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Deleted member 157725
Guest
Yes. Control of the muscles individually. Precisely.
ultimately I want a diagram and some way of identifying exactly what I'm doing.
Yes. Control of the muscles individually. Precisely.
ultimately I want a diagram and some way of identifying exactly what I'm doing.
nycindie
Active member
Can't you just do it with a mirror propped up in front of you to see what you're doing?Yes. Control of the muscles individually. Precisely.
Well, she's talking vagina. Unless she's got a speculum, a mirror isn't going to show her anything up inside. A mirror just shows the vulva: labia and clitoris.
Bluebird
Well-known member
I think I have crazy strong vaginal muscles. I've never done kegels or any other sort of workout for my private parts though. I have had many partners remark on how strong I clench down on their dicks - one in particular was VERY negative about it and made me feel like I was a freak. We only had sex a few times because I didn't appreciate the negativity. My vagina has pulled off condoms and actually bruised a couple of penises in the past. My most recent ex often wondered if my inside equipment was different than other women, but as far as what my gynecologist says, everything appears normal and in working order. My muscles are just amazing, I suppose. Lol
I have never heard of either term used by the original poster.
I have never heard of either term used by the original poster.
You sound just like me, BB, except I've never bruised a penis, since I make them withdraw for a couple seconds when I cum hard.
I've also fully realised lately that I have an extra long vagina. Way back in college, I had a student GYN exclaim, Wow, your cervix is really up there! My present GYN surgeon had the same reaction and had to place an extra long speculum in me to view the cervix and upper part of my vag.
I'm glad I realised this finally, since it explains why I so prefer well endowed men. It makes me feel less greedy. I am so much more satisfied when a man can fill me up. I can make do with an average 5.5" cock OK, especially if he's good with his hands and mouth and toys, but recent lovers who have been 7-10" feel so much better. I noticed Darkwing, who was 10," had no trouble burying himself in me up to the hilt. Nick was 8" and thick and it felt so great. (No, I don't bring tape measures into the bedroom, I just have a practiced eye for length lol.)
Bluebird
Well-known member
My husbands both know to push in hard when I am cumming, or else they'll be pushed out.
I actually think I have a shorter than normal vaginal passage, which is good for guys with small dicks, I guess. lol Normal sized penises need to be careful or they'll bump my cervix, which I don't appreciate. Longer guys aren't something I seek out.
I actually think I have a shorter than normal vaginal passage, which is good for guys with small dicks, I guess. lol Normal sized penises need to be careful or they'll bump my cervix, which I don't appreciate.
Longer guys aren't something I seek out.
Spork
Active member
I would be interested in learning more about what these exercises are, and how they are done, and if anyone has written about them being great or what the effects were for them, etc.
I'm interested/curious.
If I'm being completely honest, I'm not totally secure about the state of affairs down yonder since having my kids. My ex was generously endowed and has said some rather cruel things about my anatomy although he sure seemed to enjoy it when he had use of it. And I'm presently playing with more average sized equipment (which I actually prefer, because other forms of penetrative sex are more fun and easy)...my lover seems to enjoy me, but I'm never really sure. It's a point of insecurity for me, certainly. Along with other changes to my body since childbirth (such as actually losing 2 cup sizes after breastfeeding.)
Long story short, I guess if any kind of exercises could really improve the situation, I'd be willing to give 'em a shot. I've read medical opinions going either way regarding Kegels, that they work and that they don't. So, I dunno.
I'm interested/curious.
If I'm being completely honest, I'm not totally secure about the state of affairs down yonder since having my kids. My ex was generously endowed and has said some rather cruel things about my anatomy although he sure seemed to enjoy it when he had use of it. And I'm presently playing with more average sized equipment (which I actually prefer, because other forms of penetrative sex are more fun and easy)...my lover seems to enjoy me, but I'm never really sure. It's a point of insecurity for me, certainly. Along with other changes to my body since childbirth (such as actually losing 2 cup sizes after breastfeeding.)
Long story short, I guess if any kind of exercises could really improve the situation, I'd be willing to give 'em a shot. I've read medical opinions going either way regarding Kegels, that they work and that they don't. So, I dunno.
