Sleeping Arrangements and Beds: Merged Threads, General Discussion

My wife is 4'11", I am 6' and our girlfriend is 5'10". I bought a house with four bedrooms and we each had our own room. We used my room for sex, since I had the king-sized bed, which started out as a waterbed in the old days, and finally changed to a regular mattress when waterbed stores no longer existed.

We actually enjoyed sleeping alone. We all had different bed and wake times due to our jobs. I ran a business in Hong Kong so I would get phone calls and faxes (before email days) all night long.

When we stayed at a hotel on vacation, we got two twin beds and my wife slept with her g/f and I slept alone. I do not like sleeping with one person, so three is out of the question. :)
 
We have a king bed and I sleep in the middle. Both ladies have their own blankets so they can bundle up and I can stay mostly uncovered in the middle. I hate being covered in sheets because I don't like feeling hot while I sleep. It wasn't tolerable at all when we shared one set of sheets!
 
Three people, two beds (in two bedrooms). I usually sleep alone nowadays because my snoring keeps Snowbunny awake. Which is fine, really. Sleeping alone might have bothered me years ago, but it doesn't bother me today. Actually, having the bed to myself is rather convenient.
We have two bedrooms and I used to switch beds each night (when we were all together). Now instead we declared the biggest bedroom to be my room, and the boys switch each night between the bigger and smaller bedrooms. It is rather confusing doing it this way, but who knows? I might grow to like it.

Either way, we have never discussed sleeping together all three of us in the same bed. I think mainly because we have sex at night and also sleep naked. It has just never come up as an option for us.
 
I know this is an issue of economy also, but has anyone had any experience with the Utah style "polygamy homes"? That is, seperate apartments that are interconnected. In my country we also have some things called "generational homes," where two or three apartments are interconnected in one house. The more I think of it, the more it sounds like it could be a viable option for the style of polyamory that we are contemplating. Having separate apartments, with separate kitchens and bathrooms, and bedrooms far apart, would ensure privacy, while at the same time, if, for instance, there were (lockable) doors between the homes, there would be the possibilty of going in and out, useful for kids, I think, of the different rooms and flats, and use them as one, interconnected flat. I know, for instance, one schoolmate of mine where both her parents and her grandmum had balcony doors that they never locked when home, that led to a shared balcony.

I especially see it as being beneficial to any future child(ren) to live like this. The only downside I see with living like this, as opposed to having two separate flats, is knowing when to be alone versus together (but I am thinking perhaps to set a basic timeline, let's say 7 in the evening, unless otherwise arranged), and of course, noise, but I guess one has to be quiet with kids around anyway.

I know some friends of mine that more or less live like this, with (at least) two bathrooms and two kitchens for three people and a dog. Except it is an ordinary, big house so they can't close off anything (except the cellar used to be a separate unit, but they use it as a tv room).

Does anyone live more or less like this? Are there things to consider with living arrangements like this?

We are comfortable living all three of us for a certain amount of time (like a holiday), but we also like our one-on-one space for more than the bedroom, which is why I thought perhaps this was something to consider. There are not many poly homes in my country, but there are some generational homes that could be interesting to look at.
 
I've never seen a polygamy home in spite of growing up in Utah. Possibly some are still standing in Salt Lake City?
 
Sounds like what I'd call a duplex. Not a bad idea, if you'd like some more division between relationships. Many of the duplexes I've seen are two apartments, each half of a house with private entrances. It allows renters to have half a house and share a yard. But I'm sure you could find a way to rent both sides or buy a preexisting unit (or perhaps convert your house, if you had the money/desire!).

Interesting thought.
 
I've never seen a polygamy home in spite of growing up in Utah. Possibly some are still standing in Salt Lake City?
I guess they are in a special part of the state. I just saw a polygamy house featured in Sister Wives. (The one they sold was built for three wives with children.) As I understand it, poly homes are not often on the market because people build them themselves and feel no reason to leave unless they get many many wives.

I have been looking at "generational homes" online in my city. I found one that looked great, but since it is basically a very long house split up, it costs a lot of money. But perhaps we could afford it as three people in the future, or perhaps find ways in which an ordinary house would work to our benefit.
 
Sounds like what I'd call a duplex. Not a bad idea, if you'd like some more division between relationships. Many of the duplexes I've seen are two apartments, each half of a house with private entrances. It allows renters to have half a house and share a yard. But I'm sure you could find a way to rent both sides or buy a preexisting unit (or perhaps convert your house, if you had the money/desire!).

Interesting thought.
Thanks. That has been on my mind, as well, to buy a property with a renter's unit (it could possibly even be tax deductible), except there had to be almost the same size as the main unit. I have seen some examples of that. Renting could also be an option, although I prefer owning a flat.

Having a yard together sounds lovely. I love greens. My husband was previously a landscape gardener and my boyfriend grew up on a farm. So having some grass and perhaps a vegetable garden would be super nice to share.

I am not sure how much money we would have to use. I mean, obviously, we would have less money than 2 regular couples would, but at the same time, we would be 3 people buying a house, instead of 2, so it could work both ways.
 
We are planning an addition at some point in the future that would function a lot like what you are describing. We are contemplating, basically, a separate structure, built in an "underground" home structure, connected to main house by tunnel/walkway. This is in anticipation of my father, at some point, having to move in with us. The addition would have, basically, a small suite for Dude and one for Dad, a shared bath and kitchenette and sound-proof entertainment room, and would have a separate entrance/alternative exit for the main house. It would also serve as root cellar and storm/tornado shelter, as the main house has no basement.
 
My hubby, boyfriend, and I all sleep together every night. We started that from the moment boyfriend moved in. (Okay, the moment we bought a king-sized bed so we would all fit.) I love it! I never get cold at night now! :)
Just curious-- do you have sex every night with both dudes? How does that work if you are sleeping together? Who gets the priority?
 
I'm 5'4. My female fiance is 5'5, and my male fiance 5'9. We all plan to sleep in the same bed, with one guest bedroom (doubling as an office) if someone is sick or NEEDS space. How big of a bed do people recommend? How do we determine who sleeps in the middle?
 
King. Always king (+). It's about the width to separate out when sleeping so you don't end up overheating and having wakeful nights.
 
King. Always king (+). It's about the width to separate out when sleeping so you don't end up overheating and having wakeful nights.
Thank you. After reading all ten pages and then seeing this simple response I became confident. Ordering an "extra wide king" from a specialty company online as we speak. Its the same length as a normal king, but an extra 2.5 feet wide!
 
Thank you. After reading all ten pages and then seeing this simple response I became confident. Ordering an "extra wide king" from a specialty company online as we speak. Its the same length as a normal king, but an extra 2.5 feet wide!
If possible, you should consider having a wall light behind the bed over the middle of the bed, so the person sleeping in the middle has a reading light (if they read in bed) and can also reach a light switch if they wake in the night.

Or a shelf behind the bed so the middle person can put their phone, glasses, etc, there.

Also, my monogamous brother and his wife have separate duvets for each of them for separate blanket needs--they can wrap up in their own top sheet & cover as needed. Worth thinking about for three people.
 
If possible, you should consider having a wall light behind the bed over the middle of the bed, so the person sleeping in the middle has a reading light (if they read in bed) and can also reach a light switch if they wake in the night.

Or a shelf behind the bed so the middle person can put their phone, glasses, etc, there.

Also, my monogamous brother and his wife have separate duvets for each of them for separate blanket needs--they can wrap up in their own top sheet & cover as needed. Worth thinking about for three people.
We already plannedo nthe three duvets, but the shelf and light switch in the middle is genius, and will def do it. Adding it to the list. Thank you!
 
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