What "type" does your SO go for?

km34

New member
I know there has been talk in the past of people's SO's pursuing people who are "too similar" to the poster that it feels threatening or "so different" from the poster that she wonders what it is that the SO even sees in her.

My husband hasn't gotten too far in a relationship yet, but he tends to go for 2 physical types:

1: My body type - a bit on the heavy side or at least solidly built, big boobs.
2: Twigs (no offense) - tall, so thin it seems like you can see through them, no real curves to speak of.

I noticed the trend before he did. The women he is interested in on OkCupid either have pictures that are obviously showing off their gigantic bosoms or they are super thin. It kind of bugged me at first, more the thin ones than the ones built like me ("oh, you'd like me more if I looked like THAT") but then I realized I was being stupid, and it started to amuse me because he went back and looked at the people he's talked to in the past and realized I was right! He felt kind of bad that his decision on whether or not to contact people seemed to rely solely on their acceptance of poly (or at least the lack of judging it) and their body type.

Personality-wise he is attracted to the opposite of me - more submissive-seeming, go-with-the-flow kind of people. Which doesn't surprise me, because he gets enough dominant, I-want-it-my-way crap from me (not in a terrible way, but more often than not I get my way because I make a more valid argument or manage to convince him with my feminine wiles ;) ).

So, what does everyone else think? Does your SO (or SOs) tend to feel attracted to people similar to you or vastly different? Physically or personality-wise.
 

Phy

Member
Hm, interesting, we have talked about this before as well :)

Sward: I was the exception from the rule in his case, physically as well as character-wise. His girlfriends were small, thin, blond and to some extend even tiny. The one before me was 1,50m/4'7 even. Really small. Personality wise he seem to go for the cute and seemingly more passive ones, who can throw a tantrum now and then.

Lin: Well, I am the complete opposite of all of his former girlfriends in regard to my looks as well. He was the taller one, in most cases they were blond, again tiny, small, thin ... you get the picture ^.^ Most of them were a lot like drama queens, if you want to put it negatively. You could also say that they were just a bit bitchy and knew what they wanted even though that changed quite often unfortunately.

Honestly, I don't know why I was chosen in both cases. The whole physical appearance should have been enough to not let them look my way :p And their taste is so similar, it is scary. I noticed a tendency to look after curvy women, in regard to Lin lately. Don't know where this comes from.
 

his1911

New member
We joke about that around here!
my oso usually goes for pretty guys w:eek:ith long flowing hair who wear kilts! (Still wondering why she picked me! Lol)
My wife we tease about having a mental hang up for bisexual disable veterans! ( me and her oso qualify for that!)
 

LovingRadiance

Active member
My boyfriend has always gone for the innocent, girl next door types, usually petite, small "wall mounts" as my ex said.

My husband tends to go for the "slutty", "party girl", big boobs, small waist look.

Although, he broke the mold with the last one, who was so much like me, 20 years ago it was bizarre. She was WAY more my boyfriend's type that Maca's. Totally weird.

Anyway, it does tend to create some conflict, because we're so family oriented and he wants a long-term relationship, but the girls he generally notices are looking for a good time and wouldn't fit in with us AT ALL.
 

Arrowbound

New member
My SO generally hasn't deviated from anyone that is physically similar to me: well-endowed, average height, dark. That's his ideal. All of his exes but the one just before me have had all of those attributes. He's open to all races, and skintones, but he does have a preference with regards to things like curves (a must). As for anything else, they can't be too sensitive, or easily offended, or religious.

He has run into a lot of immature, wishy-washy older AND younger women though, which I know has been disappointing. Out of all of them I've only liked one, and even she ended up going on some rant against poly one day after they had stopped communicating.
 

Tonberry

New member
Seamus's physical type is short and big, especially with red hair.
However, he also is attracted to people he loves, and repusled by people he dislikes. So while I'm not his type (while neither tall nor thin, I'm taller and thinner than his type), he's definitely extremely attracted to me.
So I don't feel any negative emotions about it. If he obviously wasn't attracted to me, I might feel bad that I'm not his type. As it is, I only noticed because he kept being attracted to the same kind of females, and I don't look like any of them, so I was surprised.
 

NovemberRain

New member
I am american, caucasion, tall, curvy, brunette (occasionally bottle-red), short-haired, used to have a smallish rack, now have a large one (not artificial). FBF, when we were mono, got himself attracted to a very tiny asian woman, and the only woman he ever brought round to meet us after that was a lovely, extremely thin, african-american woman. Have no idea what his women looked like before I knew him. European though. CBF doesn't seem to have a type, but loses the ability to speak when confronted with large racks. :) He will turn his head if someone with a nice ass walks by. But doesn't matter what they look like, if they open their mouth and stupid falls out, he's done.
 

newtoday

Member
My bf's live-in SO and I are quite different.

We do share many similar traits - big hearts, educated, intelligent strong minds, physically fit and attractive.

Yet we are so different from each other.

She is a tall, thin, blond; more subdued personality.

I am shorter, not as thin but fit, athletic, curves that he worships. Brunette, girls girl - nails, hair, makeup, heels... I'm not subdued at all, quite energetic, animated, silly. He calls me his little Muppet. :D

We are so different yet he loves us both and what we each offer in our time together.

