Recent content by acb2012

Well. Here I am again. Posting here, I mean, not in any sort of situation. We're still fumbling along. This long distance thing SUCKS. A lot. I think a LOT of my problems are just dealing with long distance stuff. It will end soon enough, as the plan was in place to move to his city before he...

Well that was a whiny little post. Forgive, please, got a lot going on. The past few weeks have been nutty. Note to self: DO NOT TAKE IN ANY MORE STRAYS. Nightmare. I have expressed my feelings about feeling not able to have the emotional, physical, mental or anything energy to date aside...

I am never going to fit in anywhere. Not in the poly community. Not in the monogamy community. I feel seriously alone in this. In between worlds. I can't ever phrase my world or life so people anywhere understand it.

Wow. It has been three months since that last post. And what a 3 months it has been. After that last speed bump, we really didn't talk much for a bit. I needed some time to get my head straight and to really figure out what the hell I was seeking. So it wasn't until around Christmas that we...

Thank you!!! We've had a good conversation about it today. Your input was helpful!!!

Need a little help. My lover is having a very difficult time on a lot of levels, physically, emotionally, mentally. And I love him and want to support him. And I am pretty new to this relationship (about 8 months), and honestly, pretty new to the concept of polyamory. (Long post... never knew...

I freaking HATE this not being able to communicate my feelings via electronic means to him. I just end up bottling everything up and it just feeds an awful loop of stress and ugly stuff. I hate feeling this vulnerable. I hate being this insecure. And I hate that we went from an amazing weekend...

Like a friend said to me tonight, as I go through my own vulnerable stuff. This is her favorite thing from Dune (yes, we be geeky) I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through...

OK. I am really screwing things up and just need to vent. Got in a huge argument with ____ (I still need a name, or this is going to make me nuts). Basically, it was just absolutely stupid, and I feel like an idiot. It basically just boiled down to we got in a conversation about sharing of...

Oh, most definitely. And yes, it is at the point where my actions speak louder than words in that respect. So, I just keep living it and hopefully he will see. I think when we visited last helped a lot. Baby steps, I guess.

Now I am gearing up for yet another trip to see -----. I wish I could come up with a name for him. Since it is non insignificant drive, we don't see each other much. It's been a weird few weeks. Weird good. Met a new fella at a party, seeing him soon. Got sick of the OK Cupid stuff, and just...

Oh, that is actually a great one liner! Shows that you read his profile and get where he was coming from with that! Brilliant. Plus, you know, Bowie...

I don't think that's weird at all!!! :) And I too have had similar situations trying to find people who can appreciate spending time with me, just kind of doing our own things. I love having their presence in a room, I don't necessarily have to always be talking or what have you.

PS.... while I am mostly just doing this to get all this dumb stuff out of my head, I do welcome comments, etc.

OK. I'm in. I really need to talk/write about this stuff in my brain just to make sense of it. I got here because one of my lovers labelled himself as poly within about 2 days of our "meeting." Yay for honesty. And I really like him and respect him. Sadly, at that point I had no idea what all...