UTI Worries

AzureKnight

New member
I'm hoping the collective wisdom here point me in a direction.

My former partner and I were together exclusively for about 20 years. During that time she had UTIs often, one was especially bad, having them monthly. Doctors were consulted and antibiotics were prescribed but causes weren't addressed, the docs seem to just say "women get UTIs" and not look any further.

I am dating someone new, and she started being impacted by UTIs even though she didn't have a history of them. The occurrence seems to follow pretty closely with our dates. They don't coincide with dates with her long time other partner.

I talked with my former partner and she commented that she hasn't had any over the the year we've been apart.

I'm now very concerned that I am a carrier for something that doesn't seem to impact me but is bad news for women. I'm up to date on my STD screens and there's nothing interesting there.
 
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tenK

New member
Are you particularly well-endowed, or has the kind of intercourse you've been enjoying with these women been particularly aggressive? Sometimes UTI's can come about because of this. Anything that particularly irritates the urethral opening basically. I always make a point of trying to pee after penetrative sex because that's meant to help. I used to get them a lot when I was a kid and remember how seriously un-fun they can be. Touch wood, none since then.
 

PinkPig

Active member
If you're regularly screened for the full gamut of STIs, and come up negative, it could just be the frequency/nature of your sexual activities. Do you do anal/anal play? If so, make sure you always change condoms when going from anal to vaginal sex/play. If you use toys, I'd recommend having separate toys for anal activities and separate toys for vaginal activities and not sharing toys with different partners. And, of course cleaning toys appropriately after sex. It could also be related to how aggressive and frequent penetrative sex is and your size (as ten-k said.) Aside from that, maintaining good hygiene might help (washing hands and genitals prior to contact.) Also, your partner can take proactive steps (showers, no baths, wiping correctly, drinking adequate water, use of cranberry juice/pills, good diet, and urinating immediately after sex are a few that come to mind.)

Can you tell I've had issues with UTIs (& yeast infections, ugh, don't get me started!) One last though, I was in a long-term monogamous relationship prior to Blue. My problems started when Blue & I started having sex. My gyn said that part of my problem was switching partners. My body was use to ex-husband and had to acclimate to Blue.
 
I find I get UTIS if I don't go to the bathroom after sex, within a ten to fifteen minute time frame and they start the next day. I wonder if that happens with men with larger penises more than smaller ones (if you're large and your former partner's new partners are smaller). I don't know because for a long time I only had sex with my husband, who is large, and by the time I had sex with someone smaller, the habit was well established and I wasn't going to break it and possibly be in pain the next day just to test.

My other thought is that it may be bacterial vaginitis, which often presents the same symptoms of a yeast infection but in my case, the time I was diagnosed, felt more like a UTI. I got diagnosed with it when I was at a county health clinic getting an STI panel done. You could be a carrier of the bacteria but have no effects yourself. It couldn't hurt to talk to your doctor about it.
 

laerhk

New member
I second bacterial vaginosis. It's all about the flora balance, which is why it mimics UTI/yeast infections so well. You don't get rid of the bacteria, because it is necessary and supposed to be there, but you do have to get it back into balance so it is not out of control and causing issues. A woman can get it back into balance and then anything can cause it to get back out of balance (introduction of bacteria via hands, mouth, toys/penis, too much lube, using spit instead of lube, etc etc etc. Irritation from sex can make it feel worse.
 

Evie

Moderator
I'm totally prone to these. Some positions make it more likely, due, I suspect, to the ease of which foreign bodies are massaged up the urethra. It may be that one of these positions just happens to be your favourite. Girth, the increase of, can also add to this risk.

And there's the environment - I got extremely sick after some mineral pool fun. And I joke that I only need to look at a bottle of lube (water based, the kind you're 'meant' to use) and I get an infection. Going to the bathroom almost straight after sex is basically mandatory if using water based lube, or saliva.

Also, have you had STI test done on your saliva? I ask because it's well known that chlamydia can reside in the throat or even gums. There may be others too.

On a cheery note, I've found much less likelihood of problems since starting to use natural oil. I use grapeseed, but after I disclosed this to a friend who was also prone to UTIs she tried coconut and had a lot of success.

