Possibly moving to a cuckold or open relationship, need advice

Viz79

New member
Hi all, Im new to the site hello everyone! :)

I am just posting to ask for your thoughts on whats happening in our lives, as some part of me is really excited and another part a little nervous.

Basically my wife is from India and normally you would think she would be conservative and shy. But she is anything but - soon after marriage, she was happy for me to start taking snaps of her nude in bed etc which was amazing in itself. Later on our honeymoon, she wore a thong bikini with a see through sarong. She was nervous as it was her first time in anything skimpy but she did it so easily and it looked like she enjoyed wearing the bikini with her ass handing out.

In later holidays she seemed happy to wear amazingly short skirts out seems happy wearing racey things.

I then booked a photoshoot for her because she would love to do a little modelling sometime and got back some fantastic shots. However it looked like she was becoming turned on when she started wearing skimpy lingerie and thong bikinis for the shoot. She would shoot smouldering looks into the camera and you could hear her breathing deeply as she posed. Right towards the end of the shoot, she was being oiled up in her thong bikini when some other clients walked in. Some of them stared at her ass as she stood there preparing and she didnt even flinch.

A little while later I showed her some amateur nude sites where you can submit pics and you get prizes if you are wanted in the top three for a particular month. She was happy for me to submit nude pics of her that we had taken before, and then later read through the comments (although she did not comment on many of them), she would often ask back to read them. We intend to take some more and post then soon, and she seems happy to take hardcore ones of her body and her pussy happily showing.

She also wants to go back and have a glamour photoshoot taken where she wants to post nude and get some shots there. Realising she seemed happy to show her body off, I suggested we visit a nude beach next time we are on holiday and showed her a pic of another indian girl walking on a beach nude that I watched online. She saw it and when I said we should do it, she said laughed but again didnt say she wouldnt.

However as the months passed, she seemed more and more okay with it - recently has become even more comfortable with her nudity and is happy to go on holiday to an adult resort where there would be a nude beach.

Even more interesting is that she joined **********, where she was very popular selling custom strips and photos. Initially she was hesitant to do videos but recently she has been tempted by the money and is thinking about doing vids and even camming (which she didnt want to do at all before).

Im wondering if its because shes in her mid to late 20s, when her sex drive is starting to kick in. We started talking in bed after sex and we agreed that 'sex is just sex' so why not enjoy it outside and have lots of different experiences. She said it would be good to have sex with another man and then come back and chat to me about the stuff that they did, which would spice up our sex life (its been five years, its around that time that we need some variety!)

She also suggested I do the same, and I could do it before she did if I liked. I said that maybe we could just find a couple - but she seemed to not like that idea at the moment, and seemed happier with just finding partners each We talked candidly in the dark and before our conversations had was cloaked with humour in it, as if it wasnt serious, but this time there was some excitement that we might actually do it! I then asked her what sort of guy she would like, and she thought she would like to do it with a big muscled guy (she likes it rough and hard).

The reason I realised she was serious was she was half jokingly talking about all the messages she received on other sites, and the case she had made from pics, and wondered that if they were willing to give so much money for vids etc, how much they would pay to have sex with her. Her theory was that if she was going to fuck someone else anyway, why not get the to pay for it! Im not quite sure about whoring herself, but the last sentence made me think she was pretty much there in terms of sleeping with other guys.

I can only imagine the next thing is if she begins camming, she may end up chatting with some guy and sleeping with him. Turns me on massively to think about it, especially if I can get them to video it or if they let me watch! We were also thinking about going to an adult resort early next year where it would also me inevitable that that sort of thing would happen!! What do you guys think? This is her btw, shes very attractive :)

P.S We have a very loving and trusting relationship, I think thats a must for anything like this for sure.
 
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SchrodingersCat

Active member
So I'm hearing that you're really excited that your wife is so open and self-expressive. I'm not hearing what advice you're seeking.
 

Viz79

New member
Sorry, its more than I just have butterflies, , I suppose I was just asking what peoples thoughts were rather than any specific questions. Like for example if they had similar experiences etc.
 

TiagodaCruz

New member
Well... I guess that, as long as that behavior makes her happy and you feel comfortable with it, its all ok. I'm not sure it would be considered poly in those terms... more like an open relation (but who is to say what is the border). Poly seems to be different for different people, my concept requires emotional involvement from every party included, openness and honesty. An open relation is more like you describe (but you can also be in a poly open relation - I am).

Anyway names aren't all that important.

