I'm not married but I've been in a relationship for 14 years, living together for 8, so I might as well be married. I've needed to date so many men to find a decent one. If I was married to a guy, he might've been envious of all the times I've been hit on, and all the good sex I've had. But I've never had a relationship last more than 2 1/2 years. Every guy I've dated has fizzled out on me for one reason or another. I guess it's about 50/50 who's broken up with whom.
My nesting partner is a woman and it took her about 5 years since she and I first met to find herself a really good long term bf.
My current bf is extremely crazy about me, and he really seems like he's going to be around forever. I apparently check all his boxes, so, fingers crossed!
Anyway, what do I want in a man? Would I chose a married poly guy or a single one? I have to say, I can relate to what Kevin said about men, although I've never caught an STD because I am EXTREMELY careful to practice safer sex lol
I've dated so many single guys, who, while charming, fun, nice looking, adorable, good in bed, etc., seem to have had psychological problems that have led to them being unable to sustain a good long-term relationship. On the other hand, I've dated married or partnered guys who had difficult spouses (not really onboard with proper poly), or lots of kids who took up tons of time. I've dated older men who were intimidated by my feminist freedom. I've dated liars who said they wanted a real relationship only to ghost after one or two dates. I've dated more than one guy who swore they were poly and didn't want kids, only to leave me to hook up with single moms!
What do I want? A nice, interesting, smart, literate, kinda nerdy, virile, reasonably fit, funny, decent looking, loyal, sweet caring guy, who is good at texting in between dates, can be counted on to support me with my troubles, who will help me lift heavy things, who will accept my help as well, who will wash his clothes and take showers. My current bf is newly poly, although in the time we've been together he has not been lucky enough to find another person to date long term. He's made friends, he chats with people, but hasn't found anyone just right yet. He's younger than me, not super motivated to get married and have kids with anyone. Basically, he's just what I want (and shall I say, need).