account and related email address is actually used only for poly related things for 4 people. We are all brand new as polyamorous. Brand new as in "a month ago". (We've all known and been at least casually friendly with polyamorous folks in the past so the while concept isn't entirely new considering it a personal option *is*.)

Also, we're pretty firmly in the closet right now at least until we figure out our relationship, so we're not using real names.

We are two couples, James & Mary and John (me) & Trish. Each couple met young and have a very strong bond. We've been married to our respective spouses for well over 10 years, have kids, etc.

We've been friends for a while and we all knew there was a deeper connection and wanted to develop a closer friendship. A bit over a month ago Mary and Trish were having a frank conversation about sex drive and sexual fantasies and Mary brought up the idea that the four of us could be sexually compatible. None of us really wanted to "swing" (defined as "casual and fairly anonymous sex") but were interested in experimenting with friends. So, we got together for a night of friendly sex, started to realize just how completely compatible we are and WHAM! We weren't expecting the emotion and intensity. "Friendly sex" turned in to "what the hell is this emotion? This is awesome!". A week later we were discovering and admitting that this looks a lot like polyamory.

Mary is bi but (I think) prefers men -- at least she doesn't want to give men up. Trish is still trying to figure it out (she's at least hetroflexible). James and I have no sexual interest in each other but feel a strong bond between us. Trish is really connecting with James and I am with Mary but we feel that this compliments our primary paring, not replaces it. We've been really enjoying the connection (emotional and sexual) that we've been forming between all four of us. We don't date separately, we go all together. We're not interested in anyone outside of our quad -- we're allowing a loving and romantic relationship to grow, but we're really not sure what that will end up looking like.

We've been avidly reading what we can while still recognizing that we're making things up as we go along. A lot of what we read in other sources is about triads or dating outside the primary relationship. While there are interesting lessons there, neither of these seems particularly applicable to us. We're hungry to hear of other experiences similar to ours, books, links, articles, whatever. We're reading "The Ethical Slut" and looking for other ways to get information.

I'm a 22 year old woman, my husband and I have been married for four years and we have a two year old son. We love each other and are very happy. We have a close mutual friend who we've been friends with for many years, he's our son's godfather, he is considered part of our family and I love him. I love him more (and differently) than I probably should as just a friend, at least from a monogamous view point.

I've talked with my husband about my feelings and thoughts about polyamory and my attraction to our friend and he is thinking over his response. Waiting to hear what he has to say is so hard. It's been nearly a week now.

So, I'm here to talk about the possiblity of changing the nature of our relationship and meeting like other minded people.... because everyone else I've tried to talk to about it has been quite offended about the whole idea.

I know that even if my husband agrees that there is a good chance that our friend won't be interested but I feel like if I don't take a chance I will forever regret it.

Hello all! I am here in hopes to talk to like minded individuals. Normally I would just lurk but I have trouble finding information on my specific situation. I am 22 and have a girlfriend of 3 years and a newer girl over the internet just recently. I wish everyone the best and want to be an active part of this community.
Thank you
Ello All,

My name is Lor, I am a demipansexual, and currently in a poly relationship with three wonderful men. We refer to ourselves as the foundation, although I'm not sure how common this is seeing how we don't know many other poly people. We live in Houston, TX and not currently seeking other partners but open to the idea, although, we prefer men.

I'm not sure how to classify my experience with poly but if forced to put a label I'd say expert. I think. I've only ever had polyamorous relationships and one monogamous. The mono relationship I found boring, boring, boring, boring, and did I mention boring?

I am not an outgoing person by nature but with my career I've sort of blossomed into the role when need be. I prefer to stay at home and write my delicious man on man books and ask my men to act out scenes for me. It's purely research, I swear. Accuracy and all. Accuracy. I do enjoy going out for the occasional dance night and drunken debotury in the restroom.

I learned to ride horses at the age of six and still ride them today although now I own two. Animals are a key part in my life and I love all of mine dearly.

