Satisfying the relationship of three

TantricSpirit

New member
I found this article by David Noble addressing Unicorns, discretion, honesty, fairness and jealousy in a poly relationship. I found this to be a wonderful article and may have some solutions for those hitting some obstacles along the road to a complete union of three.

Tantric Spirit
 
Thanks for the link!
I took some time to read the article; wow lots of great information there.
I'm probably going to have to rearead it a few times in order for all of the info to sink in properly.
 

TantricSpirit

New member
Thanks for the link!
I took some time to read the article; wow lots of great information there.
I'm probably going to have to rearead it a few times in order for all of the info to sink in properly.

You're welcomed! You're not alone, lots of good information and I too have to re-read it to own it and follow it.

T
 

LotusesandRoses

New member
What? Solo poly women are human beings with rights who should have their wishes and feelings taken into consideration? Stop the presses! This kind of radical idea could tear apart the poly community!
 

Razorbacktat

New member
I think one of the hardest things to do in a poly relationship is to reprogram yourself to thing about others feelings first and yours second. It is human nature to think and protect yourself and your own needs first at the expense of the others in your poly family, but to be sucessful I beleive it is the absolute neccesity. If you are ever able to do so you get a great sence of peace.
 

Piroska

New member
That was a great article. Thanks for posting it. A great way to explain the issues with stereotypical unicorn hunters for those who are new or don't understand yet.
 

SchrodingersCat

Active member
The article has come up a couple times, but thank you for reposting. I often use it to reply to ads from obvious unicorn hunters.

I think one of the hardest things to do in a poly relationship is to reprogram yourself to thing about others feelings first and yours second. It is human nature to think and protect yourself and your own needs first at the expense of the others in your poly family, but to be sucessful I beleive it is the absolute neccesity. If you are ever able to do so you get a great sence of peace.

Just poly relationships? That's hard to do in any relationship!

I'm inclined towards selfishness, but I do think of other people too. However, I do believe that everyone must look out for their own needs, because it's unfair to put that burden on someone else. The alternative is to allow your needs to be trampled on, and that's not healthy either.

It all comes down to communication. Protect your needs, and explain to your partners what you're doing and why. Allow them to communicate their own needs, and come to an agreement whereby all your needs can be met.

When I go out in the world, I go with the assumption that everyone is looking out for theirself. I rely on other people to communicate to me what their needs are and how I can help them meet them. In my marriage, that has been a huge learning process for both me and my husband. He struggles to make his needs known, especially when they conflict with my needs. I struggle to identify his needs without him expressing them. As he's started, bit by bit, to express his needs, he's learned that I will try to accommodate them if I can. That perpetuates a cycle where he feels more and more comfortable expressing his needs. Positive reinforcement.
 

elle

New member
I love this:

Trust bravely.

Love boldly.

Risk with calculation.

Be open to new experiences.

Be strong in the face of your insecurity.

Dare to grab for the life you want.

Meet exciting people.

BE an exciting person.

Build valuable relationships.

Share intimacy.
 

finallyhome

New member
thank u

This article helped me soooo much! It gave me a voice and a way to explain the box I am currently finding myself in.
 

starmonkey

New member
A triad really appeals to me, but I can easily see how my inexperience would likely have led me to more than a few of the pitfalls in the article. I am so glad to be reading this now - before screwing it up.

Question: are unicorn hunters MF couples looking specifically for a bi F, or does it also include MF couples looking for a bi M as well?
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Question: are unicorn hunters MF couples looking specifically for a bi F, or does it also include MF couples looking for a bi M as well?

Probably the huge majority of the time, it's a MF couple where the woman is bi and the man is straight. Once in a rare while you see a MF couple looking for a man... and then there is the hotwife/cuckoldry fetish.

I've also seen MM and FF gay couples looking to "share" a person. With the usual not so good results most of the time.
 

reece2014

New member
Thanks for sharing

I just read this article and it helped me understand some more of the poly world. I guess if labels are being applied then I'm a unicorn. I thank you for sharing caution to the unicorn hunters out there due to the fact it will help me understand what I am NOT looking for.
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Funny, my bi bf is now a male unicorn, in a relationship with a married couple, both bi. It is interesting to read this substituting the word "him" for "her," and see how he is negotiating these waters with the couple right now.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Thanks for updating that.
 
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