But speaking of types, my reason for posting is to share a joke that he and I share often. His past gf's have mostly been brunettes. One looked quite a bit like me (albeit younger!), but 3 of us have variations of the same name. :D We often joke, same look, same hair, same name, (they have the same first name, I have it as my middle name)..... coincidence, fetish, or type ???? :D
 

AutumnalTone

New member
I know what Curly says is her type--and it distinctly isn't me! When we were first corresponding (met via Yahoo Personals), she sent a message that described me to a "t"--as *not* her type. I giggled about it and then forgot it until after we started dating; she offered an apology for sending that message because she was mortified at the thought she'd hurt my feelings. She married me, so I can't say that her type preferences are that strong. :)

As for me, I can describe my preferences and then point out that most of the women with whom I've been involved don't come anywhere close, physically.
 

Vinccenzo

New member
I don't really notice a physical type so much as a level of dysfunction and neediness about 85% of the time. He really likes those fixer uppers. :rolleyes:
 

BrigidsDaughter

New member
Hmm, I can't say that I really know Wendigo's type because it's not often that we talk about that sort of thing, but I know that both his wife and I are curvy and have nice full asses. He told me that what first attracted him to me was the fact that I was confident in my sexuality. By the time that I told him I'd been faking the confidence that I showed when we first met 6-7 years ago, I had developed real confidence. :)

Runic Wolf tends to be attracted to women women who are curvy, but proportional, who wear glasses. I think he also has a thing for MILF's (because the last 2 women he dated were definitely MILF's).
 
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mercury

New member
I'm not in a poly situation right now, but when I was, the guy's girlfriend and I look(ed) nothing alike. We're very, very different in looks.

I'm petite, dark-haired, brown-eyed, and thin/toned in body.

She's seven inches taller than me, blond-haired, blue eyed, slightly heavy/a bit meaty. Not fat, though. I can tell she doesn't watch her food intake as much as I do nor does she exercise as much, but she's meaty/slightly fleshy, not fat.

In a way, I thought it was bizarre that he even went for me if she was his girlfriend (and presumably his type). But I guess some men like a variety of different types.
 

JaneQSmythe

Well-known member
MrS likes strong independent intelligent sexually aggressive women who aren't too "girlie" - luckily for me :D. Physically - ?? his first girlfriend was a plump brunette, second was a statuesque red-head, I was a skinny blonde - no pattern there. When we are eyeing up girls together I tend to go for the "curvier" girls and he likes the small-breasted compact ones.

Dude, as far as we can tell, will go for just about anyone...:rolleyes: but is a sucker for girls in scrubs.
 
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Mya

Member
JJ doesn't have another partner besides me, but looking at the women he finds interesting/pretty, they seem quite different from me. They're mostly classical beauties whereas I look more eccentric. I'm short and curvy and I have piercings, tattoos and a constantly changing, usually short, hair. Also, the other women are usually older than me, closer to JJ's own age or even older than him. I'm 6 years younger than him. This doesn't really bother me, because I'm confident in how I look. If he stays with me, he must be somewhat attracted to me, so I don't mind that he likes other types as well.

Rory's other partner is a man so it's difficult to compare. But I think her taste in women is really varied. When we look at random women together, we do find quite a lot of things we both like, but when it comes to women she's actually interested in, there really isn't a physical type. They've all (that I know of) been quite different. I think for her it really is more about what's on the inside, more so than for anyone else I know, myself included.
 

JynLove

New member
LoL! My husband goes for girls exactly like me. It is uncanny. I go for men almost exactly like him. I mean I like variety, but the one I like the most right now is very much like him, even in build. You now except that DH is a complete anti-socialite and R is VERY outgoing.

I tend to also go for girls like me though, but never found one I like enough to date. DH says I will like the girl he is seeing, and that she thinks I am cute. We shall see. I have yet to meet her.
 

km34

New member
I tend to go for men very similar in personality to Keith. Slightly geeky, but interested in outdoorsy stuff, too.

In women, I tend to go for moms. lol Not sure why - maybe it's because I'm a little bit needy and am attracted to the nurturing spirit most mothers have.A guy being good with kids is a major turn on, too. I don't enjoy too many chick flick kind of movies or too much fluff reading (erotica = good, lame romance novels = only good every so often), so a woman similar to me in those interests is a plus.

I don't like too much muscle tone in my men or women. Fit is fine. 6 pack abs, not so much. I like people a bit taller than me, but not too tall (I'm 5'3" so past 6' is too tall for my taste). Other than that... I'm not a huge fan of facial hair. Physically, my tastes vary so much it's ridiculous. It's really the personality that matters to me.
 

ThatGirlInGray

New member
TGIB and I definitely have "types": the similarities between myself and his other female friends, even his ex get scary sometimes. But the same can be said for similarities between MC and TGIB, and both of them compared to other male friends of mine.

Neither MC nor TGIB are into super-skinny girls. Both of them like curves (which is good for me!) and we all like geeky, intelligent people. Beyond curves, I don't think MC or TGIB has a physical type. I tend to like brunettes with glasses (glasses have ALWAYS done it for me!) but I can't figure out if the "brunette" part of that came in to being BECAUSE that's what MC is. It seems to me that I liked a lot more blondes and redheads pre-MC than I do now! :p

I don't like really masculine men or really girlie girls. I seem to like most those people who are somewhere in the middle and have a balance between their masculine and feminine sides. I'm not a girlie girl myself. While I can enjoy dressing up, makeup, etc I've also always been fairly aggressive and tomboyish. Both MC and TGIB are manly without being in-your-face masculine.

So I guess it's good that MC has never felt threatened by people being similar to him, because it has happened a LOT over the years!
 
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