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Deleted member 157725
Guest
The only extra bit of information I can give you is I have heard of these exercises being used to help with vaginisis, I know little else of it. hope that helps. We could possibly start a thread discussing what is and isn't working? A study group perhaps? I can't contribute much at present though, I'm stuck in bed with a cast on my leg and my GAD is really bad right now so it's best I leave my partners alone, my constant demands for validation when I'm like this drive them insane!
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Deleted member 157725
Guest
Thinking about it, maybe if I can find some sort of physio therapist or whatever who can treat vaginisis, maybe I can get lessons :-D
Bluebird
Well-known member
That's the thing - I've never had biological children, so my body has only been changed by the cheese danishes I eat too much of all the time. I think a lot of guys that I sleep with are used to vaginas which have pushed out babies. So maybe mine isn't all that awesome or different, just not altered in that way.
Giving birth does not change the tone of your vagina. Vaginas are very elastic. They can squish down to accomodate something the diameter of a pencil, a finger, a tampon, and they can, and do, expand to birth 10 pound babies.
Lack of exercise, and having many many babies, say 5 or more, in short order, can cause uterine prolapse, occasionally. That means the uterus drops down into the vagina because the ligaments supporting it have become overstretched from frequent multiple pregnancies.
But your vagina? It snaps back to normal diameter in a couple days after birth, just like your uterus does. Your uterus goes from accomodating a baby, amniotic fluid, and placenta, down to something resembling a pear. Nature is smart. If your vag couldn't contract efficiently around a penis during sex after a kid or two, the penis would likely not be able to function and ejaculate, and there would be no conception. Our species would not thrive.
That said, perhaps there are differences in diameters of vaginas between women who never have sex/masturbate/orgasm, and women who have more normal sex lives. I am not aware of studies. But that is not the case with us gals, we aren't nuns! I would say that doing Kegels instead of sex/masturbation/orgasm would suit, but it's not as much fun! And Kegels are more for the pelvic floor, a muscle shaped like this: 8, along the bottom of your reproductive organs and rectum, anyway.
Lack of exercise, and having many many babies, say 5 or more, in short order, can cause uterine prolapse, occasionally. That means the uterus drops down into the vagina because the ligaments supporting it have become overstretched from frequent multiple pregnancies.
But your vagina? It snaps back to normal diameter in a couple days after birth, just like your uterus does. Your uterus goes from accomodating a baby, amniotic fluid, and placenta, down to something resembling a pear. Nature is smart. If your vag couldn't contract efficiently around a penis during sex after a kid or two, the penis would likely not be able to function and ejaculate, and there would be no conception. Our species would not thrive.
That said, perhaps there are differences in diameters of vaginas between women who never have sex/masturbate/orgasm, and women who have more normal sex lives. I am not aware of studies. But that is not the case with us gals, we aren't nuns! I would say that doing Kegels instead of sex/masturbation/orgasm would suit, but it's not as much fun! And Kegels are more for the pelvic floor, a muscle shaped like this: 8, along the bottom of your reproductive organs and rectum, anyway.
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Deleted member 157725
Guest
Totally agree. It's more like working out how to lift one eye brow than trying to develop a huge muscular mono brow. It's precision not strength. The stretching myth is really damaging and awful.
Spork
Active member
Well, I would love to agree with you, but I can only do so to a point and no further.
Thing is, while I cannot speak to um...diameter... I can say that much as stretch marks tend to be permanent, following a trauma like passing a baby through there, it is possible that the body as it heals and recovers, won't return to exactly the same state as before. I can say for absolute fact that the external appearance of my ladybits has changed. In addition to alterations to shape and form somewhat, the coloration of skin tone in areas darkened. I was told by Fire, when I told her that I don't like how I look in comparison to other women in this regard, that the coloration in particular is common to mothers and that I shouldn't feel odd or uncomfortable about it at all.
But I can wish all day that my body looked just as it did when I was 18 and had never given birth, it will not make it so. And as I'm not one to put great sums of money (even supposing I had such) into cosmetic surgery to "repair" all of my parts, I must make do with what I have as best I may. I consider myself fortunate, actually, since it's very common on both sides of my family for women to experience hard to control weight gains after children...and I didn't. So, my shape in general is fairly healthy even if it's not very womanly.
Long story short though, I don't think that there has been proper study done on the subject and I don't think that it's entirely a myth. I think that things contract down again, but not to quite the state they were before. Probably there are factors that make one's individual skin and tissue elasticity and healing vary, too.
