SCOTUS ruling

TheWind

New member
Star Trek Enterprise, had a poly crew member Doctor Phlox. What about the recent ruling by SCOTUS on Gay marriage? They cited the 14th amendment and Equal Protection, now do poly couples have the right to marry a 3rd person? Not allowing polygamy would seem to fly in the face of that ruling?
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Hopefully people will eventually accept whatever is done between consenting adults. But right now, the idea of polygamous? polyamorous? marriage is just too much for people to handle. They're having a hard enough time with SSM as it is.
 

TheWind

New member
Hopefully people will eventually accept whatever is done between consenting adults. But right now, the idea of polygamous? polyamorous? marriage is just too much for people to handle. They're having a hard enough time with SSM as it is.
I would like to see it for legal protection, especially of the second spouse. I was talking to a guy I know, he spent years in a monogamous relationship with another man. His partner dies and he was out in the cold, no claim to his pension or benefits. His life was turned upside down.
I wonder about a MFF marriage, unlike SSM, the Bible has a lot of it, The OT has how many Patriarchs with several wives? That seems to be one of the Christian Rights main attacks.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Interestingly, (most of) the Christian Right wants nothing to do with modern-day polygyny, even while condoning the patriarchs who did it in the Old Testament. They'll use various excuses, such as, "Well that was a long time ago, things were different back then," or, "Well, God didn't *really* approve of it, He just tolerated it."
 

TheWind

New member
But didn't G*d give several of them their numerous wives? Why would one who is all powerful tolerate anything?
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Heh, I said they had various excuses ... didn't say they were good excuses. :rolleyes:
 

TheWind

New member
There is really no argument against it. But they don't need a valid argument. We have some good and bad poly relationships on tv. The crux will be the liberal media portraying it in a normal family setting. The way gay relationships are portrayed. It starts to numb the arguments. With the SCOTUS decision saying SSM is the way of the Land, they will have no controversy in their programming.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
I think polyamorous marriage is bound to be legalized eventually. It's a question of when, not if.
 

TheWind

New member
Most certainly, several women's groups support it. As they feel it would permit women to have a family and a career. That and the good guys out there that are already married would get a second wife, because they are good guys, rather than a woman settling for an abusive asswipe. That is lame because I have seen too many DV couples that were both abusive or had a violent relationship and it was ok for them.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Re:
"That and the good guys out there that are already married would get a second wife, because they are good guys, rather than a woman settling for an abusive asswipe."

Heh, sounds like a good deal.
 

River

Active member
I would like to see it for legal protection, especially of the second spouse.

But at what number would the law draw the line, in terms of numbers of allowable spouses (spice?)? What principle could be called upon for setting this upper limit?
 

LizziE

New member
A FFM that is somewhere between a triad and a V (they're all emotionally intimate, though not sexually intimate and have no desire to be, as the female side is a lesbian) that I know have deliberately all gotten married to each other. This was actually awhile ago - I think the marriages are something like a 1+ old, and they've been together for a number of years already.

They did it because when the government finally notices and tells them it's illegal, they want to go to court over it.

As they haven't yet been found out, I don't feel comfortable mentioning their names (though they are aware that if/when it's found out, everybody will know their names, it just feels weird to say something about it now).

I do also think it will be inevitable. I read somewhere that it'd actually be good for the government, because currently, many Mormon polygamists have all their extra wives apply for governmental single-parent benefits.

Maybe it'll become reality in the next 20 years? I think one of the things that I'm curious about is if & how the legal/tax aspects of it would differ it it was something V or W like, versus a triad or a group that were all intimate with each other.

I also like the potential that it could mellow some of the stigma against friendship partnership/marriages - the kind that asexuals and sexual people who simply haven't found the right romantic partner get. In the case of sexual people, I often here they'll marry a non-sexual friend if they decide to raise children together now, instead of keeping on waiting for a romantic partner.

It would be so wonderful if child-rearing and sexual relationships were finally decoupled. And if people who wanted life-long partnerships with friends could do so as easily as romantic/sexual people do.
 

TheWind

New member
But at what number would the law draw the line, in terms of numbers of allowable spouses (spice?)? What principle could be called upon for setting this upper limit?
That is the question? I am good with two. I guess a billionaire could have a lot more. Alex Joseph had 38 or 39 at one. DO we deny them welfare? It is a hard question
 

LizziE

New member
That is the question? I am good with two. I guess a billionaire could have a lot more. Alex Joseph had 38 or 39 at one. DO we deny them welfare? It is a hard question

I think most questions of this kind will probably solved by looking at how we handle children and people who have multiple children.
 

River

Active member
If ever government has to decide how many spouses to legally allow, beyond one per person, ... boy, that's gonna prove very challenging. As soon as the door opens -- if ever it will -- it will be very challenging to bring a rational jurisprudence to any limiting of numbers at all.
 

TheWind

New member
Actually this brings to mind a situation we have had in the past. We had one long term male to our relationship, then we had a live in female, whom I as a good friend, hooked him up with in the first of several 3somes. I would let both woman in my life have their way with him. He thanked me a lot, still does. How would that come into play?
 

KC43

New member
I'm not sure how someone having sexual threesomes would have anything to do with poly marriage...

From what I've seen on these forums, a lot of poly folk cohabit with more than one of their partners. Some have had commitment ceremonies with the partners they can't legally marry. They're already essentially living as married groupings; it just isn't legal, and as such has no protection under the law.

I've also seen--even just this past week or so--people on here posting about being threatened with losing kids, homes, and jobs, or even actually losing them, because of being in polyamorous arrangements. Legalizing poly marriage would hopefully eliminate this type of discrimination, assuming that the legalization of the marriage included, or a separate law was passed, the illegalization of discrimination based on living arrangements.

It's interesting to see people's take on this here; a similar discussion is going on in a writer's forum I belong to, where I and two others are trying to explain what polyamory actually is and that yes, there is a lot of discrimination, while the majority, who aren't poly, either struggle to comprehend or tell us we're lying about the discrimination...
 
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