What do you do about Valentine’s Day?

M

MsEmotional

Member
What do you do about Valentine’s Day? Someone who I recently came out to asked me which partner I would be spending Valrntine’s Day with and it was the first time I had thought about it. Ponytail doesn’t have other parners, so I feel weird about leaving him alone on Valentine’s Day, but my husband and I kissed for the first time on Valentine’s Day so it’s kind of special to us....


How do other poly people deal with Valentine’s Day?
 
Why do I need one day a year to celebrate the loves in my life when I have 365 of them.

It is another day created by retailers, resturants and etc to sell you more crap and get you to spend money.
 
All our holidays depend on each person's availability.

Generally I spend Yule and Xmas with Pixi. Often one of my bfs will join us at Yule (a pagan holiday I like to celebrate with a ritual and a meal). The past few years Pixi and I have spent New Year's apart. I think I was alone last year while she was at her bfs, since I didn't have a bf and I was undergoing chemo anyway, didn't feel like partying or sex. I was quite content being home along quiet and resting. This year I was with Kahlo and Pixi was with her bf.

I'll have Valentine's Day with Pixi since she only sees her bf on weekends, and my bf moved an hour west and his visitation schedule back here varies.

One year I spent my birthday with Pixi and the following day with a bf. So I got 2 fantastic celebrations out of it! A whale watch one day and a quiet river canoe trip the next. :)
 
I've never been very good at "coloring inside the lines," especially when the lines are merely hinted at. :eek:

The one-on-one stuff is barely implied, mostly pasted on by random interpretation. Neither Tracy nor I was big on VD (that's what she called it :)), but our partner Annie was, so we'd take her out on an evening of dinner & drinks & flowers & such. One or both would take her to bed, depending on how tired we were by then & who had to wake up first.

Excepting the irrationally superstitious, there's no good reason to do VD on the calendar date, much less to make such gestures ONLY annually on that "official" date.

Not everyone follows strict dyadism. That crap can backfire. Like, Nancy started with Dan a bit before me, so considered him "more primary" (yeah, I know...:rolleyes:). I asked her if I could take her out to dinner, or maybe get a bunch of us together. She demurred: "Dan already said he had something planned." Well, Dan is a bumbling meathead :D & his "plan" consisted of ordering take-out & watching TV. So, by the time Nancy decided she wasn't amused, the rest of us were out carousing, & she had no idea where.

Nothing prevents anyone from going out as a group, or throwing a party. There are public events that aren't strictly dyadic, & some even encourage singles to attend.
 
I've never been really big on Valentine's Day tbh.

Last year both of my boyfriends and I sent Happy V-Day texts to each other and that was it. I'm still with one of them this year and expect much the same, lol.

I'm seeing someone new this year though and I'm not sure how big he is on stuff like this. If it's important to him I'm happy to go out and do something. Otherwise I'm also happy staying in and treating it much like any other day.
 
It's not really important to me. We don't feel the need to celebrate things like this on the exact date anyways. Even our anniversary, if it's on a weekday we'll just celebrate it on the weekend before or after.

I'll do something for Valentine's day for my husband because I know he likes that kind of stuff. Probably a night out that weekend. I don't think my boyfriend cares about it.
 
I think Valentine's day itself is dumb, BUT boy and I don't have an anniversary (neither of us remember when our first date was and we kind of defaulted into a relationship and didn't realize it for months lol) so we go out around that time. He usually gets us chocolates to share and flowers for my house or a potted plant. I take him out somewhere new new for dinner. It's fun enough but not terribly important and very rarely actually on v-day.
 
I personally don't plan anything for any of the holidays, Valentine's included. Brother-Husband will probably get Snowbunny flowers and a card; Snowbunny will probably get him a card. There's a chance the three of us will go out for dinner, not a big chance though.
 
Thanks everyone. I’m realizing that my husband and I rarely even celebrate on Valentine’s Day itself. We usually celebrate on whatever day that week works for us. So it makes sense to me that they’d itself wouldn’t be a big deal — especially since this year it is on a Wednesday.
 
This one's pretty easy for me because Artist and I started dating in early February so we have some romantic date around there, and Valentine's is Knight and I's wedding anniversary so we'll do something romantic around there but it's not _because_ it's Valentine's, per se. He's gonna be out of town on a work trip this time anyway so it's sort of moot.
 
We celebrate our love everyday, so Valentine's Day is not necessary, really. But we will go out for a nice dinner for Valentine's Day, nothing major.
 
I spend Valentine's Day with whichever partner I'm with on that day. I have scheduled days with my boyfriend, so if Valentine's Day falls on one of those, I'm with him. Otherwise I'm with my husband. Not sure how it will work with Facets, but for this year I think we haven't reached the point where Valentine's Day would be a thing anyway.
 
I've always been a huge fan of Cheap Chocolate Day, which usually works out well since I'm normally the secondary. Also I like saving money.
 
Hate it, don't celebrate it with anyone.

This year will be special, though, because I'll be getting my IUD removed and replaced, so I'll probably hate it extra.
 
Noyse said:
I've always been a huge fan of Cheap Chocolate Day, which usually works out well since I'm normally the secondary. Also I like saving money.
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The pink and red heart chocolates come after the red and green santas, but before the pastel egg-and-bunny ones, right?
 
I really like the idea of valentine's Day and beneath the resting bitch face and sarcastic humour, I'm big on romance. However the manthing isn't at all romantic and I don't have any other partners, so my plans will include getting out the sewing machine, pouring a small drink and getting on with whatever orders I have on at the time. I may treat myself and make a fudge cake. Then eat it all.
 
I would guess you could go out to dinner and ask for a table for 3.

What you do at the end of the evening once you get home is your own personal business.
 
AlwaysGrowing said:
I think Valentine's day itself is dumb, BUT boy and I don't have an anniversary (neither of us remember when our first date was and we kind of defaulted into a relationship and didn't realize it for months lol) so we go out around that time. He usually gets us chocolates to share and flowers for my house or a potted plant. I take him out somewhere new new for dinner. It's fun enough but not terribly important and very rarely actually on v-day.
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Dude and I don't have a "real" anniversary date either. The second year we picked one in the general timeframe that he would be able to remember:D.

We don't give occasion presents anyway (unless someone really wants to or it is a joke). My very first V-Day with MrS he did get me a present but didn't make a big deal about it. We were at a dance at a chinese restaurant with a bunch of friends and I went home early to be up for class the next day - when I called to tell him that I was home safe, he told me to look in the closet and there was a box for me.

A few years later I had jokingly whined that he never bought me anything. So on V-day he got me a HUGE heart box of chocolate and a bouquet of roses. Which is hilarious - I don't like chocolate OR cut flowers (especially roses - I prefer daisies...live ones...outside). (He ate the chocolate and we gave the roses to our roommate to give to his boyfriend.)

A few years ago the boys were travelling out west and ended up spending V-day evening looking out over the Grand Canyon - without ME. When I joined up with them later we wondered how the "Valentine's Special Event" at a certain venue would deal with a reservation for 3.:rolleyes:
 
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