The Stats Don't Match.

Erosa

New member
I just have to ask something...

Statistically (roughly, and since 2009) 11% of females born females identify themselves as bisexual or lesbian. 10% of males identify themselves as bisexual or gay.

Therefore, I have to ask; WHY in poly are nearly all the men I have met hetero-sexual?

I realize that I am talking about a sub-group. But if the statistics are so close, then I would expect to see more bi men who are seeking to join a couple, or more couples who are seeking to have truly inter-mingles love (not just wife trading.)

This really is idle curiosity in some respect but I also have to wonder; why are so many more women so much more open to the idea of having sex with a member of the same gender than men? Especially when statistics seems to indicate only a 1% difference?
 

MonoVCPHG

New member
why are so many more women so much more open to the idea of having sex with a member of the same gender than men?

I can only speak for the world I have lived in for most of my life. I will put this as simple as I can. Woman +woman = cool. Men + men = not cool.

I bet a lot of men are curious abut having sex with other men...but we, as in men, are heavily trained and influenced that doing anything "gay" is wrong.

Essentially, our closet is bigger than yours.
 

drtalon

New member
It might be where you live, too. The percentages don't tell you where those bisexuals are born or live (or where they are more or less likely to identify as bi).
 

GroundedSpirit

New member
Yea Erosa - Mon pretty much summed it up in a sentence or two.

Despite years of activism and publicity, homophobia has really not changed. It seems to have taken a dip for a few years but has been on the growth pattern again the last few years.
I don't know whether it will ever be overcome - at least in western culture.

But on the other hand, although you may have experienced that female bisexuality (the label) is far more common, if you have time and the opportunity, I suspect that you will discover that the number of men who are actually open to bisexual experimentation is far greater than advertised. But you won't see it publicly announced. But if you are in a relationship (or getting there) with a guy - just you TRY expressing to him that it would turn you on to see some guy/guy interaction. Then watch how fast his attitude may turn around. It may take 2 or 3 little hints & grins but you may be pleasantly surprised.

Try it :)

GS
 

Kittywitch

New member
I have to agree as well. The "Man Code" that seems to be a book that is given to each little boy that tells them not to cry, not to talk about their feelings, and never EVER express any interest in other males, is a book that I would love to destroy.

Sure there are those who ignore it, but, the majority of males seem to at least attempt to follow it to a T.
 

Erosa

New member
I have to agree as well. The "Man Code" that seems to be a book that is given to each little boy that tells them not to cry, not to talk about their feelings, and never EVER express any interest in other males, is a book that I would love to destroy.

Sure there are those who ignore it, but, the majority of males seem to at least attempt to follow it to a T.

Kitty, I totally agree with you about the "Man Code" book. I would love to burn it and all the rules you mentioned.

I also think that book contains the two rules that annoy me most in it;

1. When a woman talks about her problems, she wants you to interrupt with possible solutions.

2. You are under no obligation to communicate daily with your female partners, even if you said you would.:mad:
 

RunicWolf

New member
Therefore, I have to ask; WHY in poly are nearly all the men I have met hetero-sexual?

I realize that I am talking about a sub-group. But if the statistics are so close, then I would expect to see more bi men who are seeking to join a couple, or more couples who are seeking to have truly inter-mingles love (not just wife trading.)

My experience on this says the stats are right around correct, if not a little on the low side. Out of every male I know in a poly type relationship (yes, I'm including open ones as well), most are at least bi-curious with about 1-10 being fully bi. I myself identify with bi-curious (mostly because I won't commit to bi-sexual until I've done more) and Wendigo, my wife's boyfriend, is fully bi-sexual.

Then again, it could just be where I'm living as well.
 

BrigidsDaughter

New member
But if you are in a relationship (or getting there) with a guy - just you TRY expressing to him that it would turn you on to see some guy/guy interaction. Then watch how fast his attitude may turn around. It may take 2 or 3 little hints & grins but you may be pleasantly surprised.

Try it :)

GS

Females are also indoctrinated to believe that male on male is gross. For the longest time I refused to even watch porn with male on male interaction due to social conditioning. So, because I had been so adamant in my thought process a decade ago; Runic Wolf didn't believe me at first when I mentioned I thought some guy/ guy interaction would be HAWT.
 

GroundedSpirit

New member
Females are also indoctrinated to believe that male on male is gross. For the longest time I refused to even watch porn with male on male interaction due to social conditioning. So, because I had been so adamant in my thought process a decade ago; Runic Wolf didn't believe me at first when I mentioned I thought some guy/ guy interaction would be HAWT.

You're absolutely right Brigids !
I think that starts to change sometimes if you get a few multipartner experiences under your belt. Your imagination starts to come back. And imagination in sex is critical !

:)

GS
 

Rarechild

New member
I bet a lot of men are curious abut having sex with other men...but we, as in men, are heavily trained and influenced that doing anything "gay" is wrong.

Unfortunately, this "anything gay" many times includes all of the wonders of the prostate as well. This is tragic to me, that many men ignore such a rich source of pleasure in their own bodies, because they associate this with the above mentioned training. It is so taboo that many men are not even aware that they have this pleasure potential that is the twin of the g-spot and the root of their sexual selves.

Embrace it, guys. Believe me.
-R
 

BrigidsDaughter

New member
You're absolutely right Brigids !
I think that starts to change sometimes if you get a few multipartner experiences under your belt. Your imagination starts to come back. And imagination in sex is critical !

:)

GS

For me the change in thought process happened while I was studying for my degree. I have a B.S. in Family Development; studying the different family dynamics across cultures made me think about how children are raised with certain beliefs that are designed to help them fit and function in society as adults. We had many discussions and projects that, over time, helped me find my own core values apart from social conditioning.

A decade ago, it was Runic Wolf holding the mirror infront of my face and saying "honey, you're bi, you need to experience that part of you" and creating/ allowing situations where I could explore my sexuality safely. I honestly don't think I could have emotionally handled him exploring his own at the same time. (Before you say that sounds unfair, I recognize this, but at the time we were stationed 2,000 miles away from home and he was my only family/ support.)

We've never had problems with imagination in sex. ;) But poly does present some interesting postions that cannot be accomplished with only 2 people. ;)
 

toralatigra

New member
Something else to consider is the possibility that of that percentage you mentioned of men who identify as bi or gay, its possible that a higher percentage are gay than bi, thus looking for a couple like a bi sexual woman might doesn't appeal to them because they have no interest in women.

Just a thought though.
 
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