Tomorrow is day one of coming out


New member
A bit of back ground is perhaps necessary.

I have been bi sexual all my life. From the time I first recall being aware of sexual feelings I have had them for both men and women. I was also raised in a very sexually repressive religion. Mormon/latter day saint. Developing sexual feelings for anyone was not something that I was ever comfortable talking to my parents about. I went to great lengths to hide my feelings.

I left the church in my late teens and soon after was married and moving around the country with my military husband and growing our family and living happily ever after.

Then I met Darla. My world went upside down. We fell in love and entered into our V. She and my husband have a strong friendship. They are taking it slow to see if a romantic connection is there. We have been dating for nearly two years.

It's time to tell my family. I don't want it to be a secret anymore. I'd rather have people hate the truth than love a lie. The three of us are ready. All our children know. Darla is out with her family. I'm ready. But damn if I'm not nervous.

Tomorrow my mom, grandmother, and one of my sisters are flying to attend my youngest brothers boot camp graduation. I'm meeting them there and spending the week with them. My husband and our kids are driving to join us on the weekend. It's going to be scary and I don't need or expect their approval right away. It would be lovely if someday Darla and her kids could have a place in my extended family. Only time will tell.

So thanks for reading and wish me luck.


New member
GOOD LUCK! I'm really hoping the best for you.

Willa came out to her mom recently, and it was... a non-event. Totally. Could not have gone better. Both the bisexual relationship and the non-monogamy of it.

Me? Still in the closet about poly, with my family.

So I wish you the best of luck, and am curious how things will turn out.


Well-known member
Good luck!


Good luck to you! Sounds like it is the right time to come out, but it is so nerv-wrecking - each time. Because the "coming out" happens over and over again in different situations with different people. Of course coming out to your family is a one-time thing - I suppose the members of the family who won't be present *will* receive the news sooner or later.

I'd rather have people hate the truth than love a lie.

This I agree with 100%. You sound strong enough to handle all possible reactions. Some of them might hurt, but you are not letting them kill you. Keep up the spirit! You were courageous enough to leave the church, you will be good with this, too :)


New member
Three down. Three thousand to go. Hahaha

My mom took it alright. I was most worried about telling her. She and I are very close but I have never opened up to her about my sexuality. Her biggest worry is that my marriage won't survive the new relationship. There were tears but it ended in hugs.

My sister is amazingly accepting and supportive. She and Darla are now friends on Facebook and getting to know each other. I told her my worries I have about telling my long time best friend (she and sis are close) and she is eager to lend her support.

My brother was pretty blown away. Didn't believe me at first. Lol. Overall he wants us all to be happy and for the kids to be ok.

So that's the start. I still need to tell my dad, two more sisters, and seven more brothers. It should be a pretty interesting family reunion this summer.


New member
Good for you. I completely understand your desire to come out, and your desire to have one big happy poly family. we live that way in secret most of the time but we are a triad and we and all our kids spend a lot of time together. Im glad the process is working for you, I have come out to my mother but no one else yet. good luck and keep us posted.


New member
Hell YES that sounds wonderful.

In our world, we're a few people into coming out. Amy finally told someone (ANYONE) and it was a transcendent experience for her to be out, both in relationships with more than one person and with one of them being a woman. Willa has told her mom and sister and two of her closest friends. I have told my sister and two of my close guy friends. Due to spousal sharing, maybe 10 people total actually know, by now, and it's been like you said: people accepting and crying and hugs at the end, blown away, or wanting to be sure that we'll be okay (sometimes all three in one conversation).

I'm really happy for you!


New member
Wish you the best of luck. I came out as poly a few weeks ago to everyone in my life. I don't regret it in the least, but had a bit of backlash from certain people in my life. I'm happy for you and I'm proud that you have the courage it takes to come out!


New member
Hi :)

That is so awesome. My parents know I'm bi, friends and some acquaintances know we are open. Now, coming out to a friend that I'm madly in love with him is another story. He is the only one that doesn't know, so naive he is. Also pretty heavy luggage, so I'm not sure anymore whether I want to start anything with him right now.

My husband has a lover and only our best friend knows about it.

Mother would freak out if she knew we are open but I'm not interested in deepening the relationship with her anymore (there were 23 years to do that, if it didn't work so far it's not gonna be now).

Congrats for having an accepting family. I was scared to read the outcome but I'm glad I did!