Polyamory Books, Magazines, Websites


My reviews of 10 poly books...

...are here:

http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/search/label/Book reviews by me

Covered there are:

Love Unlimited: The Joys and Challenges of Open Relationships, by Leonie Linssen and Stephan Wik

Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners, by Deborah Anapol

What Does Polyamory Look Like? Polydiverse Patterns of Loving and Living in Modern Polyamorous Relationships, by Mim Chapman

Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality, by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá

Polyamory in the 21st Century, by Deborah Anapol

Gaia and the New Politics of Love, by Serena Anderlini-d'Onofrio

The Ethical Slut, Second Edition, by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

The Polyamory Handbook: A User's Guide, by Peter J. Benson

Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, by Jenny Block

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, by Tristan Taormino

Listed in more or less reverse chronological order.


Alan M.


Active member
Alan, I will check out your reviews when I have time in the next few days. So, thank you. Meanwhile, off the top of your head (or anyone else's who has read these and cares to respond) do any of those books you listed, besides Opening Up (which I have), devote much to single, solo poly people? Most of the books about poly that I've found and perused at Barnes & Noble seem to focus on couples who decide to open their marriage. I do find the title Gaia and the New Politics of Love rather intriguing and will check out that review first, methinks.
Thanks for reading more of them and reviewing! I feel like I have a bookshelf of books (and old Loving More issues) but I know I could use another one or two tailored to my specific situation, and I'd enjoyed the reviews you'd written earlier.

I remember reading the beginning of "Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships" and being a bit put off by the sex focused "raunchy" atmosphere created in the first few pages (I want more people to be poly, but I don't want them to be scared off if they are vanilla-ish, so would I freak people out by recommending it with all the great advice and checklists it has if they can't get past the first chapter?!?!?!?)

Look forward to reading the new reviews tomorrow!


New member
Lots more reading to do... Whew!!

Just want to say thank you for the book recomendations and the conversation. After leaving my long-term marriage in 2007 I've been glancing at Poly as a possibility. Being a Pagan Esoteric Spiritualist, Sociologist, and a healer I am very interested in continuing my studies on "Sacred Sexuality," with the inclusion of what Polyamory has to offer. These books (and links) will add much to my efforts... Thank you and Blessed Be.


New member
I'm reading a new book: The Art and Etiquette of Polyamory: a Hands-on Guide to Open Sexual Relationships by Francoise Simpere. The English language version is a 2011 copyright and I think it's original date in France is 2007.

So far, so good. But I can definitely see the French cultural influence. I'll be back when I'm done to let you know what I think. I'd like to know what others think about it, too. :)



New member
My favorite poly book

My absolute favorite poly book has to be "What Does Polyamory Look Like?" by Mim Chapman (first referenced in Alan7388's top-10 list in this thread).

This book was instrumental in helping me recognize and broaden my understanding of various different types of poly relationships, from pair-based relationships to inwardly-focused groups, chains (V,N,W,...,S), etc. It's not an "apologetics"-style of book, i.e. it's not trying to justify or rationalize polyamory. Rather, it's focused on giving a practical advise to people that are already poly but trying to understand what types of relationships suit them best.

For me, it was the right book at the right time. It also helped me and my wife to draft our very first "poly agreement", and to do a MUCH BETTER job at it than we would have otherwise! While many of the concepts may be obvious to those that have been poly for many years, I highly recommend it to anyone that considers themselves relatively new to polyamory (like me). :)


New member
What kind of Websites would you recommend and why?

As an attempt to direct our viewers and readers to come here to find information I am hoping that people will fill this sticky with not only their favourite books but their favourite websites also. That way we can direct people here for a wide range of information on what is out there for them to find support, info and different perspectives on poly.

Please tell us what your favourite sites are and why? :) thanks!
If the Buddha Dated
This is a book I've found helpful, read several times over the last 7 years, and shared with with a lot of people I've cared about. It is not actively about poly at all (and indeed, does seem to be geared towards finding "the one", but I've found it good for dealing with dating "the ones"), but is at least not slanted towards heterosexual relationships. It has helped remind me of the importance of being authentic and true to myself when forming new relationships.

I suppose I'll say a bit about why I think this is a useful book. For me, I think this is great for those of us who have occasions of worry or insecurity (those ones stemming from "no-good-reason") within a relationship, and I often open to anywhere randomly and find some perspective that calms me right down.

Luckily I haven't had much of this other stuff in my life, but it seems to have lots of helpful reflections I'd take for people who have trouble finding healthy relationships or are finding themselves unsure if a partner is a good fit or not. It's got good advice on how to figure out where to draw personal boundaries for yourself, if you find you have conflicted feelings about defining them with partners/etc.


New member
Not sure this will help but I have a copy of The Ethical Slut that's no longer needed so if anyone wants I can forward it to them. It was a good read but I found it didn't really have what I was looking for in our situation. Most of the books I've found useful are general relationship books rather than poly specific.
I have another book recommendation that I heard of on another poly forum. I think it would be handy for any relationship that is struggling with communication at all, though due to it's nature probably best for heterosexual ones.

"How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words" by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny.

I think if I had read it a few years ago it would've smoothed a lot of the road to our way back to re-opening our relationship. My husband actually read it without me asking it and found it helpful and accurate, which rarely happens, so I was extra impressed. I even feel like we are both a lot less prone to taking things personally since I got it a month ago, which has introduced a new layer of mellowness to our relationship that I really like.


New member
Poly / Mono mixed relationship resources

...because I'm the poly one ... I'm looking for books to help my husband understand how I feel and what I want.

There are a couple of specialty email lists:

PolyMono · Polyamorous/Monogamous Support
"This is a support group for monogamous people in a committed relationship with someone who is polyamorous."

livingpolymono · Polyamorists with Monogamous Partners
"This list supports all people concerned with the challenges of poly/mono relating. However, it exists primarily to provide support to polyamorous people with monogamous partners."


New member
How to be An Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo

This book talks about practical ways to develop mature, adult relationships both working with yourself and how you interact with others. I really enjoy his perspective.


New member
I love Pagan Polyamory: Building a Tribe of Hearts I think that is a great and easy read. There are really useful things "to do" and I love the way the chapters are organised.

While this (obviously!) a book for pagans, there is info in it about what Kaldera refers to as the "demons of polyamory" that would be helpful for any poly peson to read as well as for mono partners who are struggling.


New member
By request, I'm copying some recommendations here that I posted elsewhere.

I've also read Pagan Polyamory by Raven Kaldera, and enjoyed it. I found it fairly gentle to a hesitant, frightened newbie.

I thought that everyone on the internet had seen (and quoted) this site, but I didn't see it here, so Franklin Veaux's site at http://www.xeromag.com/franklin.html has a lot of helpful articles. He also has a site called More Than Two.

I really enjoy reading Polyamorous Misanthrope columns. She's got some great common sense answers to polyamorous questions. http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/

There is a lot of information about polyamory in the news here http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ and usually at least one reference to a book worth reading. I think I actually saw this link already in this thread, but I find an enormous amount of reading at Alan's site, so I'll second it.

I *think* I also saw http://www.lovemore.com/ in here somewhere, but I can't quite remember, so I'm putting it in again. I'm not as familiar with this site, but it seems quite kind but helpful.


New member
if someone has already posted this book, my sincere apologies. I didn't really want to look through 11 pages of posts merely to find out.

my favorite book on polyamory is "polyamory: roadmaps for the clueless and hopeful," it is the best book on down to earth problems and benefits you will encounter. The author is anthony ravenscroft.