Thing is, while I cannot speak to um...diameter... I can say that much as stretch marks tend to be permanent, following a trauma like passing a baby through there, it is possible that the body as it heals and recovers, won't return to exactly the same state as before. I can say for absolute fact that the external appearance of my ladybits has changed. In addition to alterations to shape and form somewhat, the coloration of skin tone in areas darkened. I was told by Fire, when I told her that I don't like how I look in comparison to other women in this regard, that the coloration in particular is common to mothers and that I shouldn't feel odd or uncomfortable about it at all.
But I can wish all day that my body looked just as it did when I was 18 and had never given birth, it will not make it so. And as I'm not one to put great sums of money (even supposing I had such) into cosmetic surgery to "repair" all of my parts, I must make do with what I have as best I may. I consider myself fortunate, actually, since it's very common on both sides of my family for women to experience hard to control weight gains after children...and I didn't. So, my shape in general is fairly healthy even if it's not very womanly.
Long story short though, I don't think that there has been proper study done on the subject and I don't think that it's entirely a myth. I think that things contract down again, but not to quite the state they were before. Probably there are factors that make one's individual skin and tissue elasticity and healing vary, too.
Spork, I'm sorry honey but you're just wrong.
Sure, you skin pigmentation often changes during pregnancy. Nipples darken, you can get patches on your face, a pigmented treasure trail from navel to pubic area, and you've experienced a change of color of your labia.
(I read once your nipples darken, they never go back. But mine did return to their lighter pink color after all 3 of my pregnancies.)
But your vagina and uterus do return to their former shapes. Your husband is a psycho and a misogynist, if he used those kinds of words to demean you. Those excuses for men that mock their partners, or women in general, by asserting fucking them is like "tossing a hot dog down the Holland Tunnel" are shitheads like Donald Trump.
Sure, you skin pigmentation often changes during pregnancy. Nipples darken, you can get patches on your face, a pigmented treasure trail from navel to pubic area, and you've experienced a change of color of your labia.
(I read once your nipples darken, they never go back. But mine did return to their lighter pink color after all 3 of my pregnancies.)
But your vagina and uterus do return to their former shapes. Your husband is a psycho and a misogynist, if he used those kinds of words to demean you. Those excuses for men that mock their partners, or women in general, by asserting fucking them is like "tossing a hot dog down the Holland Tunnel" are shitheads like Donald Trump.
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Deleted member 157725
Guest
Agreed. You deserve better than that.
Spork
Active member
Well, I HAVE better than that now, although I fear I'm not pleasing him as well as he's pleasing me, but we have half a dozen good reasons why this is the case, that don't have much to do with my anatomy. And he treasures me regardless, so I cannot complain.
I just feel like, if this changed and that changed, then why is it not possible that the other has, too? I mean OBVIOUSLY the diameter isn't something like a baby's skull for crying out loud, but I can see muscles and tissues maybe not returning exactly to their former youthful trim and tone. ?*shrug*? I think it's feasible, and I'd need some Science to tell me otherwise, with all due respect, and gratitude to you ladies for your reassurances.
And not to put too fine a point on it, but there are things I can do now, or rather have done TO me, that would have been distressingly uncomfortable to my younger and pre-baby self.
I generally try to have a clinical outlook on these things. I don't like to think of my value as a person being dictated by my sexual or feminine mojo, it honestly requires some mental gymnastics on my part to accept that a man finds me attractive in that way. I mean, find me some sapiosexual who is looking for a kooky character to goof off with, sure. But a man looking for a ~woman~...? Looking at me from the inside, I'm so very far disconnected from the body I pilot about that it sometimes startles me to look in the mirror.
So I observe changes, but as I said...with something of a clinical detachment and curiosity, usually. And again, if there is a way to maintain any part of me in better form, I'd be interested in knowing about it.
I just feel like, if this changed and that changed, then why is it not possible that the other has, too? I mean OBVIOUSLY the diameter isn't something like a baby's skull for crying out loud, but I can see muscles and tissues maybe not returning exactly to their former youthful trim and tone. ?*shrug*? I think it's feasible, and I'd need some Science to tell me otherwise, with all due respect, and gratitude to you ladies for your reassurances.
And not to put too fine a point on it, but there are things I can do now, or rather have done TO me, that would have been distressingly uncomfortable to my younger and pre-baby self.