As to anything else about me I'm not really sure what to say so if you've any questions feel free to ask.
We are a happily married couple of 26 years, we are in our late 40's. So far we have only talked about adding a 3rd party, and I suppose we will be asking another female to join us. What we are looking for is a girlfriend for us both to date, and maybe later be a second wife (but not married. I don't know the correct term right now). Its probably gonna be tough to find someone we both click with, I'm the one who needs to have a bond first. He loves women, thinks they are the greatest thing since peanut butter :) . He has no preference, he finds something he likes about all of them.
We are both straight but are willing to try something new. He has the usual mens fantasy of 2 women together and I'm willing, so no problem there. We both look at women, I point them out to him and vise versa.
The problem is just finding someone right now. We're not much into the group things, and we have to be careful because things like this is not done in our social group.
Hey and hello

Hi, I'm Picottee from Asheville, NC. I've been in some sort of open relationship for much of my life, which is long. I'm finding the "newspeak" interesting and sometimes strange. Years ago we just forged our arrangements one at a time with the rules being between the participants and little formal language.

I'm currently in what I call "transparent relationship" with three men, which means that they all know what they need and want to know about each other. Otherwise I live alone and am happy that way. Because I've been what you now call poly for so long, I passed the point of angst many years ago. I have a jubilant nature and love easily and am enjoying this exploration in my later years.
Hello Everyone

My name's Keeke, I'm in the New Orleans area. I joined the group to exchange communication with like-minded people. I am currently in a long-term relationship of three years. While I have always considered myself poly, only recently have I returned to my romantic roots. My primary on the other hand is still trying to understand the dynamics of the poly lifestyle and cope with the difference between it and swinging.

I am bi-sexual, grabbing my attention begins with the mind. I'd love to make new friends, explore the myriad of possibilities of free love, as I see it. I look forward to growing in the group and getting to know you better.

Hi. I am really new to this, so please forgive my awkwardness. Up until two months ago I was a single mother of three trying to move forward, and utterly miserable in my singleness. Then I met a couple. I have never thought about poly anything (except what you would expect in catholic school). Now I find myself as a "second primary" in a Vee. ( I am pretty sure that's the right terminology). Now I am trying desperately to catch up. My boyfriend and his girlfriend have been doing this for a while, but it's hard to ask question after question feeling like you should already understand.
sept. 25,2012

hi i am new to this so bare with machelle 36 and married to wonderful man, Lannie 40 . i am bisexual and my hubby is good with that. we have talked about adding a second wife to our lives since before we were married 3yrs ago. we are very open,honest and we share every thing togather. i have always wanted a husband and a wife. we are simple people but but dont get me wrong..we are freaks in the bedroom ! lol we both have very sexual apitites and love to play. were are also fun loving and looking to add a special lady who wants to be an equal in our lives, hopefully for a permanent long term relationship. we live in a small town in central okla. so its not easy to find like minded ladies! we are still looking..still hoping to find her!
Hello everyone,

I'm very new to the poly amorous lifestyle. My boyfriend and I have talked about it a lot and I joined here to learn more about it. My ideal situation would be to have two boyfriends that I could possibly live with and see other men in terms of dating/lovers but I'm open to anything that comes my way.
Hi there

30 year old bi female, in a poly relationship of 3 years with my boyfriend. I'm currently not attached outside of my primary relationship, by boyfriend has newly found a secondary. I'd really love for us to date a woman together, but sadly we have very different standards. Just here looking for some support and solidarity.


I'm 41, a male hetero, who has been married for 15 years with two great kids, a boy and a girl. Here Looking for advice on how to successfully open up a monogamous marriage. I have been open to an open relationship for a long time and have just a little bit of experience being somewhat involved with an open couple before being married, my wife does not have any such experience.

I am considering going to counseling with her for this and to deal with some smaller issues. We actually have a very good relationship in most aspects and I want to do this now because we are at a strong point. This is not a last ditch effort to save the marriage, though I will say that from my point of view monogamy has made me less happy in some crucial areas which I no longer want to put off as unable to be salvaged. I would love to hear from anyone who has experience with going through counseling in specific.

All aspects of moving from mono to open and/or poly would be great to hear about. Thanks.