The Ideal Life (or Dreams Compromised)

Hades36

New member
I hope everyone had a great holiday, however you choose to celebrate.

Nearing 40 and really thinking about my life, the decisions I've made, and where those paths have led me. All in all, I have a great life with very little to complain about. But, of course, there are dreams I've compromised, choices I made for other people instead of my own happiness, and those come back to haunt me at times.

So, wanting to ask you fine folk...

What would be your ideal life? What would it look like? Feel like? And what dreams have you compromised for others, and why exactly?

Hoping for some great answers! ;)

For me, my ideal life would be living on a poly commune with a small tribe of lovers and friends who were all artsy, deeply spiritual, and committed to the same vision. I would be a successful writer and roleplaying game designer, and the commune would have dozens of cats (lol) roaming around.
 

Dagferi

Well-known member
I have a pretty damn good life.
I have 2 husbands who love me dearly. I have 2 nice homes. Friends and hobbies I enjoy. My kids are happy and healthy.

I enjoy what I do at both jobs.
 

Natja

New member
Similar to you Hades, less artsy perhaps, I like to mix things up a bit ;)
Just my kids and their kids all being raised together and no cats....I don't like cats (or dogs or pets in general actually)

Just people, loving, committed and living life.
 

Ariakas

Bosun
I have to admit, I have a good life. I dream, but am pragmatic. I do have goals however, so everything I mention are benchmarks I am working actively to achieve.

I would likely take my life and adjust, stop having a career, and be an successful entrepreneur in my current field. Move away from being tied down and into a true leadership role. Hmm would be nice to do that with the other two geeks in my family. We compliment each others technical skills quite well, covering a large spectrum of our field.

Move into a bigger house, work from home more, make more money.. I am not a fan of slowing down, so have no interest in less work, I would just end up finding way to fill my time anyways.

I want my future child and my current co-children to grow up happy, secure and healthy. My wife to remain to and everyone around me to be so. haha.. not much I can do to control that though.
 

JaneQSmythe

Active member
My "dream" life looks suspiciously like my "real" life except for more time and more money... and is achievable.

Step one: sell the old house (in progress...although slower than I would like)
Step two: save enough to retire early (also in progress...but hampered by step one)
Step three: have enough time to pursue the many hobbies I have collected over my lifetime
Step four: (closely related to step 3) have the resources to "experiment" (the sustainable poly living "compound" being one such path, the successful "post-apocalyptic sci-fi writer" would be another)

Step ZERO: enjoy the journey (I've got this part down :rolleyes:).

Admittedly, my "dream" life has changed over time...at one point it involved having children, for instance (until that was not an option).

I realize that I am lucky in having so few regrets in my life (that guy I slept with, that guy I didn't sleep with, studying for an exam rather than going to that Grateful Dead show before Jerry Garcia died...)

Luckily (or selfishly) my life has been full of people who supported me and my (rather realistic) goals...so I have never really been in a position where I have had to compromise my dreams for another person...only for reality.

Jane("Also-Nearing-40")Q
 

Hades36

New member
Thanks for all the responses. Its really cool reading about your lives, what you want, how thankful you are for what you have, etc.

Jane, my ideal life would also have me being a sci-fi/fantasy writer and role-playing game designer.

And Dagferi, it gave me warm tingles to read that you have two husbands who love you dearly. That's awesome, and I love hearing successful poly stories. So much of what I read or see about poly is negative or filled with drama, so its nice to come to this forum, lurk, and read happy things.

And thanks Ariakas (btw, is that the name of the God of Chaos in Moorcock's Elric books?) and Natja (no cats?! :() for your answers.
 

ColorsWolf

New member
I hope everyone had a great holiday, however you choose to celebrate.

Nearing 40 and really thinking about my life, the decisions I've made, and where those paths have led me. All in all, I have a great life with very little to complain about. But, of course, there are dreams I've compromised, choices I made for other people instead of my own happiness, and those come back to haunt me at times.

So, wanting to ask you fine folk...

What would be your ideal life? What would it look like? Feel like? And what dreams have you compromised for others, and why exactly?

