should I be worried about being cuckold

base2

New member
hi my wife and I have an arrangement where twice a year she goes and visits this guy on the other side of the country for 4 days of the hottest dirty sex she can imagine she does every thing with him. He is very well endowed and I couple of time I have come and we have had a couple of threesomes. Etc but I sleep in the second room and come in when invited. When she gets back she show me the photos and videos and I feel so humiliated and aroused at the same time

I am just realising that this is classic cuckold behaviour. Now I am at the point that thinking out her with another man or watch porn where a man is sharing his wife is the only thing that really gets me going and for her being with this man or sending him photos and videos is the only thing that turns her on. At first I thought this was a perfect poly relationship. But know I am beginning to feel like we are losing our way. How worried should I be? Technically this still falls into the "if nobody is getting hurt category." I am just worried that the relationship is shifting so much our relationship will be lost.
 

Candiedlove

New member
This is just about sex and is technically cuckold ing and not poly.

Are you worried about it becoming poly and changing dynamics?
 

Dagferi

Well-known member
Polyamory is an emotional romantic relationship with more than one individual. Sex doesn't have to have anything to do with it.

Cuckoldry doesn't equal polyamory.
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Relationships change over time. It sounds like you two/threee are having fun, so what is your actual fear? That she will fall out of love with you? It doesn't sound like she will. You're an integral part of the mix.

There are plenty of message boards and websites for cuckolding, so why don't you do some research about that? It's a specific type of open relationship, and isn't necessarily polyAMORY. I am not saying don't post here, just suggesting you do research into cuckolding specifically.
 

Candiedlove

New member
Polyamory is an emotional romantic relationship with more than one individual. Sex doesn't have to have anything to do with it.

Cuckoldry doesn't equal polyamory.

Well, sex does have something to do with it, as sex has to do with relationships. I know that wasn't what you meant, but newbies can sometimes misread that statement to mean if there's sex involved that it CAN'T be poly. That can really confuse people.
 

Dagferi

Well-known member
Well, sex does have something to do with it, as sex has to do with relationships. I know that wasn't what you meant, but newbies can sometimes misread that statement to mean if there's sex involved that it CAN'T be poly. That can really confuse people.

Some people are asexual and they have romantic relationships. Some have multiple people they have romantic relationships with. They are just as poly as someone who has sex with their partners.. :D
 

friskyone4u

New member
Don't worry so much about the titles or what your relationship should be called. Ask yourself if this truly effecting your marriage in a negative way. You seem to be fine with her doing this and like it. by the way, what you are doing is a common fantasy of a lot of men. you are just acting on it.
The major question is how is your relationship other than that. Does you wife still express love for you, communicate with you, and share her emotions with you.
One thing you probably need to figure out is what your reaction will be if this starts to become a constant thing and not just twice a year. From the sound of it, that could happen.
That you need to figure out.
 

Aurelie26

New member
It was not so long ago that I was fearful about the whole cuckold thing, and how it would effect my bf, and our relationship. It makes me smile now to think of how worried I was about it.:) I have no problem in describing my boyfriend as my cuckold now, and think that it can go hand in hand with poly very well. There is nothing wrong with being a cuckold, and some men, like my boyfriend are just suited to it. Go with what you all think is right, and what you all want. That is what we have done and we couldn't be happier. In fact, I am pregnant with my second child and am looking forward to the future.

Good luck
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Hi base2,

Just wanted to emphasize, like Aurelie26 said, there is nothing wrong with cuckoldry per se. The question isn't, "Should we be doing this, or that," or, "Are we bona fide polyamorists," or anything like that. The only "should" here is that you should be enjoying the life you lead with your wife. If all parties involved are enjoying it and having a good time, then you may be borrowing trouble by worrying about it. I don't think you should be worried about it unless you're feeling unhappy in general.

All relationships shift over time, and no relationship has a lifetime guarantee (even if we pretend it does). Change per se shouldn't be a cause for alarm, nor do you need to examine the situation with a microscope. If something's really wrong, you'll know it; you won't have to ask.

Think about what you want in your marriage, and ask yourself if you're getting it. Then we'll have a better idea of whether you need to steer in a different direction. And even if you do, I still don't recommend worrying; worrying just makes things worse.

That's all I've got for now; I might think of some other ideas later.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 

mfmfantasy

New member
It was not so long ago that I was fearful about the whole cuckold thing, and how it would effect my bf, and our relationship. It makes me smile now to think of how worried I was about it.:) I have no problem in describing my boyfriend as my cuckold now, and think that it can go hand in hand with poly very well. There is nothing wrong with being a cuckold, and some men, like my boyfriend are just suited to it. Go with what you all think is right, and what you all want. That is what we have done and we couldn't be happier. In fact, I am pregnant with my second child and am looking forward to the future.

Good luck
Totally agree
 

mfmfantasy

New member
If you are happy d
hi my wife and I have an arrangement where twice a year she goes and visits this guy on the other side of the country for 4 days of the hottest dirty sex she can imagine she does every thing with him. He is very well endowed and I couple of time I have come and we have had a couple of threesomes. Etc but I sleep in the second room and come in when invited. When she gets back she show me the photos and videos and I feel so humiliated and aroused at the same time

I am just realising that this is classic cuckold behaviour. Now I am at the point that thinking out her with another man or watch porn where a man is sharing his wife is the only thing that really gets me going and for her being with this man or sending him photos and videos is the only thing that turns her on. At first I thought this was a perfect poly relationship. But know I am beginning to feel like we are losing our way. How worried should I be? Technically this still falls into the "if nobody is getting hurt category." I am just worried that the relationship is shifting so much our relationship will be lost.
If you are happy, do it.
Don't worry about other things.

Are you excited about the idea of your wife have sex with others?

Yes or no?

Simple
 

Al99

Well-known member
Hi mfmfantasy - this thread is from 2014, and the OP (original poster) hasn't been on the board since then. So, don't expect a reply. :)

If you have specific thoughts or questions about how cucklolding/hotwifing/mfm threesomes, etc might relate to polyamory, you might want to start a new thread here.

There is a (very busy) forum similar to this one in format specifically for that community that you might find interesting. I found it of some interest when I was exploring the idea of an MFM threesome to fulfills my wife's fantasy, although most it was a bit too much for my taste - but there is a lot of info there for those who are into that sort of thing. The site is ourhotwives-dot-org.
 
Last edited:
Top