Taming Your Mammoth

Spork

New member
This article has nothing to do with polyamory specifically. I am sharing it here because part of being successfully polyamorous...in fact, part of being successful at anything PERIOD, especially relationships, is being ~self aware~.

What does that even mean?

It's a challenge. Well, in talks with one of our other posters here, I have run up against something I've encountered with others, and occasionally in myself. Pinning all of your identity and self-worth on a relationship, on the opinion and love and acceptance and validation of another person, to the point where losing them shakes the very foundations of your reality and can even threaten your desire to continue living. See, this has nothing to do with that other person. It's got EVERYTHING to do with you, the person who cannot live without so-and-so. You are listening to your mammoth.

Anyhow, it's a great read:

http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/06/taming-mammoth-let-peoples-opinions-run-life.html

Me: "I can be anyone! Anyone who would please you! Want me to wear a dress? I can wear a dress! Please, please tell me who to be for you..."
Disastrous fling guy: "I...actually...I'm kinda losing interest. I have a thing. To do. I'm uh...busy...watching the Republican Debate with my cats tonight. Sorry!"
Me: "I'M WORTHLESS TO THE PEOPLE I WANT TO LOVE ME AND I'LL NEVER BE HAPPY AND EVERYTHING SUCKS NOW."

Stupid mammoth is stupid.
 
I know this is an old post, but I really liked that article!
 

Northerner

New member
Great Article

That resonates a lot. I see a lot of my younger very insecure self in the characteristics described. As the article says, you never fully banish the mammoth, I still have to work to keep him under control.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Just read the article myself. A good how-to on how not to be controlled by what other people think. Thanks for sharing it.
 
Top