Simultaneous NRE

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Well, this is a new twist for my gf and me. We've been together 20 mos, and I've met and dated quite a few people besides her. She's only met one person she's found suitable, last fall, and that relationship ended when that guy got too busy to pursue a relationship.

Now, this past week or so, she "met" a guy who found her online and they've been chatting lots and lots, and have plans to meet in person this week. He really sounds perfect for her, kinky, poly, respectful, bisexual and smart. And sexy, yeah. He's about her age and in a LTR with a woman, who is poly as well.

Meanwhile, Ive been narrowing my search for other partners to ones who are (very horny but also) interested in a real relationship, meeting regularly, doing activities, and really good at the art of literate informed humorous conversations.

A guy, R, messaged me on okc who seemed to fill this bill. We only chatted a couple times and he asked me to meet him for drinks. We ended up meeting last night, and it went pretty darn great. He seemed very open, honest and sincere. He's 39, single, never married, no kids. He messaged me this morning to say how much he enjoyed our date (polite! gotta love that).

So! Now both my gf and I are in the throes of new relationships with seemingly lots of potential (fingerscrossed). It definitely adds a new dynamic to our relationship. I sense we are both holding back on gushing to each other too much about our excitement...heh

No questions or problems yet, just wanted to write down my feelings about this simultaneous, very new relationship energy.

Comments welcome from anyone who has dealt with this situation before and has any words of wisdom.
 

NeonKaos

Custodian
NO words of wisdom here, but it's great that you both have someone else you really like! Usually, you see on here people who TRY to "get it equal" and get really worked up about it, but as you can see, it happens by itself if you just go out and do your thing. I hope no one turns out to be a jerk after all!
 

MonoVCPHG

New member
I'm looking forward to hearing about this Magdlyn. We get lots of feedback on one sided NRE either from those experiencing it or those struggling from their partner's.
I'll be interesting to see how you share in the experience and can presumably enjoy it more because your GF will be enjoying her own budding relationship :)

Very cool!
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Yes, RP, a blog, with comments welcome.
 

Fidelia

New member
Ooh, yummy! I just love that feeling, when I've met someone who seems terrific, and there's that spark, and I can't wait to get to know them better! Yummy yum yum!

And for both of you to be experiencing this at the same time! Sweet!

Wherever things go from here, savor these moments. :)
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Thanks for the well wishes.

More background: my new interest, R, is an MD, an anesthesiologist. Therefore he works long hours during the week, but is only on call one weekend every 2 months. Since I met my gf we have reserved weekends for each other, but I guess that will have to change now, if R and I become a thing. He wants to see me this Sunday. He lives in Boston quite near my gf's place but hasnt visited my city of Lowell (20 miles north of Boston) and would like to come see me in Lowell this weekend.

My gf's new guy, M, lives in a close suburb of Boston. He's a tech geek like her and can chat online most of the day, so they chat a lot. I don't get to chat w R as much. I'm a bit envious of this, but not jealous.

Having new people in our lives, it's kind of like we both have new friends, and it's fun to share w each other the things we are finding out about our guys. Our relationship with each other, since it's still fairly new, was never boring or constricting, so we didnt *need* new energy to be excited about each other all over again, but it's definitely adding a new dimension to things.

Another aspect of my gf's new guy is that he is sub to his gf, they are in a M/s relationship. And my gf is potentially going to be M's slave, if it all works out. She's been a lifestyle slave before, and craves it for her own development, but I am not quite sure how this dynamic will work out since she and I are a couple. I'm kinky but fairly ignorant of lifestyle Master/Mistress/slave couples/triads. My gf has been looking all along for a Master or Mistress who is fine with her having a gf and can respect that and make it all work.

I've looked at the okc profile of M's gf/mistress and she seems kinda intimidating and ... bitchy. Ive been told she is less so in person and her profile is just meant to put off the asshole guys there. However, she invited herself along on my gf's lunch date tomorrow! But she'll only be with them for part of the date.

So now my gf is all twitterpated and primping for her date. I hope it goes great.
 

NeonKaos

Custodian
This is very interesting! I will be following this instead of Top Chef now (I canceled my cable-TV channels and it's between seasons anyway).
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
This is very interesting! I will be following this instead of Top Chef now (I canceled my cable-TV channels and it's between seasons anyway).

ha HA!

BTW, there will also be some sort of power exchange thing with my new guy and me. He does seem to need a domina in his life, has certain fantasies and desires in this area. I'm not interested in being a Dominatrix, but since I am a switch, I can Top sometimes.

Also btw, we are all bisexual/pansexual.
 