Also, I have a theory that the medical community would probably snort at, but I suspect that what gets infected most of the time in my case is actually the skenes/female prostate gland. Clearly, knowing this is a functioning part of my anatomy has its up sides such as a much nicer alternative to having to get up and got to the freezing cold bathroom on a winter's night. Downside... more towels in the laundry lol.
 

AzureKnight

New member
Are you particularly well-endowed, or has the kind of intercourse you've been enjoying with these women been particularly aggressive?

I'm not well endowed. I'm told my bend is unusual in that it angles upward instead of to the side. We've wondered if I irritate the urethra that way. I don't think of myself as particularly aggressive. However, I do have an issue with taking too long to come. Possible the combination of these?

Hannahfluke said:
My other thought is that it may be bacterial vaginitis, which often presents the same symptoms of a yeast infection but in my case, the time I was diagnosed, felt more like a UTI. I got diagnosed with it when I was at a county health clinic getting an STI panel done. You could be a carrier of the bacteria but have no effects yourself. It couldn't hurt to talk to your doctor about it.

Would it be likely an experienced doctor would miss bacterial vaginitis when diagnosing my girlfriend? Is it easily mistaken by doctors as well as patients?

Talking to doctors has been frustrating. We have to hound them into doing more than just prescribing antibiotics.
 

Willow64

New member
I have had issues with UTIs when my partner (sorry if TMI) rubs my clitoris in a upwards direction instead of side to side or downward. I know it seems ridiculous, but if you are already sensitive to those and you get a bunch of bacteria rubbed in that direction, it CAN make a difference. Maybe examine your technique.?
 

GalaGirl

Well-known member
Would it be likely an experienced doctor would miss bacterial vaginitis when diagnosing my girlfriend? Is it easily mistaken by doctors as well as patients?

A doc takes a long q-tip thing to do a an internal swab and also gets a pee cup sample to sort out what it might be. I don't see why it would be missed if female patient went in reporting problem symptoms and was asking to be checked out for UTI, yeast, BV or similar so she can know what she has.

Everyone could get a check up, take the suggested meds and clear up. Then could change practices -- try wearing gloves/condoms, peeing and a quick genital wash to see if these things STAY cleared up. Then remove them one at a time to see what happens.

For me too much semen/lube upsets the flora balance -- try condoms / pulling out. I'm supposed to be moist, but TOO much moist can throw that flora balance off. Esp with frequent sex. Getting up to pee and do a quick wash before settling into post sex cuddles might be something to think about.

Also check that you are using condoms on your toys and/or sterilizing them often enough. That could be another area to examine.

Check laundry practices -- how you wash your bedding, undies, etc. Using hot water? Loose fitting and airy enough?

But I'd start with the most likely first and then branch outward from there.

Galagirl
 
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Bluebird

Well-known member
Interesting topic.

I don't think the doctor would make a mistake or overlook one diagnosis for the other.

I get yeast infections constantly, and all the doctors can tell me is to maybe change my diet up a bit. I am really, really wet - even when not thinking about sex - and don't ever wear any underwear, usually. I have frequent sex but we don't use condoms. Semen is usually deposited outside of my body, but as I do have a diaphragm, cumming inside me happens once in a while. There doesn't seem to be a correlation though. I always pee after sex and wipe down as well. Apparently having multiple partners can upset the flora balance too?

I have not ever had a UTI but hit positive for BV 3 years ago, once. I had zero symptoms and at that time had had the same single partner for almost 7 years.
 

PinkPig

Active member
Interesting topic.

I don't think the doctor would make a mistake or overlook one diagnosis for the other.

I get yeast infections constantly, and all the doctors can tell me is to maybe change my diet up a bit.

I agree that the doctors would be unlikely to make a mistake. Especially if they're actually testing, which I assume they're at least doing a pee test.

