Rougewarrior49
New member
Hello,
I'm new here, so I apologize if this thread is a repeat. I've been looking around for a few days and have not found relevant discussion. If this is not so, please do let me know.
Question: I would like to be supportive of partner Cal during his recent divorce. I would love any insight on pacing/timing/giving space to partners going through their own breakup/divorce. How slow should I go? How much time is reasonable to give post-breakup/transition?
Background: I travel a lot. Cal and I have been partners on-and-off (travel allowing) for several years. We make time for each other when we can and it is always lovely. Two years ago, he entered a mono marriage (love+economic stability), during which Cal and I mutually & respectfully broke off contact. It was amicable and we remained on good terms. In those 2 years, the marriage ended when he ex suddenly left without much explanation. Cal is deeply hurt by the sudden breakup (he talked about it by phone, I am 3k miles away) but feels emotionally that the relationship was over for some time now.
Cal reached out immediately after separation to let me know that his situation had changed and that he had missed my friendship. We have resumed talking slowly. We've had some prelim discussion about transitioning our dynamic (formerly no-contact) towards LDR companionship. Cal acknowledges that he's having a difficult time internally, and that he is not yet sure how his needs have changed.
Me: For my own transition, I feel anxious and excited (NRE) to resume contact with a beloved flame. Covid isolation has been lonely. My goal is to be respectful, patient, and considerate to best protect our connection through this breakup. I would love any insight on how best to do this and what kind of pacing has worked for others during metamour breakup. Thank you!
I'm new here, so I apologize if this thread is a repeat. I've been looking around for a few days and have not found relevant discussion. If this is not so, please do let me know.
Question: I would like to be supportive of partner Cal during his recent divorce. I would love any insight on pacing/timing/giving space to partners going through their own breakup/divorce. How slow should I go? How much time is reasonable to give post-breakup/transition?
Background: I travel a lot. Cal and I have been partners on-and-off (travel allowing) for several years. We make time for each other when we can and it is always lovely. Two years ago, he entered a mono marriage (love+economic stability), during which Cal and I mutually & respectfully broke off contact. It was amicable and we remained on good terms. In those 2 years, the marriage ended when he ex suddenly left without much explanation. Cal is deeply hurt by the sudden breakup (he talked about it by phone, I am 3k miles away) but feels emotionally that the relationship was over for some time now.
Cal reached out immediately after separation to let me know that his situation had changed and that he had missed my friendship. We have resumed talking slowly. We've had some prelim discussion about transitioning our dynamic (formerly no-contact) towards LDR companionship. Cal acknowledges that he's having a difficult time internally, and that he is not yet sure how his needs have changed.
Me: For my own transition, I feel anxious and excited (NRE) to resume contact with a beloved flame. Covid isolation has been lonely. My goal is to be respectful, patient, and considerate to best protect our connection through this breakup. I would love any insight on how best to do this and what kind of pacing has worked for others during metamour breakup. Thank you!