Seriously. As long as you are happy and able to adjust to all the new situations that might come, just do it. Its normal that at some point one gets more attention than the other. Balance it out and be merry. Love is an unending resource! (and sex is fun, enjoy it) ;)
 

graviton

New member
you two are approaching this strictly from a sexual perspective which is not really the focus of this forum. To most people involved in poly, sex is just one piece of the puzzle. We are focusing on committed emotional relationships where sex may or may not be part of the relationship. Are either of you willing to "allow" the other to fall in love with someone else? It doesn't sound like you've discussed the potential of have strong feelings and romantic interests in someone outside of your relationship. That potential is always there when you become sexual with someone. If that is out of the question you might be better served on a swingers forum. Another word of caution...it is good that you are excited about her having sex with other men. She is very pretty and will have no shortage of willing participants. Women generally have an easier time at finding sexual partners. Many times there male partners have a hard time with this because they do not have the same marketability among females. Do you think that you are able just sit on the sidelines with potentially no interested women for a long time while your wife has a line of men waiting for their turn with her? If that thought does not bother you and you are secure in your relationship with each other then by all means explore it. Just be sure the two of you communicate about expectations beforehand. Another thing to consider: I have heard that cuckold situations sometimes sound sexier then they actually are in real life. I have heard of men absolutely freaking out once they have realized the reality of what they agreed to. Good luck
 

CosmoMcKinley

New member
First off, kudos to your wife for overcoming her incredibly sex-negative cultural programming, and kudos to you for being there for her on her journey. Your step by step description of her blossoming was fantastic and inspirational.

That said, she runs the risk of moving too quickly I think. She may be like an Amish kid who's just had his first taste of a Hershey bar and wants to rush in to a candy shop to eat his fill but doesn't quite grok that he'll have a bellyache after.

Before jumping in to anything, I'd suggest finding a swinger's club near you that allows play on the premises. A good club will be a place where you have 100% control over your experience, as opposed to a random encounter. As another poster noted, a cuckold situation might seem sexy as hell in your mind, but one or both of you might find that its best left in the fantasy realm. My best advice would be to agree not to play at all on your first visit, just soak up the vibe and discuss your feelings afterward. Discovering the limits of ones own comfort zone is essential to most all forms of non-monogamy.

I couldn't find in the user rules if posting of links is permitted, so I'll just suggest that you google "the swinger's board." It may be a more appropriate forum to discuss your relationship at this stage.
 

nycindie

Active member
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vanquish

New member
So I'm hearing that you're really excited that your wife is so open and self-expressive. I'm not hearing what advice you're seeking.

Exactly. What's the question...or is this a "i'm excited and need to share" post?
 

WhatHappened

Active member
First off, kudos to your wife for overcoming her incredibly sex-negative cultural programming.

People have different values. It's rather judgmental to think that those who aren't doing these things are 'sex negative.'

I have to agree with others that there doesn't seem much poly about this situation. Poly is about relationships, not merely sex.
 

SchrodingersCat

Active member
People have different values. It's rather judgmental to think that those who aren't doing these things are 'sex negative.'

I think it was more a perception of conservative Indian cultural values.

But that confused me too, because how sex negative can any country be that invented the Kama Sutra?
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
I think it was more a perception of conservative Indian cultural values.

But that confused me too, because how sex negative can any country be that invented the Kama Sutra?

Things change. Countries that are now Jewish, Muslim, Christian, used to be polytheistic with strong goddess figures like Asherah, Istarte and Brigid.

Parts of India are now Muslim. Women have lost power everywhere since the days we were associated with mother earth and fertility and the power that conveyed.
 

SchrodingersCat

Active member
*sigh*

Is true.
 

nycindie

Active member
. . . how sex negative can any country be that invented the Kama Sutra?
You don't remember the controversy Richard Gere created a few years ago, when he hugged and kissed Shilpa Shetty (a gorgeous Bollywood actress) onstage? Conservative Indians filed suit against him. Some wanted him imprisoned, others called for his death - because a kiss in public is considered obscene in India.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6560371.stm
 

Becca

Member
I could be entirely off base, but your post sounds like you might be trying to drum up business for this woman's web cam shows (which makes me doubt your story). Perhaps you could prove me wrong by deleting any links you may have posted, photos, etc.?
 

SchrodingersCat

Active member
You don't remember the controversy Richard Gere created a few years ago, when he hugged and kissed Shilpa Shetty (a gorgeous Bollywood actress) onstage? Conservative Indians filed suit against him. Some wanted him imprisoned, others called for his death - because a kiss in public is considered obscene in India.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6560371.stm

haha, remember it? Never heard of it! I'm not really into celebrities... don't have cable, and apparently that wasn't newsworthy enough to make it to my facebook feed... :)

Anyway, the kahma sutra comment was a bit tongue-in-cheek... I do recognize that India has "fallen" a long way from those days...
 

nycindie

Active member
I could be entirely off base, but your post sounds like you might be trying to drum up business for this woman's web cam shows (which makes me doubt your story). Perhaps you could prove me wrong by deleting any links you may have posted, photos, etc.?

I already deleted the porn images he attached, and quoted the Guidelines upthread. I don't think you're off base at all, and the OP hasn't been back since the pics were deleted.
 
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