I generally try to have a clinical outlook on these things. I don't like to think of my value as a person being dictated by my sexual or feminine mojo, it honestly requires some mental gymnastics on my part to accept that a man finds me attractive in that way. I mean, find me some sapiosexual who is looking for a kooky character to goof off with, sure. But a man looking for a ~woman~...? Looking at me from the inside, I'm so very far disconnected from the body I pilot about that it sometimes startles me to look in the mirror.
So I observe changes, but as I said...with something of a clinical detachment and curiosity, usually. And again, if there is a way to maintain any part of me in better form, I'd be interested in knowing about it.
FallenAngelina
Well-known member
But barring unusual circumstances, childbirth is not a trauma to a woman's body, it's normal. It requires recovery, but it's not damaging. I'm curious and doing some research on this, but it doesn't make sense that the vagina would forever be altered by one of it's basic evolutionary functions. Women are designed (evolutionarily speaking) to conceive and birth babies for most of their lives (again, evolutionarily speaking) so why would Mother Nature design the "conceive" part to function at a less satisfactory level after just one baby? I tend to agree with Magdlyn that the concept of a "tight young childless vagina" is an oft repeated but never proven myth. Just one of the many erroneous "facts" that are geared toward policing female sexuality.
"....it is strange how men never worry that their penis will be ruined after they have an erection, but women routinely worry that their lady parts will be permanently stretched out after having a baby....A penis can get bigger and can shrink back down with no ill effects. A vagina can stretch and move and then go back to normal too. Your partner was designed to do that, and you are designed well too."Will my vagina go back to normal after having a baby?" is YES, it will. The female body wasn't meant to be broken in two by the act of birth. If this were the case our species would have been short lived and wouldn't have ever reached this point of population. Obviously we work and are capable of giving birth numerous times. Not only are women capable of giving birth- they are capable of satisfying their partners AFTER they have had a baby! Yes, you will recover. Yes, you will heal. Yes, you will look the same again. Giving birth doesn't ruin us or our bodies or our vaginas."
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Yes, exactly. Giving birth is not "trauma." It's normal. Good analogy about a penis expanding and contracting without harm!
As for "science," my credentials are: I had a c section with my first birth, and vaginal home births for my next 2 pregnancies, assisted by midwives. I have researched a TON on birthing and breastfeeding because of my self directed pregnancies and births. I joined the international lactation organisation La Leche League in 1986. I become a Leader for that org in 1992, and continued for 25 years, teaching pregnant and new moms about natural birth and breastfeeding. I've read probably 200 or more books on the processes of reproduction and lactation. I have led 12-24 LLL meetings per month in that time frame. I have spoken on these topics 7 times at our 3 state area yearly conferences, informing that many more new parents on various things related to birthing and breastfeeding. I did more training and became a Board Certified Lactation Consultant as well.
I know whereof I speak.
GreenAcres
New member
For what it's worth, this is true for me, as well, but I have not had children. My guess on this is that it's more about my comfort level and ability to relax and not freak out, as well as having developed the habit of using more lube now than I did when I was 20. And, that my partner(s) take more time to get me ready, because we're all a lot more patient and experienced that I suspect we were in our youths.
Spork
Active member
OK, well I don't want to get too damned explicit here but I am TELLING you that there is flesh from the upper wall of the vaginal canal itself that USED to be quite politely tucked away within, which NOW is sort of "pushed out" looking, since my second birth, which was accelerated using pitocin and my epidural didn't work and it was painful as HELL but at least rather fast. The very appearance even from the outside is permanently different, not only in coloration but as I say, in form, this happened fifteen years ago, it has recovered as much as it's ever going to, I am fairly freaking sure.
I cannot speak to your body. But I can tell you that mine is most definitely different.
EDIT: Forgot, also, with my first, there was a lot of tearing and I had stitches. I have scars.
Now, I'm fortunate in that I did moisturize the heck out of my stretch marks so they aren't bad, my belly looks nice, but I also lost literally 2 cup sizes (C to A) after breastfeeding, and I'm told by the cosmetic surgeon who removed the small benign tumor on my nose (it grew back when it healed, yay me, another lifelong disfigurement to live with) that women often have breast enhancement surgery because of changes post babies.
I decided however that it is far more in character for me to get tattoos than it is for me to get a boob job, I am not trying to look like Barbie for godssakes so I can deal with how feminine clothing doesn't look right on me and my body's silhouette does not quite go in and out in all the right places.
