Possible Poly Book

DWF50

New member
Hello everyone. A friend and I are currently writing a book (trying to get a publishing deal) about polyamory. Called Move Over Monogamy, it's an exploration of polyamory through the ages, together with interviews with people engaged in polyamorous relationships, together with psychological insights and tips in how to successfully navigate polyamorous relationships. I have two questions at this point . . . is this something people here would be interested in reading and, also is this something people here would be interested in talking about in the book. All answers gratefully received. Thank you.
 

River

Active member
I love the idea of "an exploration of polyamory through the ages" ... if indeed it can be shown that polyamory has been around for ages. Has it? The word, polyamory, has only been around for a few decades. But that doesn't mean that folks weren't doing the thing, sans the label, for a long time prior. But, to my knowledge, no one has ever shown (as an historian would show) that there is a truly long history of relationship practice which qualifies as polyamorous. If you were to accomplish this you'd probably have a best seller.
 

River

Active member
PS -

There are very many unique and different forms of non-monogamy. Each has their familiar name these days. But those names were not necessarily used in the long ago. Nevertheless, the forms can be the same even if the name we generally apply today differs from the name it took in the long ago (if, indeed, it had one). Some animal species have had different names in different places and times, for example. But it is the same animal, regardless. It's important, when writing a history of polyamory, to keep this in mind.

Polygamy and Polyandry are forms of non-monogamy, for example, which may or may not also be forms of polyamory. (Only rarely, I'd suggest, has historical polygamy been identical with polyamory (as that term is generally defined today). See this for help on that distinction.: http://lovingwithoutboundaries.com/...en-polygamy-and-polyamory-lets-clear-this-up/

One crucial component of polyamory, per se, is that it in no way is defined by marriage or its absense. It is what it is, regardless of the presence or absense of marriage. All of the various -gamys are, by definition, about marriage.

To find historical examples of polyamory prior to the relatively recent coinage of that word will require firstly that one can draw a circular line with an inside and an outside, with the crucial and definitive components inside that line. This is largely a task for anthropology (and maybe sociology) -- but also of history. It may be useful to consult with some experts in these fields.
 
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kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Hello DWF50,

I would be interested in reading your book. I would also be willing to answer any questions you may have for me. Could be done right here on this thread, if that would work for you. I am in an MFM V, and as such I consider myself to be polyamorous.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 

DWF50

New member
Hi there, thank you for your comments, would definitely be up for talking more, via this thread works for me, will be posting a link for the book soon. It's via a crowdfunding literary agency, so the more pre-orders we get the more likely it is to get published.
 

opalescent

Active member
Polyamory hasn’t existed throughout the ages. Non-monogamy definitely has been around in various forms for millennia. But polyamory specifically is a relatively new historical development, only a few decades old.

Maybe skip the history part and focus on other aspects?
 

Alan7388

Member
What do you mean by "polyamory" through the ages? The word means "with the knowledge and consent of everyone affected," which, among other things, implies equality between the sexes (since in a serious power imbalance, free agreement is not really a thing). The framework for poly wasn't even in existence, really, until fairly modern times.

Either narrow your subject down to what the word means, or call it by a broader category, like open relationships. Like maybe, "Multi-Love Through the Ages: Open Relationships from Ancient Times to Dan Savage".
 

River

Active member
Polyamory hasn’t existed throughout the ages. Non-monogamy definitely has been around in various forms for millennia. But polyamory specifically is a relatively new historical development, only a few decades old.

This is what I was suspecting, but I could not be certain, as I certainly don't have a thoroughgoing knowledge of all world histories and cultures.

I would consider it quite possible that there may have been essentially polyamorous types of relationship in other times, prior to these last few decades. Most of what is called "history" is the history of so-called Western civilization. That history doesn't include the many other cultures which were not Western civilization. And so on....

Because what we call polyamory is so deeply rooted in, and dependent upon, an ethos of equality between the persons (regardless of gender) involved, it would not likely have come into being in a patriarchal (or even matriarchal) culture, but would more likely have arisen where power and responsibility is basically equally distributed.

Defined as such, since even modern America remains a largely patriarchal culture (for example), polyamory is more likely to emerge in/as a sub-culture than within the mainstream. But it could help shift the mainstream, too. And I think it is beginning to do just that.

Polyamory as we know it seems to have arisen out of a cultural milieu which draws a lot of influence and inspiration from the women's movement and feminism -- as well as other liberatory movements which flourished in the period from about 1955-1975. This would, of course, also include the African American Civil Rights Movement, the LGBT movement/s, "the Hippies", 60's counterculture....
 

River

Active member
PS -

I consider it quite possible that there has been polyamorous practice in earlier times than is generally recognized -- though not by that specific name. But not as part of a sub-cultural movement, as we now know it. That is, it is possible that it lived in a barely known, almost entirely invisible underground, similar to how "gay" men and "lesbian" women would manage to form deep and lasting bonds prior to "gay liberation". What we see now is a visible sub-culture which was able to become visible because of various liberatory movements which I have listed in my previous post.
 

DWF50

New member
Move Over Monogamy

Hello there and thank you for your comments. Definite food for thought here.

Move Over Monogamy by myself (Daniel Fryer) and Katherine Doggrell is available now for pre-order. It’s an exploration of polyamorous and other non-traditional types of relationship via interviews, essays and psychological insight.

It’s currently being advertised via Publishizer (the world’s first crowdfunding literary agency). At this stage, the more pre-orders we get, the more likely we are to secure a publishing deal.