I hear you on the yeast infections. It was frustrating! Because I'm fluid-bonded with Blue and because we're open, I did get tested for STIs like every 3 months for over a year...always negative. Now, I'm doing it every 6 months. In my case, it was the combo of new partner, hormones (very early menopause), and more frequent/rougher sex. I was doing everything I was suppose to...acidophilus, no underwear (or cotton underwear), loose fitting clothes, acidophilus daily, only dove soap, water based lube (brand recommended by the dr), less sugar in the diet, and they were still constant...even when using diflucan prophylactically. I've started using an OTC product called RePHresh at the recommendation of my gyn. It rebalances the vaginal ph. Since adding it, I haven't had a UTI or yeast infection. Don't know if it actually helps with the UTIs or if just calming things down there in general helped with the UTIs? I was drinking more coffee, less water and I did also switch that back and drop sodas so that probably helped with the UTIs. At any rate, knock on wood, I've been infection-free for a while.

Another way to rebalance the vaginal ph is to use a natural oil as lube. The oil brings the ph back into the 4.5 range that it should be. It's a good, cheaper option. I will probably eventually switch to coconut oil.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I always take two oral doses of Diflucan - the second after 3 days - at the same time I am using the over the counter 3day insert kit from Monistat or whatever is on sale at that time. The combo is the only thing that ever seems to work.

I don't drink coffee. I will have to look for RePHresh. I have never heard of it!
 

PinkPig

Active member
I found it at CVS. I just use the gel. I think I was rx'd diflucan so much that it stopped working. I was on it every 3 days for 6 weeks followed by once a week for 4 and still yeasty :( I keep it on hand at home but have been told not to use it for the next 6 months... just use 7 days of monistat instead. Knock on wood, but I haven't needed anything for 3 months since starting the rephresh.
 

LizziE

New member
I got UTIs a lot when I was younger, any time I had sex with condoms that had spermicidal lube, and then for MONTHS after using a condom with spermicidal lube. Whatever was in that spermicide, it seemed to stick around and make things miserable for me.

What worked for me in the end (beyond going to the doctor for antibiotics nearly every damn time I had sex), was to start regularly drinking pure cranberry juice. About a 4oz glass, twice a day. I like extremely tart things, so this was fine for me, though I think some people would probably want to cut it with water.

That cleared up my UTIs. I stopped using condoms with spermicide. And when I got a UTI in the future (which still happens occasionally when there's been a lot of repetitive thrusting), I drink the cran juice again for about a week.

Since I started doing the cran juice, I'd had yet to get a UTI so severe that I needed to go to the doctor for antibiotics. While I wouldn't necessarily recommend that part of things, if your girlfriend was willing/able to try drinking cran juice daily, it could help.
 

AzureKnight

New member
Hmm. I think I should do some in depth reading. Are there recommended, well cited, substantive books on wellness care for everything "down there"? Feeling like I should know more than I do.
 

AlwaysGrowing

Well-known member
I got UTIs a lot when I was younger, any time I had sex with condoms that had spermicidal lube, and then for MONTHS after using a condom with spermicidal lube. Whatever was in that spermicide, it seemed to stick around and make things miserable for me.

What worked for me in the end (beyond going to the doctor for antibiotics nearly every damn time I had sex), was to start regularly drinking pure cranberry juice. About a 4oz glass, twice a day. I like extremely tart things, so this was fine for me, though I think some people would probably want to cut it with water.

That cleared up my UTIs. I stopped using condoms with spermicide. And when I got a UTI in the future (which still happens occasionally when there's been a lot of repetitive thrusting), I drink the cran juice again for about a week.

Since I started doing the cran juice, I'd had yet to get a UTI so severe that I needed to go to the doctor for antibiotics. While I wouldn't necessarily recommend that part of things, if your girlfriend was willing/able to try drinking cran juice daily, it could help.

This is similar to me... I used to get them off and on when I was using latex condoms. If I didn't pee and wash up within just a few minutes of sex, I'd have one a day or two later. I started loving cranberry juice when I'd get them, so to this day it is part of my routine. I switched to a polyisoprene condom and I haven't had one since. Well, I'm currently fluid bonded to both partners so that's kind of a moot point, but for years before that I hadn't had one. I don't have an allergy to latex, really, but it is just irritating enough to cause a UTI, apparently.
 
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