Oh.
Well.
Mostly this stuff doesn't bug me, once in a while it does, a little. Usually when I'm at the dungeon, looking on with all of the other onlookers at a perfect young female body the likes of which one might move heaven and earth to possess...it makes me sad both that there are a LOT of humans I share my world with, that would assess my personal value and hers and any woman's on such a basis, as WELL as the fact that I'll never have that kind of value no matter what I do in life, to, well, frankly, most of humanity. I don't know whether I'm upset at me for not being "pretty" or the whole fecking world for thinking it's so important. I personally see a lot of beauty in so many kinds of people, give me a sharp intellect, a creative soul, a kind spirit...and you can keep the physical perfection of youth, I am not interested. But that makes me some kind of oddball with odd kinks, because most of...people...especially males who are "visual" won't agree with me. Am I bitter because I'm jealous, or am I bitter that my values are unnatural and not share by humanity? Big questions for a thread about vaginas.
At its starkest and most depressing, there is all of that.
Which is why I said "fuck all that shit" and jumped off that scale and onto one where I reframe the whole damn situation and judge myself on character, on ethics, on smarts, on humor, on kindness to self and others, on literally ANYTHING but womanly good looks. If my appearance is not serving a function, usually to express my personality, then it is time I won't usually be wasting. But if I could do something to myself to better please my partner, specifically, then I might be willing to give it a go, so long as it isn't TOO much trouble.
But I wander, ramble and generally digress (bad habit of mine) and the bottom line is, whether it makes me weird in yet another way or not, I really do think that having the kids changed my body in a number of ways. On the bright side, my G spot became much more accessible during and after my pregnancies than it ever was previously. That's nice. Sex actually feels a lot better for me now than it did when I was younger.
I cannot speak to your body. But I can tell you that mine is most definitely different.
EDIT: Forgot, also, with my first, there was a lot of tearing and I had stitches. I have scars.
Now, I'm fortunate in that I did moisturize the heck out of my stretch marks so they aren't bad, my belly looks nice, but I also lost literally 2 cup sizes (C to A) after breastfeeding, and I'm told by the cosmetic surgeon who removed the small benign tumor on my nose (it grew back when it healed, yay me, another lifelong disfigurement to live with) that women often have breast enhancement surgery because of changes post babies.
I decided however that it is far more in character for me to get tattoos than it is for me to get a boob job, I am not trying to look like Barbie for godssakes so I can deal with how feminine clothing doesn't look right on me and my body's silhouette does not quite go in and out in all the right places.
Oh.
Well.
Mostly this stuff doesn't bug me, once in a while it does, a little. Usually when I'm at the dungeon, looking on with all of the other onlookers at a perfect young female body the likes of which one might move heaven and earth to possess...it makes me sad both that there are a LOT of humans I share my world with, that would assess my personal value and hers and any woman's on such a basis, as WELL as the fact that I'll never have that kind of value no matter what I do in life, to, well, frankly, most of humanity. I don't know whether I'm upset at me for not being "pretty" or the whole fecking world for thinking it's so important. I personally see a lot of beauty in so many kinds of people, give me a sharp intellect, a creative soul, a kind spirit...and you can keep the physical perfection of youth, I am not interested. But that makes me some kind of oddball with odd kinks, because most of...people...especially males who are "visual" won't agree with me. Am I bitter because I'm jealous, or am I bitter that my values are unnatural and not share by humanity? Big questions for a thread about vaginas.
At its starkest and most depressing, there is all of that.
Which is why I said "fuck all that shit" and jumped off that scale and onto one where I reframe the whole damn situation and judge myself on character, on ethics, on smarts, on humor, on kindness to self and others, on literally ANYTHING but womanly good looks. If my appearance is not serving a function, usually to express my personality, then it is time I won't usually be wasting. But if I could do something to myself to better please my partner, specifically, then I might be willing to give it a go, so long as it isn't TOO much trouble.
But I wander, ramble and generally digress (bad habit of mine) and the bottom line is, whether it makes me weird in yet another way or not, I really do think that having the kids changed my body in a number of ways. On the bright side, my G spot became much more accessible during and after my pregnancies than it ever was previously. That's nice. Sex actually feels a lot better for me now than it did when I was younger.