i don't think he knows what he wants! we are all figuring this out, taking the path unknown, sorting out what's right and what's not. we are all learners, including yourself and every human being who makes their own path. I l was open to NH in theory and then i tried it and found it to not work for me. it did not make sense to be NH with a meta who was never around, and who did not share any daily life with, and who is mentally unsafe. i know that's not how everyone feels, but it's how i feel, and so NH in that situation isn't okay for me. Maybe NH would be okay for me one day, with the right person. i'd have to really trust a Meta to be NH with, and know that they have my back, but def not if they're around 1/2 the time, violent, demanding, inconsiderate of me, and practice cognitive disassociation and act like i don't exist. i don't want to be NH with anyone who i do not get along very well with. i think my partner got in over his head with a woman b/c he was afraid she'd kill herself. tbh.
I think you put far too much emphasis on you and meta.