In the past year alone, polyamory has graced the pages of Men’s Health, Grazia, Vogue, The Independent, The Economist, The Financial Times, and more.

Please help us to make this book a reality by pre-ordering a copy today or by sharing this link with your friends and colleagues.

Many thanks for your help in this endeavour.


https://publishizer.com/move-over-monogamy/
 

DWF50

New member
Move Over Monogamy

Hello there

Move Over Monogamy by myself (Daniel Fryer) and Katherine Doggrell is available now for pre-order. It’s an exploration of polyamorous and other non-traditional types of relationship via interviews, essays and psychological insight.

It’s currently being advertised via Publishizer (the world’s first crowdfunding literary agency). At this stage, the more pre-orders we get, the more likely we are to secure a publishing deal.

In the past year alone, polyamory has graced the pages of Men’s Health, Grazia, Vogue, The Independent, The Economist, The Financial Times, and more.

Please help us to make this book a reality by pre-ordering a copy today or by sharing this link with your friends and colleagues.

Many thanks for your help in this endeavour.


https://publishizer.com/move-over-monogamy/
 

opalescent

Active member
PS -

I consider it quite possible that there has been polyamorous practice in earlier times than is generally recognized -- though not by that specific name. But not as part of a sub-cultural movement, as we now know it. That is, it is possible that it lived in a barely known, almost entirely invisible underground, similar to how "gay" men and "lesbian" women would manage to form deep and lasting bonds prior to "gay liberation". What we see now is a visible sub-culture which was able to become visible because of various liberatory movements which I have listed in my previous post.

I think polyamory is a specifically Western creation. It could be applied to other cultures and other times but I think that is a mistake, and one really fraught with misunderstanding other cultures and time periods. Calling various types of non-monogamy in the past polyamory is just incorrect.
 

River

Active member
I think polyamory is a specifically Western creation. It could be applied to other cultures and other times but I think that is a mistake, and one really fraught with misunderstanding other cultures and time periods. Calling various types of non-monogamy in the past polyamory is just incorrect.

This is certainly a plausible notion. It may even be a fact. But I'm not sure that it is a fact. Certainly the word polyamory is of very recent (and Western) vintage. (One source dates the word to 1992! -- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terminology_within_polyamory)

What are the minimal criteria for a relationship practice being polyamory (whether or not that word is used to describe it)?

Please help to create a list ... now let's see here... hmm?

  • consent of all directly affected (involved?) parties
  • love (it's not just about sex, but about love)
  • ??


    Isn't the minimum requirement for it to be "polyamory" that (1) multiple loving relationships are accepted and welcomed and (2) these relationships are not concealed from the principle people involved ?

    If that's an adequate minimum definition, then I find it difficult to believe such consensual, loving non-monogamous relationships only came into being in the West at some time in the mid 20th century.

    But polyamory may not be reduced to such minimal terms (?).
 

River

Active member
There may, in some sense, be two polyamorys, with the first being reducible to a very succinct list such as the one I provided above and the second being entirely non-reducible to any simple list of criterion of this kind.

The second kind of polyamory would situate "polyamory" as a kind of social movement and sub-culture which seeks to provide a somewhat elaborate alternative to mainstream conventions and practices of ... well, love. (or loving relationships) As such, it would be a movement and sub-culture with an "alternative" set of values, such as those found here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Values_within_polyamory .

I don't think everyone who practices 'polyamory' in the first sense embraces polyamory in the second -- but probably most do. Nor do I think the word can be 'policed' in such a way that the word only applies to the second kind / type. Nor do I think everyone who belongs to the movement or subculture has an identical list of values and principals which define the movement / sub-culture. It is pluralistic, but but also largely harmonious and united.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Greetings Daniel,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Hopefully you will get the backing that you need for your project. And if you need any info/feedback from us, just let us know.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 

DWF50

New member
Move Over Monogamy

Hello there

Move Over Monogamy by myself (Daniel Fryer) and Katherine Doggrell is available now for pre-order. It’s an exploration of polyamorous and other non-traditional types of relationship via interviews, essays and psychological insight.

It’s currently being advertised via Publishizer (the world’s first crowdfunding literary agency). At this stage, the more pre-orders we get, the more likely we are to secure a publishing deal.

In the past year alone, polyamory has graced the pages of Men’s Health, Grazia, Vogue, The Independent, The Economist, The Financial Times, and more.

Please help us to make this book a reality by pre-ordering a copy today or by sharing this link with your friends and colleagues.

Many thanks for your help in this endeavour.


https://publishizer.com/move-over-monogamy/
 

lunabunny

New member
DWF50 - It sounds like an interesting read, however I'm not sure why you ask if anyone here would be interested in talking about the subject in the book, if it's already available for sale?
 

River

Active member
DWF50 - It sounds like an interesting read, however I'm not sure why you ask if anyone here would be interested in talking about the subject in the book, if it's already available for sale?

It seems to be some sort of alternative to the usual publishing deal, in which the yet unwritten or incomplete manuscript project is funded by "pre-orders".
 

DWF50

New member
Move Over Monogamy

Yes, that's right. Publishizer is a crowd-funding literary agency. The idea being the more pre-orders you can get the more likely a publishing deal is. To that end, I'm looking for people who would a: like to invest in the book and b: be interviewed for it if and when a deal is struck.

https://publishizer.com/move-over-monogamy/[/url]
 
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