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Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
We'll prolly have our own reality show soon, check your local cable!
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Update, my gf had a great date. Liked both of them. Her guy kept touching her and she felt great. Got a goodbye kiss that made her weak in the knees. :)

She said his gf was nice, no problems. She was fine with their discreet PDAs.

So far, so good. Now if I can just chat w my new guy tonight, all will be well.
 

MonoVCPHG

New member
Update, my gf had a great date. Liked both of them. Her guy kept touching her and she felt great. Got a goodbye kiss that made her weak in the knees. :)

She said his gf was nice, no problems. She was fine with their discreet PDAs.

So far, so good. Now if I can just chat w my new guy tonight, all will be well.

Great to hear :)
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Well my guy was out with friends til 11:30 last night, but we chatted for 5 mins and set up for him to come here noon on Sunday. It's just a bit weird to be in Lowell on a weekend, since Ive spent weekends in Boston for months, close to 2 years. I hope it's worth it. It would be nice if gf could also have a date with M that day. We'll see.
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Fuck. Date was supposed to be tomorrow noon. He didnt contact me all day to get my address and make plans. I texted him twice (since he's sub, I thought he might want me to make that move.) Just now, got a text, at 8:30.

"Magdlyn, overwhelmed right now with various commitments, don't think I can make it tomorrow. Let's talk soon."

So, that's that. And earlier this week he told me I was "addictive." Mmhm.
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
So, I reckon he told me so many deep dark secrets on our date, now he feels too exposed and is uncomfortable. Sigh... I'm too good of a listener, I guess. I'm guessing I'll never hear from him again.

Just have to get vicarious pleasure out of gf's new relationship for now.
 

gomugirl1656

New member
So, I reckon he told me so many deep dark secrets on our date, now he feels too exposed and is uncomfortable. Sigh... I'm too good of a listener, I guess. I'm guessing I'll never hear from him again.

Just have to get vicarious pleasure out of gf's new relationship for now.

Hey Magdlyn it may not be that way at all. He may really have had some stuff come up unexpectedly. Life happens. It may not be personal to you or your relationship give it a little time before you dump the relationship completely. I find that I save myself much squirrel caging if I take the my guys at face value and don't suppose anything extra. I am sorry you were disappointed by his no show but at least he let you know something. If he didn't care about you he wouldn't have answered a text at all. Keep us posted. Good Luck and Have a great day.
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Thanks gogumgirl. That's an optimistic view. My gut tells me otherwise, but there's nothing to do but wait.

long vent~

So, normally I spend the weekends with my gf in Boston, but I stayed here in Lowell to see R this past weekend. When he didnt show, it basically fucked up my weekend, socially. Of course then I came down with this bad cold anyway. Just not a good weekend.

Last night I had a long chat with my gf. I am still rather sick, but my son has gone back to his dad's til Dec 4, so I am going to gird my loins, pack up and go to the gf's today.

We're leaving for Florida next Tuesday, the 23rd, to visit my family for Thanksgiving. However, there's a kink/poly/queer conference in Worcester this coming weekend, Transcending Boundaries, which we went to last year, but we've decided we shouldn't go, b/c of leaving for Florida right after the weekend, so monetarily and stress-wise, it just didn't make good sense.

So, I'll go to Boston til the weekend, then come back here and pack for our Florida trip, then come back to Boston Sunday or Monday, and our flight is on Tuesday.

She had told me her new bf, M, and his Lady, are doing an erotic photoshoot with a pro photographer this weekend and had invited her to observe. She told me this a couple weeks ago, when we thought we might be going to the conf. So, last night I said, you might as well go have fun at the photoshoot, since we're skipping the con. She got all excited and told M right away, since she had him in another chat window.

Then she told me the shoot is in Maine and would involve an overnight stay! I had no idea it was in Maine. I thought it was at their house or a rented studio somewhere around Boston. She insisted she told me it was in Maine from the start, I insist she never did.

Then she told me she might also see M this week sometime, while I am staying at her place.

...sigh... I got triggered b/c the last time she had a bf, last year, they had one lunch date, and then a dinner date at his place where she stayed overnight and didn't tell me she did, til I got to her place the next day and she wasn't there.

So. I spent last weekend here, waiting around for a no show. Then I got sick. Meanwhile she's planning a date with M while I am visiting her this week, and also planning a trip to Maine for an erotic photoshoot. I mean, she's being nice about it and all, telling me she loves me, saying she doesn't have to go to Maine if I am not comfortable. But I already told her she could, and I know she'll have a great time.

I'm just feeling sort of pitiful. *cough cough* *headache*
 
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