Hoping for some great answers! ;)

For me, my ideal life would be living on a poly commune with a small tribe of lovers and friends who were all artsy, deeply spiritual, and committed to the same vision. I would be a successful writer and roleplaying game designer, and the commune would have dozens of cats (lol) roaming around.

I do want things that would be nice to do and be, but really what I want in the deepest part of me is to be happy when I am and to appreciate every thing: happyness, sadness, pleasure, pain, life, death, wonder, horror, awesome things, repulsive things, etc.; and I do.~

I am happy in this moment, I appreciate every thing, and I am content.~

Love,

ColorsWolf
 

nycindie

Active member
The biggest dream I ever had, and regret not pursuing, was to become an artist. Meaning fine art, like painting and drawing. People always recognize my creativity, and I've done small projects here and there, but never studied fine art nor made a living at it. Now I strive to make films, but the childhood dreams still haunt me.

As for my poly dreams, basically I want to continue living alone (but able to afford a housekeeper, LOL), and have four lover-friends. Two of them would be local or fairly local, and I would see each of them one to three times a week (keeping things spontaneous but knowing I could count on them). Another of the four might live a little farther away but still reachable by train or car, and we'd have a nice weekend once every month or two. And then there would be one long-distance guy who I'd meet for a fabulous getaway once or twice a year.

I think it would be nice to have an easygoing, respectful friendship with a metamour somewhere in that mix, too.
 
Last edited:

Ariakas

Bosun
And thanks Ariakas (btw, is that the name of the God of Chaos in Moorcock's Elric books?) and Natja (no cats?! :() for your answers.

Actually from the dragonlance series, badass evil knight. I got the name the same way I got all my early handles. Pick up nearest book, throw into the air, and find a word on the page it lands on that appeals to me.

Have to admin no cats for me too. I had one for years, but she was more of a dog, which I preferred. Dog personality suits me much better
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Shwhew, cat lover here so let's have those accolades. Actually I likes me some dogs and other critters too, but, other than certain Balinese cats I fall in love with all of 'em.

Re (from Hades36):
"What would be your ideal life? What would it look like? Feel like?"

Hummm. Many-layered question. If ya *really* wanna know, it'd be far in the future, when I had access to perpetual life extension and good reason to expect to be able to take full advantage of it.

From there I'd just like to see and participate in the sum improvement of humanity (and the sum improvement of all life on Earth and beyond). I'd like to learn every (written, spoken, and computer) language, climb every mountain ... visit every planet, star, and galaxy ... you get the picture.

I once described "my version of Heaven" as a little cabin in Tibet, to which my friends and family would come oft to play D&D with me and whatnot. Heh, still doesn't sound bad but I now desire more specific room for the close companions in my life. And I've developed a taste for city life.

Reducing my scope to something closer to reality-as-it-now-is, I wish there was a cure for Alzheimer's and that my wife was still with me. Hmmm, other than that impossible request, I think I'm actually pretty happy with the life I have.

What does it look like? Some guy typing away at his computer in the Seattle area. Ah, the divine joys of wi-fi! How does it feel? Relaxed. Zen. Everything won't be great and perfect in the little life my V has together, but it'll be decent and that makes me mighty lucky. We have a nice house (technically an apartment but sure looks/feels like a house -- a shiny new one at that). I have a "little kingdom" (a roomy personal bedroom -- spacious window, pleasant view -- large attached bath). My favorite brother (along with cool connected relatives) lives nearby. I have a cat who snuggles with me in bed. It's little things like that that make me feel contentedly at home.

Re:
"And what dreams have you compromised for others, and why exactly?"

The biggest dream I ever compromised was the adoption offer extended to me in 1985 by my awesome friend in Colorado and his parents. I turned it down in order to please my own parents, extended family, church, and a God Who I sadly feared/assumed wouldn't take kindly to me walking out on the mission field. I've had many sorrowful regrets about that decision since then ... and yet ... if I hadn't made that decision, then I wouldn't have the life that I have today. I wouldn't have the V companions that I have. So was it ultimately a bad choice? One can never know for sure ... at least not without a time machine.

Good thread, glad I checked it out (and necromanced it).
 
Top